Is it illegal to tell someone to kill themselves? Watch

Anonymous #1
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Hi, this is actually a pretty long story but I'll try to keep it short

I'm a 20 year old male uni student. So this past year, I've been really struggling with managing my depression and anxiety. I usually keep things to myself but I decided to open up and told a couple of close friends about it which I don't regret because they were quite supportive with it however, there was one person who I shouldn't have trusted and we'll get to that later. Progressively, things got worse and I attempted suicide one time (Don't worry I'm in a much better place right now). A couple months later, I was having an argument with one of my friends over Facebook messenger, it was nothing serious, just a trivial matter. Then all of a sudden she randomly tries to use my mental health problems against me and tells me to kill myself (she knows of my past attempt), and this wasn't just once, she sent the same message about 20 times while telling me how worthless I was and how she hates me. Was completely shocked that someone who I trusted could just turn on me like that out of nowhere. Since then I have blocked her and cut her out of my life completely.

So now fast forward a couple of months, I'm feeling better than I have in a long time and have been managing things well. But it's been bugging me recently about what she said and how she tried to psychologically hurt me and the fact that she just got away with it. Another thing that alarms me is that she might do it to someone else who has the misfortune of trusting her. So I was wondering if anyone here has been through something similar, I don't know if I could report her through a service or something because I'd rather not call the police or anything and I also know where she works so I was thinking about contacting them. I have saved all the messages and screenshotted them as evidence.

Thank you
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Oxford Mum
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This is Avery irresponsible thing for your friend to do. Thank god you didn’t follow her suggestions.

Move on from this: you are a worthwhile person and if she wants to carry on doing this it is her problem

You may not be able to control her behaviour but can you report her to social media?
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Oxford Mum
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But not illegal I don’t think but if someone knows differently please post on this thread. Big hugs to you op xx
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TheRealSaifali
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It is not illegal to say to someone to kill themselves in itself, but it is illegal to encourage & provide support in doing so which leads to the person hurting themselves or worse.
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Delusion6
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didn't some girl in america get arrested for goading her boyfriend into killing himself?
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Andrew97
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I don’t know.

Firstly, you totally did the right thing by blocking her. Using somebodies mental health in an argument and telling them to “kill themsleves” multiple times is abhorrent. I respect your courage in dealing with that. Cut her out of your life, you don’t need her negativity.

I suppose you could report her if you wished, but again I’m not sure she broke any laws. Stay strong OP.
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks for the support everyone,

Couldn't find any laws about it myself but I appreciate the help
I think I might just contact her employer and let them know what kind of person they're employing
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by TheRealSaifali)
It is not illegal to say to someone to kill themselves in itself, but it is illegal to encourage & provide support in doing so which leads to the person hurting themselves or worse.
Well they specifically told me to overdose on the specific name of the medicine I was taking and repeated it around 20 times but I'm not sure if that is classed as encouraging. Also it could have easily lead to something bad if I listened and they could potentially try hurt someone else the same way as well which is my biggest concern.
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LadyMcCartney4
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what a horrible person.
it wouldn't harm to let her know that, if you subsequently killed yourself in the way that she said, she'd be arrested.
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Delovely
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, this is actually a pretty long story but I'll try to keep it short

I'm a 20 year old male uni student. So this past year, I've been really struggling with managing my depression and anxiety. I usually keep things to myself but I decided to open up and told a couple of close friends about it which I don't regret because they were quite supportive with it however, there was one person who I shouldn't have trusted and we'll get to that later. Progressively, things got worse and I attempted suicide one time (Don't worry I'm in a much better place right now). A couple months later, I was having an argument with one of my friends over Facebook messenger, it was nothing serious, just a trivial matter. Then all of a sudden she randomly tries to use my mental health problems against me and tells me to kill myself (she knows of my past attempt), and this wasn't just once, she sent the same message about 20 times while telling me how worthless I was and how she hates me. Was completely shocked that someone who I trusted could just turn on me like that out of nowhere. Since then I have blocked her and cut her out of my life completely.

So now fast forward a couple of months, I'm feeling better than I have in a long time and have been managing things well. But it's been bugging me recently about what she said and how she tried to psychologically hurt me and the fact that she just got away with it. Another thing that alarms me is that she might do it to someone else who has the misfortune of trusting her. So I was wondering if anyone here has been through something similar, I don't know if I could report her through a service or something because I'd rather not call the police or anything and I also know where she works so I was thinking about contacting them. I have saved all the messages and screenshotted them as evidence.

Thank you
Answers at the end...

Hi. I am a 48 year old mom. I was just looking for GCSE papers on this site for my daughter when I saw this post out of the corner of my eye. I am a South African lawyer and a part qualified solicitor of England and Wales. Firstly, I am glad that you are feeling better and in a better place. I suffered from anxiety and depression too (long story - grew up in a dysfunctional home) so there is nothing wrong with sharing this. Many people have been through a lot. It shows a great deal of strength on your part and emotional intelligence. I'm in a better place too, now. She sounds like a piece of work / a really destructive person who thrives on this and that's quite sick. You can generally trust people but some people are destroyers not builders in terms of everything they do?....they can't be very happy people....thriving on turmoil....messed up..

I am not a qualified solicitor so this is not legal advice. I understand that you want to stand up for yourself and say you know what...., that was not okay. That's healthy, because you deserve better and no-one deserves that. I can hear that you are angry too and rightly so.

This is a personal and potentially a criminal and civil matter too. Don't contact her work, it has nothing to do with them? Be the bigger person and show her you are in control? You don't want revenge (getting her fired - they probably won't listen to you in any event unless she works with "vulnerable people" or children) but you can go about dealing with this the right way with a clear mind even if it's just to make her sweat a bit.

Harassment is a criminal offence punishable by up to 6 months in prison. They just need to do it more than twice and where she intends to cause you alarm or distress, knowing that this will cause you alarm or distress / oppressing you, its really an open and shut case. You would have to go to the police and lay a charge unfortunately. Trolling is also a criminal offence. People can't just say and do what they want (psychological attack) and cause psychiatric upset and injury.

HOWEVER, If you don't want to go to the police you can take civil action. Cease and desist is no longer required as she stopped, but you could sue (even if she has not been found guilty of a criminal offence). You could claim compensation if this aggravated your anxiety and caused emotional distress and psychiatrict upset - she clearly intended for this to be the desired effect as she knew about your back ground (a GP etc needs to confirm this in writing to establish a causal link at that moment in time). Any associated financial loss could be included or did you have to pay for counselling etc. I think the maximum you could claim for compensation is £1000 in the small claims court even though their cap is normally £10 000 for all other matters. It costs £60 to do this online on the small claims website. You get it back from her if you win. You need her name and address and you would need to read the protection from harassment act 1997. You can represent yourself and it's really simple to do it online. Need to do it within 6 years. If you do this do not speak to her at the pre-liminary hearing only the judge. In the form make it clear that you are asking for the maximum of £1000 compensation. I don't think they will require you to send her a letter before claim (need to consider your safety), but you can ask the citizens advice bureau about that or legal aid at your university could assist you.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. You have good friends and steer clear of her. She seems like a dangerous black hole.

If she said that to anyone else and they listened to her and did it because of her she could be charged with manslaughter or murder under joint enterprise principles. She did nothing but was involved....inciting or assisting with a crime (murder / manslaughter)....Up to life in prison

Please take care of yourself
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