An older, married man wants me to be his lover Watch

TheMadNerd93
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#21
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#21
I was about to advise you to set clear boundaries between you and him and let him know about it, but having scrolled down and found your response regarding you having already done so yet he kind of "insisted on his request", then let me advise you to seriously start establishing a distance from him. You seem really respectful of your relationship, given that you focus on the friendly, platonic aspect, and that you care about his wife and preserving his marital life. He on the other hand is awfully inconsiderate of that poor woman's feelings and of yours. He's a cheater who's waiting for a chance to function. You deserve a better person to have your friendship and caring company. You are entitled to approach a third party for assistance in case, God forbid, that man attempts in the future to disrupt your security.
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Oxford Mum
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#22
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#22
(Original post by TheMadNerd93)
I was about to advise you to set clear boundaries between you and him and let him know about it, but having scrolled down and found your response regarding you having already done so yet he kind of "insisted on his request", then let me advise you to seriously start establishing a distance from him. You seem really respectful of your relationship, given that you focus on the friendly, platonic aspect, and that you care about his wife and preserving his marital life. He on the other hand is awfully inconsiderate of that poor woman's feelings and of yours. He's a cheater who's waiting for a chance to function. You deserve a better person to have your friendship and caring company. You are entitled to approach a third party for assistance in case, God forbid, that man attempts in the future to disrupt your security.
Yet more absolutely stunning advice from you TheMadNerd93

Hope you are enjoying your final year at Uni, and great to see you back!
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Anonymous #2
#23
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#23
(Original post by Anonymous)
if u wanna be a gold digger yeah for sure u can do that but remember he has kids and he's married
lmao hes a married man who wants to cheat on his wife and kids with some younger pussay
no idea why you're defending someone like that. you must have equally low standards.
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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#24
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#24
If you have sex with somebody who you know to be in a relationship, I don't think very much of you as a person. Women don't do that to other women. Yes, okay, so perhaps they would have split up anyway, but you don't want to be a part of the reason, particularly when he has kids to upset.

Just stay well away.
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karl pilkington
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#25
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#25
no don't try to 'help' him or be nice as it will lead him on give him the hold shoulder and tell him you are not interested
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ilzan
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#26
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#26
(Original post by ANM775)
Just tell him

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends....."

and take it from there
(Original post by Kathy89)
NO!!!! I want to help him by meeting with him and talking... just to know what's wrong and give advice.

I know he's inappropriate, but I think it is more a call for help than wanting to use me. Another reason why I want to meet him.

I wanna stress one little point. Just accept that he doesn’t have any problem, he is just pretending to have problems. That is the first rule of the mens’ book. It is all about to keep your attention up. I am sure he has many friends or family members who can help him all those of things he go through. So you are not the only one on the earth.
You told that he wants to have sex with you. Thats the answer. Whole things and coffees and meetings and compliments and soooo on are for having sex with you. Thats all. He doesnt need your help. He doesnt even have any problem!!!

Anyway just keep away from him. Because i can see that you tend to get involve in this s*it. Dont do anything wrong because for sure at the end of the story you’ll be regretful and sorry.

Protect yourself fron him. You are a mature woman.
Last edited by ilzan; 6 days ago
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Anonymous #1
#27
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#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
lmao hes a married man who wants to cheat on his wife and kids with some younger pussay
no idea why you're defending someone like that. you must have equally low standards.
what are you even saying lol ! so ur saying " he's a married man and he wants to cheat on his wife so if he's low then u should be low with him " no dear thats not how things work !!! she should not have sex with him becz he has kids and he's married if he wants to cheat on his wife let him but don't be the reason to get this family in problem. I DONT SEE WHY AM BEING EQUALLY LOW STANDARDS. "THE ONLY PERSON I SEE HERE WHO IS LOW STANDARDS IS U AND AGREEING WITH THE IDEA that SHE SHOULD HAVE SEX WITH HIM CUZ HE WANTS TO "like dude what!!!!!!!!!
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Anonymous #1
#28
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#28
(Original post by Anonymous)
lmao hes a married man who wants to cheat on his wife and kids with some younger pussay
no idea why you're defending someone like that. you must have equally low standards.
dude I think u guys are on the same idea.
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Anonymous #1
#29
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#29
a

(Original post by Anonymous)
lmao hes a married man who wants to cheat on his wife and kids with some younger pussay
no idea why you're defending someone like that. you must have equally low standards.
and dude ur the one who is saying u should start charging him and **** like why u CAN JUST LEAVE HIM easily and not waste ur time on someone like him
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mgi
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#30
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#30
(Original post by Kathy89)
I'm almost 30, he's in his 40's.... not big deal....

I work at a contact lenses distributor's company, the guy is an optometrist (shop owner), so he's a client of our company and I'm an agent working with him. We meet once or twice a month, he is very nice guy and I really like talking to him. We sort of helped each other psychologically, friendly support. I sort of opened up to him saying I'm poly and not in a relationship anymore (I was kind of broken than), earlier he said he's getting old, grey hair, loss of vision, getting fatter etc... mid age things, I sort of supported him with his problems, he sort of supported me with mine. Now he says he want to meet, keep saying all kind of compliments to me... At first it seems nice... but a few days ago he actually said it stright. He wants to meet off work, even offered a date.... I gently said that just meeting for a cup of coffee is fine, he started writing to the point stuff and even said dirrectly he wants to meet for sex.

I don't know how to react.... I don't want to have sex with a married guy... I mean I don't want to be any reason for ruining his family if it comes to this.... and honestly I don't know if I would go for it even if he wasn't married... (seems a bit too pushy),eventough he's usually a nice guy. On the other hand something is clearly happening with him and I may be able to help (just talking).

I'm lost in this awkward situation...
You just need to say you don't want a sexual relationship. He will probably not leave his wife for you either. Too complicated!
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PQ
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#31
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#31
Cut him out. Tell your employer that he propositioned you and when you refused he has ignored you and keeps pressuring you. You don’t have to work with people who don’t understand boundaries.
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Anonymous #1
#32
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#32
(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
If you have sex with somebody who you know to be in a relationship, I don't think very much of you as a person. Women don't do that to other women. Yes, okay, so perhaps they would have split up anyway, but you don't want to be a part of the reason, particularly when he has kids to upset.

Just stay well away.
I agreee !!!!
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Anonymous #2
#33
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#33
(Original post by Anonymous)
what are you even saying lol ! so ur saying " he's a married man and he wants to cheat on his wife so if he's low then u should be low with him " no dear thats not how things work !!! she should not have sex with him becz he has kids and he's married if he wants to cheat on his wife let him but don't be the reason to get this family in problem. I DONT SEE WHY AM BEING EQUALLY LOW STANDARDS. "THE ONLY PERSON I SEE HERE WHO IS LOW STANDARDS IS U AND AGREEING WITH THE IDEA that SHE SHOULD HAVE SEX WITH HIM CUZ HE WANTS TO "like dude what!!!!!!!!!
man i pray your future wife and every girlfriend you ever get (if you even get one) cheats on you... thats what a pos like you deserves.
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Anonymous #1
#34
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#34
why the **** would my girl cheat on me if I don't wish that for anyone lol . and fyi go read again what I said then u can come and **** around the way u want cuz from the beginning u did not understand so yeah. and who the **** r u so u can tell me what will happen or even wish like dude u creepy !!!!!
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Anonymous #1
#35
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#35
(Original post by Anonymous)
man i pray your future wife and every girlfriend you ever get (if you even get one) cheats on you... thats what a pos like you deserves.
why the **** would my girl cheat on me if I don't wish that for anyone lol . and fyi go read again what I said then u can come and **** around the way u want cuz from the beginning u did not understand so yeah. and who the **** r u so u can tell me what will happen or even wish like dude u creepy !!!!!
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Anonymous #2
#36
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#36
(Original post by Anonymous)
why the **** would my girl cheat on me if I don't wish that for anyone lol . and fyi go read again what I said then u can come and **** around the way u want cuz from the beginning u did not understand so yeah. and who the **** r u so u can tell me what will happen or even wish like dude u creepy !!!!!
oh so now you're backtracking, how typical. you said

(Original post by Anonymous)
what are you even saying lol ! so ur saying " he's a married man and he wants to cheat on his wife so if he's low then u should be low with him " no dear thats not how things work !!! she should not have sex with him becz he has kids and he's married if he wants to cheat on his wife let him but don't be the reason to get this family in problem.
YOU'RE the one who is condoning cheating. wtf do you mean LET HIM. and then you have the nerve to say I would be the one causing problems for his family by telling her to ask him for money. no moron, HE would be the one causing problems for his own family by ****ing cheating! are you stupid or what. and if you see no problem with a man cheating on his wife (why else would you say LET HIM???) then likewise you deserve to be cheated on too.
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mgi
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#37
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#37
If yiu want to sleep with a older married man then don't delude yourself- you are his bit on the side! His f..k buddy, get it clear!
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TheMadNerd93
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#38
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#38
(Original post by ilzan)
Just accept that he doesn’t have any problem, he is just pretending to have problems. That is the first rule of the mens’ book. It is all about to keep your attention up. I am sure he has many friends or family members who can help him all those of things he go through. So you are not the only one on the earth.
That's absolutely correct!! To a huge misfortune, there exist a plenty of men who tend to play this farce so as to gain the emotional support from addressed ladies, which initially is characterised by friendliness yet gradually transfers into an unwanted attachment.
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Dunya
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#39
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#39
Woah how do you even see past red flags like that?
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TeriBud
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#40
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#40
“My wife doesn’t understand me” is the oldest trick in the book. He is seeking to emotionally engage with you and keep your attention and you read as flattered that he needs your help.

This is a professional relationship and as such it needs appropriate boundaries. He is a client. You cannot be a friend or therapist to this man without compromising yourself emotionally and professionally.

Only you can decide what you’re going to do, but as a rule of thumb, consider how any choice you make (and assuming here that you don’t have sex with him) would look to your employer, to your family and friends and his wife and children? Do the right thing for yourself
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