My boyfriend moving in with me at uni? Watch

Anonymous #1
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I’m moving into the Vale Village at University of Birmingham this year for the first time and was wondering if my boyfriend could move in with me if he works somewhere in Birmingham. Are the uni ok with that/him staying every night?
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Anonymous #2
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might be worth asking your uni accommodation on their policy on that. they probably wont like him staying every night, it's also not fair on your other flatmates to have to deal with your boyfriend too. he would definitely be expected to contribute towards rent etc but even then, it's not what they signed up for. why dont you and your bf just find your own separate flat then?
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Interea
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The contract says you can have a guest stay for 2 consecutive nights maximum, with the permission of your flatmates... So it doesn't seem likely that it is allowed to bring someone else in who is using the utilities and facilities without paying any more than your flatmates.
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gutenberg
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m moving into the Vale Village at University of Birmingham this year for the first time and was wondering if my boyfriend could move in with me if he works somewhere in Birmingham. Are the uni ok with that/him staying every night?
Don't do it. If he ends up getting a job in Birmingham, then find someone to take over your room and find a flat with your boyfriend. Imposing your boyfriend on your flatmates full-time, without him contributing to the rent or utilities, is unfair on your flatmates, plus the fact that they didn't sign up to live with both of you - just you. I lived with someone who basically moved her boyfriend in, and it drove everyone crazy: there simply isn't enough space in typical student flats for extra people, and it does impact on the other housemates.
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Anonymous #3
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This makes me glad I didn’t choose uni halls.
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AvSpeedCheck
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What planet are you on? It's definitely NOT OK!
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StriderHort
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Yeah expect folk to be annoyed if he basically moves in, infringes on everyone's space and raises a lot of financial and liability issues.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m moving into the Vale Village at University of Birmingham this year for the first time and was wondering if my boyfriend could move in with me if he works somewhere in Birmingham. Are the uni ok with that/him staying every night?
No it’s not ok as your boyfriend is not ok. The reason students don’t pay council tax is because they’re exempt. Meaning the halls providers do not have to pay council tax on the building. Having non students live there completely changes that. Are you willing to pay the council tax for the whole building just because you want to move your bf in? No... i didn’t think so. Stop being immature, you’re going to uni. Your bf can visit twice a week like everyone else guests have to. Would you like it if your flatmates all brought their partners to live in the already cramped flat? Do you think anyone wants to listen to your arguments or lovey dovey moments? If you want to live with him, rent privately.
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Anonymous #4
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I meant your bf is not a student****
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leiecon
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Is this post a joke? Of course your BF can't stay FOR FREE at the expense of your flatmates. Your flat mates pay a higher price specifically because there are FIVE people in the flat. If your BF is the 6th, then the other FIVE should pay 1/6 LESS than their current payment. Plus its not fair that your BF take space up , such as fridges, toilets and bathroom etc. If I was your flat mate, I would report you as soon as I can. Grow up, you're going uni not there to start a family
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bigbootyjay
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why didn’t you book private accommodation or something sorry to say but I don’t think I would be comfortable paying money to stay somewhere and have to deal with my flat mates boyfriend walking in and out.thats not okay and i don’t think ur uni will be fine with that
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fefssdf
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in my second year of uni my housemate had her boyfriend permanently living with her in my shared house and it made everything so much worse cause they'd both leave dishes out ect, took up more space in the cupboards, made tonnes of noise and wouldn't clean up either. It simply isn't fair on your fellow housemates to always have another person over. If you really can't handle not seeing your boyfriend every morning and evening then I suggest arranging private accommodation so you can live together. You could find someone else to take your room.
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DrSocSciences
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Boyfriends moving into student halls is a no go. Use this year to re-evaluate the personal and social dimensions of your life, rather than importing those into your new lifestage, to the inconvenience of your peer group. Just no.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by fefssdf)
in my second year of uni my housemate had her boyfriend permanently living with her in my shared house and it made everything so much worse cause they'd both leave dishes out ect, took up more space in the cupboards, made tonnes of noise and wouldn't clean up either. It simply isn't fair on your fellow housemates to always have another person over. If you really can't handle not seeing your boyfriend every morning and evening then I suggest arranging private accommodation so you can live together. You could find someone else to take your room.
Very surprised you didn’t report them. This is the exact reason I’m paying more to rent a studio. If OP cant survive without seeing her bf every single day, then they have issues and thats a relationship that will fizzle out real quick. She also said and if he works in birmingham. My guess is he doesn’t even have a job lined up. He’ll just be a bum occupying her room 24/7. Wouldn’t even surprise me if they’ve been together for like a week but are ‘madly in love’
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fefssdf
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Very surprised you didn’t report them. This is the exact reason I’m paying more to rent a studio. If OP cant survive without seeing her bf every single day, then they have issues and thats a relationship that will fizzle out real quick. She also said and if he works in birmingham. My guess is he doesn’t even have a job lined up. He’ll just be a bum occupying her room 24/7. Wouldn’t even surprise me if they’ve been together for like a week but are ‘madly in love’
the main reason I didn't report him is that basically I hadn't met the people in the house before I moved in and it was me and 6 others, and all the others were fine about the couple situation and were mates and since I didn't really get on with any of them I didn't wanna make house dynamics even more tense by reporting him... I basically just avoided the house as the year went on and would leave at around 10:30am and wouldn't be back till around 10pm. Yeh I agree, and tbh a sign of a strong solid relationship is whether you can get through changes such as moving to university where you will have to be accommodating with regards to things like how often you can sleep round each others houses. If other couples can manage long-distance being at different uni's i'm sure you guys can handle being in the same city and not sleeping together 7 days a week. It is also worth thinking about the financial element too as if you guys are effectively living together you need to think about how you'll manage the rent and the bills, and things like the food cost ect. if you have a lot of student finance but your bf isn't getting much work then that could make things hard. It would be wise to have more of an in depth chat about the situation now so that you can prepare for whichever circumstance you end up in. I wish you luck OP.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by fefssdf)
the main reason I didn't report him is that basically I hadn't met the people in the house before I moved in and it was me and 6 others, and all the others were fine about the couple situation and were mates and since I didn't really get on with any of them I didn't wanna make house dynamics even more tense by reporting him... I basically just avoided the house as the year went on and would leave at around 10:30am and wouldn't be back till around 10pm. Yeh I agree, and tbh a sign of a strong solid relationship is whether you can get through changes such as moving to university where you will have to be accommodating with regards to things like how often you can sleep round each others houses. If other couples can manage long-distance being at different uni's i'm sure you guys can handle being in the same city and not sleeping together 7 days a week. It is also worth thinking about the financial element too as if you guys are effectively living together you need to think about how you'll manage the rent and the bills, and things like the food cost ect. if you have a lot of student finance but your bf isn't getting much work then that could make things hard. It would be wise to have more of an in depth chat about the situation now so that you can prepare for whichever circumstance you end up in. I wish you luck OP.
Sorry to hear that, it sounds like a very awkward, unfair year for you. You were paying just as much to live there, yet spent as little time as possible in there because of the dynamics. I myself personally wouldn’t have put up with it at all, but i also know some people don’t like confrontation, so i understand where you’re coming from.

Exactly. If she wants to burden herself with the financial difficulties which come with living with her bf then fine. But don’t bring it into halls. Thats just a piss take
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BlueDiamonds
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No it’s not ok as your boyfriend is not ok. The reason students don’t pay council tax is because they’re exempt. Meaning the halls providers do not have to pay council tax on the building. Having non students live there completely changes that. Are you willing to pay the council tax for the whole building just because you want to move your bf in? No... i didn’t think so. Stop being immature, you’re going to uni. Your bf can visit twice a week like everyone else guests have to. Would you like it if your flatmates all brought their partners to live in the already cramped flat? Do you think anyone wants to listen to your arguments or lovey dovey moments? If you want to live with him, rent privately.
Exactly this.
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fefssdf
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry to hear that, it sounds like a very awkward, unfair year for you. You were paying just as much to live there, yet spent as little time as possible in there because of the dynamics. I myself personally wouldn’t have put up with it at all, but i also know some people don’t like confrontation, so i understand where you’re coming from.

Exactly. If she wants to burden herself with the financial difficulties which come with living with her bf then fine. But don’t bring it into halls. Thats just a piss take
yeh I mean it was two years ago now and I had a really positive third year house experience so that somewhat made up for it! it was a really awful year in general and so I just didn't wanna be around most people and hence why I decided to just ignore the house basically and just used it to sleep,shower, and eat pretty much. I would just wake up at say 10am, have some food, then head out and grab some cheap stuff in sainsbury's on the way to campus and then basically just stay on campus from around 11-9/10pm each day so that I could avoid my housemates.
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Quick-use
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m moving into the Vale Village at University of Birmingham this year for the first time and was wondering if my boyfriend could move in with me if he works somewhere in Birmingham. Are the uni ok with that/him staying every night?
Definitely don't do this. It's not fair on all of your housemates as your boyfriend will essentially be staying for free and none of them came into the accommodation knowing that there would be an extra member living with them.

For you now it might not be a big deal, but it really wouldn't sit well with your housemates.
Last edited by Quick-use; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by fefssdf)
yeh I mean it was two years ago now and I had a really positive third year house experience so that somewhat made up for it! it was a really awful year in general and so I just didn't wanna be around most people and hence why I decided to just ignore the house basically and just used it to sleep,shower, and eat pretty much. I would just wake up at say 10am, have some food, then head out and grab some cheap stuff in sainsbury's on the way to campus and then basically just stay on campus from around 11-9/10pm each day so that I could avoid my housemates.
Well yes very glad to hear the 3rd year was alot different. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their home. Which is why people being selfish and doing things for their own gain, like OPs suggestion, just isn’t on. Glad you ended your uni experience on a high though
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