feeling overwhelmed and a bit sad, advice? Watch

pinesandapples2001
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So this is my second week of uni. I've been here (Netherlands) for almost a month now. My family is so many miles away, I'll only see them at Christmas. I estimate about 8 hours of homework I have to do tomorrow because its due Friday. The reading is so much, and then I have to take notes and it just takes forever.

I feel like nothing good has happened in the past week and there's nothing good to look forward to. The past week has been bad. Yesterday I got fined by the police because it was evening and my backlight of the cycle wasn't working. Today I just f*cked up my choir audition. I haven't been singing for 3 months and I'm usually a soprano but today I couldn't hit the high notes at all, my voice cracked every time I tried. It was so embarrassing and I really wish I'd practiced a bit before. Its just that I'm living in a student guesthouse and walls are thin. I really want to get in the choir, he gave me the sense that he knew I was nervous and he kinda reassured me but I don't know if he's going to accept me or not. It was so awful because I usually can sing fine.

And what about friends. I miss my high school and my friends and the easy life. Everyone is nice here, but I'm still trying to find the close friends, the real ones. I've kind of found a small crew, but I feel like I'm putting too much effort to be included in plans. They have a groupchat without me, and they make plans and only if I'm physically next to them and overhear them discussing the plans will they invite me to come along, but they wouldn't text me about it if they didn't see me you know? They're friendly and everything but... I don't know. I think maybe I'm just not so interesting, or I don't know how to make a conversation interesting.

I don't really know what to do. I can't talk to anyone in person about my problems. I've texted my friends back home but texting isn't the same. I feel stressed and a bit frustrated and "what am I doing with my life" often runs through my head. Any advice is helpful or if you've gone through a similar experience, please feel free to share. ❤️ Sorry for the rant.
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999tigger
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(Original post by pinesandapples2001)
So this is my second week of uni. I've been here (Netherlands) for almost a month now. My family is so many miles away, I'll only see them at Christmas. I estimate about 8 hours of homework I have to do tomorrow because its due Friday. The reading is so much, and then I have to take notes and it just takes forever.

I feel like nothing good has happened in the past week and there's nothing good to look forward to. The past week has been bad. Yesterday I got fined by the police because it was evening and my backlight of the cycle wasn't working. Today I just f*cked up my choir audition. I haven't been singing for 3 months and I'm usually a soprano but today I couldn't hit the high notes at all, my voice cracked every time I tried. It was so embarrassing and I really wish I'd practiced a bit before. Its just that I'm living in a student guesthouse and walls are thin. I really want to get in the choir, he gave me the sense that he knew I was nervous and he kinda reassured me but I don't know if he's going to accept me or not. It was so awful because I usually can sing fine.

And what about friends. I miss my high school and my friends and the easy life. Everyone is nice here, but I'm still trying to find the close friends, the real ones. I've kind of found a small crew, but I feel like I'm putting too much effort to be included in plans. They have a groupchat without me, and they make plans and only if I'm physically next to them and overhear them discussing the plans will they invite me to come along, but they wouldn't text me about it if they didn't see me you know? They're friendly and everything but... I don't know. I think maybe I'm just not so interesting, or I don't know how to make a conversation interesting.

I don't really know what to do. I can't talk to anyone in person about my problems. I've texted my friends back home but texting isn't the same. I feel stressed and a bit frustrated and "what am I doing with my life" often runs through my head. Any advice is helpful or if you've gone through a similar experience, please feel free to share. ❤️ Sorry for the rant.

Sorry cant give you a full answer at the moment.

How long are you there for and presumably you chose to go?

You need to be determined and strong.

Do something nice for yourself each day and take care of your MH.

1.Use skype to talk to people at home,. but sometimes it can make it worse
2. Do make effort to make friends either with dutch students or internationals.
3. Tell the choirmaster you would be happy to re- audition you were just rusty.
4. Bike thing happens just be more careful.
5. Stop trying so hard, just be chilled and determined you will cope, make the effort and things should fall into place.
6. Box sets and good food or books. Paddington 1 and 23 I think are cheery no matter how miserable or fragile.
7. Join some societies.Meet people smile and be sociable, friendships take time. Hide in your room and you wont meet new people.
8. Remind yourself why you chose to be there, the good experiences you want and how you will get them.
9. Start establishing routines so you get familiar with your new life.
10. Exercise, go for walks, practice the language.
https://www.savethestudent.org/inter...-sickness.html
https://www.goabroad.com/articles/ho...eling-homesick
https://www.gooverseas.com/blog/ways...ickness-abroad
https://www.prospects.ac.uk/applying...-feel-homesick

https://www.nopanic.org.uk/no-panic-youth-hub/
https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/
Depression and anxiety
https://depression.org.nz/is-it-depr...ety/self-test/
https://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/se...pdf/depression
https://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/se..._download/file
https://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/se...eafpdf/anxipan
https://www.mind.org.uk/media/199336...tress_2015.pdf
https://www.mind.org.uk/media/346963...19-web-pdf.pdf
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Seris
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You will be fine. I think you're just not used to everything being so easy since high school days. But am positive you will pull through. If you need someone to talk to or rant at you can always message people on this fourm who are happy to help. Have a great day (: ^.^ \0/
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pinesandapples2001
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Sorry cant give you a full answer at the moment.

How long are you there for and presumably you chose to go?

You need to be determined and strong.

Do something nice for yourself each day and take care of your MH.

1.Use skype to talk to people at home,. but sometimes it can make it worse
2. Do make effort to make friends either with dutch students or internationals.
3. Tell the choirmaster you would be happy to re- audition you were just rusty.
4. Bike thing happens just be more careful.
5. Stop trying so hard, just be chilled and determined you will cope, make the effort and things should fall into place.
6. Box sets and good food or books. Paddington 1 and 23 I think are cheery no matter how miserable or fragile.
7. Join some societies.Meet people smile and be sociable, friendships take time. Hide in your room and you wont meet new people.
8. Remind yourself why you chose to be there, the good experiences you want and how you will get them.
9. Start establishing routines so you get familiar with your new life.
10. Exercise, go for walks, practice the language.
https://www.savethestudent.org/inter...-sickness.html
https://www.goabroad.com/articles/ho...eling-homesick
https://www.gooverseas.com/blog/ways...ickness-abroad
https://www.prospects.ac.uk/applying...-feel-homesick

https://www.nopanic.org.uk/no-panic-youth-hub/
https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/
Depression and anxiety
https://depression.org.nz/is-it-depr...ety/self-test/
https://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/se...pdf/depression
https://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/se..._download/file
https://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/se...eafpdf/anxipan
https://www.mind.org.uk/media/199336...tress_2015.pdf
https://www.mind.org.uk/media/346963...19-web-pdf.pdf
Thank you so much, what you said and all the links are super helpful ❤️
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999tigger
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(Original post by pinesandapples2001)
Thank you so much, what you said and all the links are super helpful ❤️
If it gets bad drop me a message. Some people suffer a lot more than others especially if they havent been away from home or arent the most confident. A few knockbacks and everything seems pants. It is common and especially in a new country, some people cant overcome it.

Make a list of why you are there and things you want to achieve. You must have thought long and hard about going, so remind yourself why you are there. It isnt some terrible mistake. If it isnt as you imagined then the only person to change it is you. Make a list of small targets you can achieve, exploring, cooking, joining societies, meeting new people, getting a good mark, organising a night out, meeting more people. Push your boundaries a bit. Also have a crisis plan so when you get a setback, respond with something positive or remind yourself of a good thing or read something comforting or inspirational. It is up to you to make the nest of it. As you build your own life, then make sure there are nice things in it and rather than run home, tough it out, but keep building resilience and comfort for yourself. It is a matter of being determined and not running away or hiding, but trying your best to make things happen. If you get into choir then that will be a good thing. If worried go and ask for another audition and explain to the choir master its important and you just need a bit of practice. You can maximise your chances of a good outcome not by feeling defeated or hiding, but seeking out those new experiences and not being put off by knockbacks. Do it for yourself.
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