I like white boys but white boys don’t like me

I can’t seem to find any white guys who are attracted to black girls. Most white guys I’ve encountered only date within their race and the rest will fetishise me, will want to sleep me but will never want to make me their girlfriend bc they’re embarrassed of what their family/friends will think. I live in a small city, where there’s hardly any black people so I’ve struggled to date within my race. I’ve tried using tinder and other dating apps but everyone is just looking for sex and nothing serious. In real life, I’ll only get approached by white men if I have a weave especially when I have blonde hair, I get a lot attention. I’m scared to make the first move in case I get rejected. It really messes with my self esteem because I feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. I’m 20 years old, I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m feeling like I’m going to be alone forever. Seeing all my friends in serious relationships just reinforces those thoughts. I wish someone would just like me for who I am.

You talk about white guys having a fetish over you but don't you think you might be doing the same over white guys? Have you considered widening your dating pool to guys who aren't white? Having said that, you will get white guys who will like you for you. It's just a matter of waiting for the right person.

I don’t, i have said that I would date within my race but it’s not possible because of where I live. There’s hardly any black people. Plus I wouldn’t date any white man because they are white, I still have my standards.

Do you prefer black guys or white guys? I don't know what to suggest a lot of white guys prefer white girls just look at Samira from love island. People tend to prefer their own race that doesn't mean they think black women are ugly but they just prefer their own.

I can’t seem to find any white guys who are attracted to black girls. Most white guys I’ve encountered only date within their race and the rest will fetishise me, will want to sleep me but will never want to make me their girlfriend bc they’re embarrassed of what their family/friends will think. I live in a small city, where there’s hardly any black people so I’ve struggled to date within my race. I’ve tried using tinder and other dating apps but everyone is just looking for sex and nothing serious. In real life, I’ll only get approached by white men if I have a weave especially when I have blonde hair, I get a lot attention. I’m scared to make the first move in case I get rejected. It really messes with my self esteem because I feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. I’m 20 years old, I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m feeling like I’m going to be alone forever. Seeing all my friends in serious relationships just reinforces those thoughts. I wish someone would just like me for who I am.

Would you consider longer distance? I am sure you could meet someone from out of your local area who would meet your standard. I think it is a case of putting yourself out there in my opinion

I know a black girl who had your exact same problem.

In the end she ended up dating a white guy and a half white half east asian guy she was on the same forum as.

and yeah, she got a lot of attention. in fact on dating sites she got 3X the attention than this other white girl I know in London, and the white girl would have been seen as more conventually attractive by society standards. I think the fact she was a black girl in a white area boosted her market value

Wow that’s actually really cool that she met someone on here. Yeah see that’s what I want to avoid being seen a trophy or to fulfil someone’s fetish fantasy. I want attention to be genuine and not just for sexual purposes. Was the white girl not getting as many matches because she was being picky with who she swiped right or?

It wasn't TSR it was another site she met people..

and the dating site the two girls were on was pof.com,
pof uses messages primarly [not matches]. and the white girl was getting around 3x times less. I think the reason must have been down to location. Supply and demand. As a black girl in an all white area her market value rose. The other white girl had more white girls to compete with so must not of stood out as much.

Out of the two though, the black girl was the pickiest. Constantly going on dates...

I had another female friend like that too. Both eventually found partners on that non dating site. I think when people use online dating sites they get too bogged down with looking for perfection. The guys they got with were good looking. but they 7's imo. The girls could have had better looking guys on the dating site, but when you actually get to know someone looks become not as important so i can see why they got together.

I'd say it's probably a bit more challenging to meet people from the opposite sex on TSR though. Because the sites bans public meets from being advertised and will tear down topics where people are trying to do that, so the only way to do that is to slide into someone's dms and try to meet them rather than put up a topic and ask if anyone wants to go pub on saturday or something
...and a guy sliding into a girls dm's and asking to meet will probably scare some girls off tbh, rather than them seeing a public meet topic and deciding to come to that and you meet them that way.

It wasn't TSR it was another site she met people..

and the dating site the two girls were on was pof.com,
pof uses messages primarly [not matches]. and the white girl was getting around 3x times less. I think the reason must have been down to location. Supply and demand. As a black girl in an all white area her market value rose. The other white girl had more white girls to compete with so must not of stood out as much.

Out of the two though, the black girl was the pickiest. Constantly going on dates...

I had another female friend like that too. Both eventually found partners on that non dating site. I think when people use online dating sites they get too bogged down with looking for perfection. The guys they got with were good looking. but they 7's imo. The girls could have had better looking guys on the dating site, but when you actually get to know someone looks become not as important so i can see why they got together.

I'd say it's probably a bit more challenging to meet people from the opposite sex on TSR though. Because the sites bans public meets from being advertised and will tear down topics where people are trying to do that, so the only way to do that is to slide into someone's dms and try to meet them rather than put up a topic and ask if anyone wants to go pub on saturday or something
...and a guy sliding into a girls dm's and asking to meet will probably scare some girls off tbh, rather than them seeing a public meet topic and deciding to come to that and you meet them that way.

So on plenty of fish, anyone can message you but you have to accept which ones you want to reply to? I live in Kings Lynn with a population of around 150 thousand people so significantly way smaller than London. Where I live, people would rather date a white girl by any means if you’re other than the stereotypical white girl, you won’t be given a glance. Since there is so many options, people don’t want to settle, they always think they can do better. Also there’s always another boy/girl waiting at a tap of a button. That’s what frustrates me about online dating. I’m not looking for a perfect guy but I would like a guy who’s like me, into going to the gym, is outgoing and is fashionable but guys like that always tend to be massive jerks. People on TSR are so interesting if only it was easier to find someone. I might consider messaging someone

I can’t seem to find any white guys who are attracted to black girls. Most white guys I’ve encountered only date within their race and the rest will fetishise me, will want to sleep me but will never want to make me their girlfriend bc they’re embarrassed of what their family/friends will think. I live in a small city, where there’s hardly any black people so I’ve struggled to date within my race. I’ve tried using tinder and other dating apps but everyone is just looking for sex and nothing serious. In real life, I’ll only get approached by white men if I have a weave especially when I have blonde hair, I get a lot attention. I’m scared to make the first move in case I get rejected. It really messes with my self esteem because I feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. I’m 20 years old, I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m feeling like I’m going to be alone forever. Seeing all my friends in serious relationships just reinforces those thoughts. I wish someone would just like me for who I am.

yep on pof anyone can message you.
girls tend to get bombared with messages

If you are on Tinder I think you're on the worst possible app if you're looking for a relationship tbh. Tinder is a hookup app and has a repuation as such.

perhaps try match.com or something. yeah, you have to pay ..but the people there are probably gonna be more
serious about finding someone.

kings lynn?
I had to google that. never heard of it. it looks very dated and in need of modernisation. I can imagine lots of old white people retiring there or something. what on earth are you doing up there lol.

maybe consider moving.

Firstly, it is good for society that you are attempting to integrate with white society via dating.

Secondly, while some folk do get relationships on Tinder it is ultimately a sex app. People (and by that i mean women) should not complain they can't find a decent man on there if they don't do enough basic research to identify that it's primary purpose was and still largely is sex, it is the shallowest app out there.

On the subject of your problem your correct that many white men often find black women relatively unattractive however as you have stated if you wear more feminine clothes, wear makeup and die your hair and hang around with white female friends it's likely that men will assume that your into white men and that will entice those that do find you attractive out of the woodwork. A lot of men just assume what if your with other black people and look very African that you probably don't date.

As another user has mentioned i would try Plenty Of Fish. Women are hounded on there but its mostly free, has a good search feature and requires messaging. You could equally message TSR users but without revealing your location and a picture you'll be flying blind so to speak.

I can’t seem to find any white guys who are attracted to black girls. Most white guys I’ve encountered only date within their race and the rest will fetishise me, will want to sleep me but will never want to make me their girlfriend bc they’re embarrassed of what their family/friends will think. I live in a small city, where there’s hardly any black people so I’ve struggled to date within my race. I’ve tried using tinder and other dating apps but everyone is just looking for sex and nothing serious. In real life, I’ll only get approached by white men if I have a weave especially when I have blonde hair, I get a lot attention. I’m scared to make the first move in case I get rejected. It really messes with my self esteem because I feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. I’m 20 years old, I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m feeling like I’m going to be alone forever. Seeing all my friends in serious relationships just reinforces those thoughts. I wish someone would just like me for who I am.

You talk about white guys having a fetish over you but don't you think you might be doing the same over white guys? Have you considered widening your dating pool to guys who aren't white? Having said that, you will get white guys who will like you for you. It's just a matter of waiting for the right person.

word of advice: white boys aint it.

there are far better types of guys who would appreciate your seasoning, white ones just tend to prefer white girls but that’s more than fine because why have salt and pepper when you can have chilli elsewhere??