My first love?

The first guy I’ve ever loved. I thought that we were the lucky ones and that at one time we beat the odds. I would have my first love and my last love all in one person. Sadly, that didn’t work out. I still really love him and deeply care for him and even the thought of him with someone else makes me feel .. no words tbh. Will I always feel like this about him? Is it true you never forget your first love? That you will always compare your future relationships with this one? ‘The one that got away’? We broke up over the Summer, I guess he has a lot going on in his life, it was becoming too much. Sadly there wasn’t anything I could do to change his mind.
I still think about him all the time

I promise that after time, and when you enter new relationships, it will get better. You need to occupy your life with other things though to keep your mind off him until then. I know it hurts, but that pain will ebb I assure you.

The first guy I’ve ever loved. I thought that we were the lucky ones and that at one time we beat the odds. I would have my first love and my last love all in one person. Sadly, that didn’t work out. I still really love him and deeply care for him and even the thought of him with someone else makes me feel .. no words tbh. Will I always feel like this about him? Is it true you never forget your first love? That you will always compare your future relationships with this one? ‘The one that got away’? We broke up over the Summer, I guess he has a lot going on in his life, it was becoming too much. Sadly there wasn’t anything I could do to change his mind.
I still think about him all the time

The first guy I’ve ever loved. I thought that we were the lucky ones and that at one time we beat the odds. I would have my first love and my last love all in one person. Sadly, that didn’t work out. I still really love him and deeply care for him and even the thought of him with someone else makes me feel .. no words tbh. Will I always feel like this about him? Is it true you never forget your first love? That you will always compare your future relationships with this one? ‘The one that got away’? We broke up over the Summer, I guess he has a lot going on in his life, it was becoming too much. Sadly there wasn’t anything I could do to change his mind.
I still think about him all the time

You’re going to be ok, I went through this too. Got back together with him was honestly the worst thing I ever done. I thought I couldnt live without him but honestly you will start to realise why you break up and come to terms with it. You will meet someone better in the future. I hope this helps

Lord what a flashback to 5 years ago.. Literally to the day damn
I absolutely felt this way.
It does get better I promise. You won't always feel like this about him. I think it is true that you never forget your first love. And you compare everyone to them after. For a while at least, until you find someone better (I've not found that yet). But you recognise that this relationship, though completely real and valid, it was young (I'm guessing if it was your first it was a teenager one, but apologies if wrong) . You don't face the same trials and issues that you would in an adult relationship. That will be different. You see the past through rose coloured glasses.
You do learn to be satisfied that you've closed the book on that part of your life and that it was a great part but you're in the now.
I'm still friends with mine. I don't consider him as the one that got away. I realise in an adult relationship we would never work. But we still know and understand each other well enough that we can help each other and care about our happiness, including knowing that part of that will lie in other people.
Right now, I know it is such a deep ache and a struggle that you feel you won't get over or out of. But you will I promise. Focus on yourself, look after yourself, give yourself time to feel and accept that everything you feel matters.
You will be ok.

Thank you for this reassurance. You’re right my heart does ache right now but reading what you shared about your situation, it’s comforting knowing that I won’t always feel like this.


Is it bad that sometimes I wish it never happened with him? I love him but knowing we weren’t meant to be it hurts me so much it’s a wound that cuts deep. Why this heart ache? What do I have to learn about? I know I shouldn’t compare but some of my friends have never had this before and they always said what I had was special but the way it ended I feel like my friends are the lucky ones, to never not experience what I have..and you’re right it has been a teenage love. From early teens to late teens..

Are you actually me?? Seriously I have had these exact same thoughts. But if it wasn't so good then you wouldn't feel this bad. You learn to appreciate the good and that it was all worth it. It shapes you as a person.
Come back to this in 5 years. I have read through all the things that I wrote down at the time of heartache (pretty much exactly the same as this) and I feel so sad at how much I must have been hurting. It doesn't seem real. But it happened. And now I'm an older different person who is glad it happened because it was so beautiful!
It just takes time.