Bf's size turns me off Watch

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angelinahx
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#41
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(Original post by kai'sa)
lmao such a dumb response
i know that y'all are the fattest in europe and it's considered acceptable in the uk but please-
everyone, including women, deserve to be with someone they're attracted to physically.
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Anonymous #1
#42
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(Original post by Silent0239)
Ha, what? I hope you're joking.



Sex life as much of a part of a relationship as anything else -- it may very well be one of the key components to it.

I can understand that you're unhappy with this particular part of it, and you have every right to be. Whether it is due to performance or preferences, you (and him) have the right to have preferences.

Now, there is a handful of way to approaching this issue.

1) You can try different positions.

There are plenty. There are even books about them. Maybe if you were to experiment, you would not notice the things that put you off so much. I am no expert by any means, but it might be worth looking into new things.

2) Consider sex therapy.

Yes, it is a thing. You are not the only one that can experience dissatisfaction of the action in bed! They most likely will help you address your concerns to your bf and hopefully work together at solving them.

3) Tell him.

Obviously, it might be not the most preferred option. You've mentioned he is sensitive and talking to him about his weight might belittle his confidence - which is something we want to avoid - no-one should be belittling their partner or by any means using their insecurity for your gains, just to make it clear to all the teens out there.

Addressing it directly will be difficult. You will be talking about something you dislike about him which would require long-term commitment to change - from both of you. I think, if you do want to consider doing this, is to address the weight gently, not the sex. You can go with the route of "worrying about your health in the long run" (which can be interpreted in many ways), "I want to try this new gym/activity, want to try it with me?" or even "I found this diet, want to try it with me?" or "I thought we could help/motivate each other."

Be careful not to inference that YOU don't like his weight, unless you really want to be blunt and straight to the point.

If it was me, I'd firstly attempt solving it without directly addressing it: change things up. If it don't work, or you feel like you should or want to address it, do it! After all, what you decide to do is for the benefit of YOUR relationship - yours AND his.

In a relationship, whenever facing a problem, no matter how personal, it's best to solve it together. Don't forget that.

I hope this gives you a fair idea of what you can do.

All the best.
Thank you so so much! Have a great day
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angelinahx
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#43
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woman: "i'm not attracted to my current bf because he's clinically obese"
toxic men: "WELL WOMEN ARE FAT TOO BUT NOBODY EVER COMPLAINS ABOUT FAT WOMEN MAYBE IF YOU WERENT SO SELFISH TO WANT SOMEONE WHO YOURE ATTRACTED TO YOU WOULDNT HAVE THIS PROBLEM BUT HERE WE ARE"
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by angelinahx)
i know that y'all are the fattest in europe and it's considered acceptable in the uk but please-
everyone, including women, deserve to be with someone they're attracted to physically.
The point is you idiot. He was ALREADY big when she chose to date him so she cant claim to not be attracted to him now. You were asked why she’s dating him if she doesn’t like his size, yet you haven’t answered. Do us brits need to dumb the question down for you cause ‘ya’ll’ clearly cant read??
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Agree. If she loved him she’d have the decency to speak to him about this issue instead of making him an unnecessary laughing stock online, whether he knows it or not. Baffles me people claim to be ‘deeply in love’ yet cant have a serious adult conversation together. Relationships without communication don’t work. Maybe he’s over weight because she’s a sh’tty gf and makes him feel bad. He could have planned to try lose weight when they got together but maybe she makes sly comments about him all the time and it made him depressed & not motivated. This is just her side of the story, and from her attitude, he needs to leave her. Much more is needed in a partner than just being slim
I would never ever make sly comments towards him & I don't want a slim partner, I want a healthy one.
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kai'sa
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#46
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(Original post by angelinahx)
i know that y'all are the fattest in europe and it's considered acceptable in the uk but please-
everyone, including women, deserve to be with someone they're attracted to physically.
'leave him' is every typical response from ignorant people like you. she clearly states she wont leave him so either give her relevant advice or go comment without thinking on another thread.

nobody mentioned wtf ur talking about. op said she was attracted to him.

everyone includes males and females so idk why u said 'including female'. sensing a feminist here
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angelinahx
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#47
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The point is you idiot. He was ALREADY big when she chose to date him so she cant claim to not be attracted to him now. You were asked why she’s dating him if she doesn’t like his size, yet you haven’t answered. Do us brits need to dumb the question down for you cause ‘ya’ll’ clearly cant read??
of course she can? it's called infatuation
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Roses + Dreams
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The bigger boobs thing bouncing kinda made me laugh ngl. :flute:
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kai'sa
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#49
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(Original post by angelinahx)
i know that y'all are the fattest in europe and it's considered acceptable in the uk but please-
everyone, including women, deserve to be with someone they're attracted to physically.
yes op shouldn't date a person she isn't attracted to physically which is why her bf needs to get running or she can leave him.

i mean every1 wants a fit partner and as shallow as that sounds its normal
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angelinahx
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(Original post by kai'sa)
'leave him' is every typical response from ignorant people like you. she clearly states she wont leave him so either give her relevant advice or go comment without thinking on another thread.

nobody mentioned wtf ur talking about. op said she was attracted to him.

everyone includes males and females so idk why u said 'including female'. sensing a feminist here
she said........ that her bf's size turns her off.........
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Anonymous #1
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#51
(Original post by angelinahx)
woman: "i'm not attracted to my current bf because he's clinically obese"
toxic men: "WELL WOMEN ARE FAT TOO BUT NOBODY EVER COMPLAINS ABOUT FAT WOMEN MAYBE IF YOU WERENT SO SELFISH TO WANT SOMEONE WHO YOURE ATTRACTED TO YOU WOULDNT HAVE THIS PROBLEM BUT HERE WE ARE"
Literally. They have to reverse EVERYTHING.
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angelinahx
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(Original post by kai'sa)
yes op shouldn't date a person she isn't attracted to physically which is why her bf needs to get running or she can leave him.

i mean every1 wants a fit partner and as shallow as that sounds its normal
yes ma'am!
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3121
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#53
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It was your choice to date a fatty, a whale; whatever you want to call it. Now live with that choice!
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mrpoopoo
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get a upgrade
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Anonymous #1
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#55
(Original post by 3121)
It was your choice to date a fatty, a whale; whatever you want to call it. Now live with that choice!
Also a part of being in a relationship, is growth and development. Just because you date a cigarette smoker, means that when you guys get together you can't say anything or try to help them change for their health?
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kai'sa
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(Original post by angelinahx)
she said........ that her bf's size turns her off.........
ops bf was fat at start

she could've have dated him while she was


also @op . not being shallow/offensive but in my opinion i'd never date a fat girl simply because its unhealthy and its a turn off. so if you want ur bf to get fit/not fat surely 'pErSoAnLiTy' didnt turn on and make u date him.
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angelinahx
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#57
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(Original post by kai'sa)
ops bf was fat at start

she could've have dated him while she was


also @op . not being shallow/offensive but in my opinion i'd never date a fat girl simply because its unhealthy and its a turn off. so if you want ur bf to get fit/not fat surely 'pErSoAnLiTy' didnt turn on and make u date him.
people are allowed to change their minds sweetie
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Anonymous #4
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1. Wasn’t offering it regardless.
2. LOL completely opposite actually. You think I’m a guy cause i call out the double standards US females have? Incorrect
3. The point of my intial comment is he may not be happy with your Slim body. He may wish you were bigger and had more curves and I’m sure you wouldn’t like those kind of comments. You then jumped ship and changed body types reallll quick.
4. What is the post about?
5. No i don’t know. Because you haven’t offered any form of positive comments, you literally just listed his negatives and at NO stage dod you mention his health in your OP. Just his size. Two very different things. Ur post is literally called bfs SIZE turns me off. Maybe not being ‘subtle’ and just talk to him. I’m sure he’s very aware of his body and maybe he’s even waiting for you to try help him/talk to him about it. It may be the push he needs. You may not like my responses but thats probably cuz I’m not the one you should be discussing this with. He is.
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HumblyBumbly
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you aren't being judgemental ... being your size makes sense if you are hesitant about his size. Don't feel bad about your personal experience honestly!
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kai'sa
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#60
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(Original post by angelinahx)
people are allowed to change their minds sweetie
so if i date a fat girl and 'love her' nothing changes. shes still fat. if op likes him for her personality then she'd stay.

op just offer him a gym membership and go together. end of. if he doesnt want to, show him the door.
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