Growing up without a dad - how has it impacted you? Watch

KimmyKim96
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I would say I've lived quite a good life growing up. Although I was raised in a one parent household, I've never felt like I lacked. I still don't feel that way but sometimes I wonder how things would be different.

Sometimes I wonder if the absence of my dad is the reason why I struggle to maintain a friendships with guys (plus the fact I went to an all girls school). If I needed a male opinion on something right now, I would struggle to find someone I'm comfortable with to have that conversation.

Looking back, I've never actually had and maintained a male friend - even with me being quite down to earth and chilled.

What about you guys?
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My dad walked out when I was about 5 and wasn't interested in staying in seeing me. My mother then met my stepdad when I was 8. At first we got on ok but after a year or two he turned against me and since then we have had a really volotile relationship. I can't rely on him and most of the time I'm convinced he doesn't even like me. I was bullied badly in the last 2 years of secondary school and I often felt like I had bully's at school and then was going home to a bully too.
I'm 26 and even though I rent my own place, pay my bills, have worked before and now going to uni, whenever I'm around my stepdad, I feel like I'm 10 years old again.
It has impacted my life a lot even though I don't often think about it. I'm very self conscious, I have a lot of social anxiety and anxiety in general and to be honest, I don't really like myself at all and I feel like I'm worthless.
I have a bad track record with men and have had abusive boyfriends in the past. My stepdad has never stood up for me, or been angry on my behalf or comforted me in any way.
I know this is all miniscule compared to how bad some people have it with their parents and I'm lucky that I have a good relationship with my mother and brothers, but I often find myself sad and envious of other girls who have loving relationships with their fathers. I never felt protected.

Even though we have different stories OP, I know for certain not having a good father figure has affected how I am now. I often wonder how I would have been had I simply grown up without any father at all.
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Airmed
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I didn't grow up without a dad, I grew up without a mum. Parents divorced when I was young and my daddy won custody and my mother walked out, never to be seen again. It's been 16 years since I last saw her.

Definitely did impact me, everyone assumes it's your mum who raises you, so it does raise a few eyebrows when I make all mention of my daddy and no mentjon of mother. I don't really know what it's like to have a normal family or a normal relationship with a parent, I'm still learning that.
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Zain_Ahmed
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(Original post by KimmyKim96)
I would say I've lived quite a good life growing up. Although I was raised in a one parent household, I've never felt like I lacked. I still don't feel that way but sometimes I wonder how things would be different.

Sometimes I wonder if the absence of my dad is the reason why I struggle to maintain a friendships with guys (plus the fact I went to an all girls school). If I needed a male opinion on something right now, I would struggle to find someone I'm comfortable with to have that conversation.

Looking back, I've never actually had and maintained a male friend - even with me being quite down to earth and chilled.

What about you guys?
In most cases, The mother is the parent who provides comfort is usually the mother, and the father is usually the parent who has a role of playing with the child.. In your case, your mother is the primary parent (Who spends most time with you).. So she gives you most of the aspects which build your personality... You lack(ed) a father figure in your life, who was a secondary parent, so it wouldn't really effect you as much as you never attached to him.. Making sense?

But some people could have been born with a father and left when the child was at a young age.. Which can be more devistaing as the child had possoble attached to the father...

Having a male friend isn't nessecarily to do with lacking a father.. Maybe lacking men in your life in total may be the reason... As you can lack a father but have other males in your life, so it wouldn't effect you as much...

Well done to your mum, it's very hard to do both play and comfort as a single parent
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Zain_Ahmed
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(Original post by Airmed)

everyone assumes it's your mum who raises you
Ye.. That's why I hate stereotypes... A father can do just as much, or even better than a mother.. It all depends on how much they love you and not what gender they are..
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