Scotney
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(Original post by boble1)
Hi, my daughter can be a typical teenager at home - but she goes to work with her dad sometimes during the holidays, working 10 hours doing manual work. She can be wonderful.

She was lovely until the A levels started. She is only rude to the biology teacher, not the other 2.

Her dad works hard, sometimes everyday, he tell her how hard it is and he wishes he was clever like her and had the opportunity to study and get a better skilled job. We always encourage and praise where praise is due.
I do not doubt you praise her but you need to discipline her too. Even the fact that you state she is only rude to one teacher shows you are making excuses for her even now. Believe me I do know I have a teenager of my own but if she behaved in this way she kmows it would mean there would be hell to pay at home. Your daughter needs to be punished in ways I detailed above. Not much fun being at home with no phone, no money and chores to do. I dare you try it!
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username4530544
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#22
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(Original post by Scotney)
This situation with your daughter has been going on for the whole of last year. For her own good you need to get tough now. Stop paying for her phone, clothes and social life and I certainly hope she did not ever get that car. If she did sell it. You need to make her realise actions have consequences. Make her get a job and pay rent and for all her own expenditure You have been far too soft to put it lightly You are currently helping her to destroy her future prospdcts. Do something.
Hi, her car has been sitting on the driveway for the past 6 months, my husband buys and sells cars sometimes. She has had no driving lessons yet.

She promised that she would change after the summer holiday.

The school said she is so stubborn and should join a debating team.

I really don't know where she has got this attitude from as she wasn't dragged up.

My other 2 are not like this at all.

I'll see what excuse the school give tomorrow.
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cheesecakelove
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#23
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(Original post by boble1)
Hi, she realised she didn't like biology. The school said it was too late to change so she had to do it as you need to do 3 A levels there. She loves the chemistry and psychology though.

There is no talking to her - we've spoken to her, the school has, she gets on well with the head of science but she has a real problem with the biology teacher. We've all asked her to let it go, it's not the teachers fault she doesn't want to do biology.
If she is adamant that she doesn't want to carry on with biology, perhaps she can drop it, and take another A-Level subject next year (either at the school or privately). Another option is to restart year 12 at a different college, where she can start afresh and with her ideal subject choices. This should be a conversation that you have with your daughter - why she is unhappy, what she wants to do for her studies, what career path she wants etc. - and then the school. I can understand that she has no interest in the subject, but it doesn't excuse her actions. Getting down to the roots of her behaviour and finding a solution is the best way forward.
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username4530544
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#24
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(Original post by Scotney)
I do not doubt you praise her but you need to discipline her too. Even the fact that you state she is only rude to one teacher shows you are making excuses for her even now. Believe me I do know I have a teenager of my own but if she behaved in this way she kmows it would mean there would be hell to pay at home. Your daughter needs to be punished in ways I detailed above. Not much fun being at home with no phone, no money and chores to do. I dare you try it!
She has been disciplined though. She and my husband do grass track racing together - she didn't do it this season because of this. This and having no driving lessons when all her friends are, has been an excellent punishment but it hasn't made her stop and think. She knows all actions have consequences. We've stopped her going out with her friends, taken her X box, phone, computer, etc away too.
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WolfofGatsby
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(Original post by boble1)
Hi, I have asked if she could drop biology but apparently the school have said she need to do 3 A levels there. I will ask them tomorrow if she could do one privately instead. That's a great idea, thank you
No problem at all, have you got any ideas on which A-level she would raher do than Biology?
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username4530544
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(Original post by cheesecakelove)
If she is adamant that she doesn't want to carry on with biology, perhaps she can drop it, and take another A-Level subject next year (either at the school or privately). Another option is to restart year 12 at a different college, where she can start afresh and with her ideal subject choices. This should be a conversation that you have with your daughter - why she is unhappy, what she wants to do for her studies, what career path she wants etc. - and then the school. I can understand that she has no interest in the subject, but it doesn't excuse her actions. Getting down to the roots of her behaviour and finding a solution is the best way forward.
Believe me, we've tried so hard. She is like a brick wall.
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username4530544
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#27
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(Original post by WolfofGatsby)
No problem at all, have you got any ideas on which A-level she would raher do than Biology?
Hi, no I haven't. I will try to ask her tomorrow.
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WolfofGatsby
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(Original post by boble1)
Hi, no I haven't. I will try to ask her tomorrow.
If the school were to allow her to drop Biology, then she would most likely have to take her 3rd A-level privately a year after, because it would be extremely difficult to learn a full specification in less than a year in time for the A-levels in the summer. Despite this, there are a few A-levels that she could probably learn the content of in such little time if she works very hard, such as Business (it's a subject which is more common sense)
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Scotney
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(Original post by boble1)
She has been disciplined though. She and my husband do grass track racing together - she didn't do it this season because of this. This and having no driving lessons when all her friends are, has been an excellent punishment but it hasn't made her stop and think. She knows all actions have consequences. We've stopped her going out with her friends, taken her X box, phone, computer, etc away too.
Just to be clear I am sure you are a great mum but you have a badly behaving daughter and sometimes you have to do things as a parent that you do not like. Both you and her dad must get a lot tougher with this girl. I doubt the school will have her back as she has had her chances plus what sort of precedent would it set to others. Anyways I wish you well it is certainly not easy being a parent but you are not there to be liked or their best friend.
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black tea
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(Original post by boble1)
She knows all actions have consequences. We've stopped her going out with her friends, taken her X box, phone, computer, etc away too.
Your daughter is pretty much an adult. Taking away her phone is not really discipline at her age. If she was mine, I would give her 2 choices - to live in my house by my rules and sort her attitude out and start studying, or to leave my house and live her life how she wishes. If you continue to tolerate her behaviour and to treat her like a child, it will get her nowhere.
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swanseajack1
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My personal view is that the Biology situation is causing her to be resentful. Maybe you could slip her a letter saying you realise how unhappy she is and that you think it might help if she moves to another college where she might be happier and could take subjects she would prefer. In the meantime contact the local college to see whether they will take her. Unless she is taking 4 subjects she will likely need to resit year 12 as most universities require 3 subjects taken in the same sitting. Her new subject needs to be something she will enjoy.
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inesw
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The 3 a levels thing is usually because students have to be in full time education -the solution to this at my school is to allow students to drop an A level and do an EPQ or 1 year BTEC instead. This means they leave school with 3 grades and dont have to resit the year.
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mnot
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(Original post by boble1)
Hi, her car has been sitting on the driveway for the past 6 months, my husband buys and sells cars sometimes. She has had no driving lessons yet.

She promised that she would change after the summer holiday.

The school said she is so stubborn and should join a debating team.

I really don't know where she has got this attitude from as she wasn't dragged up.

My other 2 are not like this at all.

I'll see what excuse the school give tomorrow.
It sounds like the school has made reasonable suggestions and guidance to try and find the best path for your daughter. However every school has limited time & resources and needs to make sure 1 student is not wasting them so all students have ample opportunity to succeed.

Stuff like ill change after the holidays is actually quite an evasive tactic and just delays the discussion.

At some point your daughter needs to take responsibility for herself, she is in 6-form, whilst as a parent you'll always want the best for your daughter, ultimately its her decision as to how well she does.
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swanseajack1
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(Original post by inesw)
The 3 a levels thing is usually because students have to be in full time education -the solution to this at my school is to allow students to drop an A level and do an EPQ or 1 year BTEC instead. This means they leave school with 3 grades and dont have to resit the year.
(Original post by swanseajack1)
My personal view is that the Biology situation is causing her to be resentful. Maybe you could slip her a letter saying you realise how unhappy she is and that you think it might help if she moves to another college where she might be happier and could take subjects she would prefer. In the meantime contact the local college to see whether they will take her. Unless she is taking 4 subjects she will likely need to resit year 12 as most universities require 3 subjects taken in the same sitting. Her new subject needs to be something she will enjoy.
The issue is that nearly all universities make offers on 3 subjects. You can take a btec instead of an A level but they are 2 year courses and would require taking a year longer unless there is a subject that can be fast tracked in a year which effectively is the same as taking 4 A levels. This is the reason for re taking year 12 so all subjects can be taken in the same sitting as required by many universities. An EPQ is half an A level and wont meet the university conditions. Taking an EPQ usually leads to a 1 grade drop in 1 subject
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CCauston113
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To get to the root of the problem, it might be worth seeing if there's a different family member she is willing to talk to, or if it's just because she doesn't like her options she could repeat year 1 with different options, depending how supportive the sixth form is.

If she is put on enforced study leave, and you have a good relationship normally, it might be worth drawing up a revision timetable together. Start with her deciding how long each day she wants to study for and what time she works best (don't interfere too much or she could rebel more - if she decides she wants to work late at night that's her choice, if she's at home all the time she can shift her sleep cycle anyway - just make sure she will do something each day). Then break each subject down into topics (the syllabus will be useful for this), work out how long each topic will take to study and distribute the blocks throughout the year using phased repetition. Suggest that she thinks about how she learns best and how she can use that knowledge to learn and revise effectively in less time.
By about April, she should be heading into full revision mode for exams.

As you say that the change in behaviour occurred recently, I'd guess there is an underlying issue.This could be a teacher, a friend/boyfriend, she could be stressed, the school might not be letting her study in the way she finds best etc. To reiterate, see if she'll talk to a different family member/counselor.
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username4530544
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#36
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(Original post by CCauston113)
To get to the root of the problem, it might be worth seeing if there's a different family member she is willing to talk to, or if it's just because she doesn't like her options she could repeat year 1 with different options, depending how supportive the sixth form is.

If she is put on enforced study leave, and you have a good relationship normally, it might be worth drawing up a revision timetable together. Start with her deciding how long each day she wants to study for and what time she works best (don't interfere too much or she could rebel more - if she decides she wants to work late at night that's her choice, if she's at home all the time she can shift her sleep cycle anyway - just make sure she will do something each day). Then break each subject down into topics (the syllabus will be useful for this), work out how long each topic will take to study and distribute the blocks throughout the year using phased repetition. Suggest that she thinks about how she learns best and how she can use that knowledge to learn and revise effectively in less time.
By about April, she should be heading into full revision mode for exams.

As you say that the change in behaviour occurred recently, I'd guess there is an underlying issue.This could be a teacher, a friend/boyfriend, she could be stressed, the school might not be letting her study in the way she finds best etc. To reiterate, see if she'll talk to a different family member/counselor.
Hi, thank you. This is the best advice ever.

Her behaviour started with the A levels. It's the biology making her this way.

I really want her to talk to a counselor but I know she will just clam up. I am quite happy to get a private tutor for her.

The school will be ringing my husband this morning.
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CCauston113
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(Original post by boble1)
Hi, thank you. This is the best advice ever.

Her behaviour started with the A levels. It's the biology making her this way.

I really want her to talk to a counselor but I know she will just clam up. I am quite happy to get a private tutor for her.

The school will be ringing my husband this morning.
I'm glad it helped; I thought that as someone who's just finished A levels I might be able to offer a fresh perspective. I would start by seeing if she would like to change sixth form so she can repeat year 12 with different subjects, since that seems to be the root of the problem. It's not uncommon, and as long as she puts in the effort with her new options it could be worth it. It means she'll start uni a year older(if she wants to) but she'll still be the same age as people who did a gap year; just maybe suggest she doesn't do both. I have a friend who repeated year 12, is doing a gap year and is going to a Scottish university, where they start a year younger, meaning he'll be the same age as the Scottish students that are in their final year when he starts.
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JJJJJAAAAMES
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Looks like the problem lies with the school. At mine they let people drop an A level at the end of year 12, but then they would have to stay for 2 more years (years 13 and 14) to study their new 3rd A level
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AGrizzlyBearo
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If she's just being disruptive in biology lessons, why not trying to see it's possible for her to continue her lessons in chemistry (and the other subject) at school, while she just has the 'enforced study leave' for biology.
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idontkn
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Does she have mental health issues? If she does, it might be good if she can see a psychiatrist or counsellor about her behaviour.

I don’t understand, if she really wanted to drop biology, why didn’t she just fail the exam on purpose in year 1? then the school might let her choose whether she wants to resit the exam or drop the subject. Sorted. She didn’t need to pass it unless it was an AS and she did an external exam at the end of year 1 as that goes on your university application. If it was an internal mock set by her teacher then if she fails it won’t count towards anything so she could fail it and pick up another AS.

I was in a similar position but with sociology, I wasn’t disruptive, I just fell ill because of sociology and left. I did not fail on purpose though.
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