20 year old virgin

Im 20 and still a virgin and also havent kissed anyone yet. im really insecure about myself and the way i look. recently started dating, met this guy but he doesnt want a serious relationship. he invited me over to his house after meeting once, im really nervous to have sex with him. what if he thinks im ugly or what if im not good enough or what if he doesnt like inexperienced people :frown:

. from what we talked about on the first meeting he has a lot of experience but i havent even kissed anyone yet! i used to be to depressed to allow anyone close to me and also the insecurities really effects me. does anyone have suggestions of what i should do?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Im 20 and still a virgin and also havent kissed anyone yet. im really insecure about myself and the way i look. recently started dating, met this guy but he doesnt want a serious relationship. he invited me over to his house after meeting once, im really nervous to have sex with him. what if he thinks im ugly or what if im not good enough or what if he doesnt like inexperienced people :frown:

. from what we talked about on the first meeting he has a lot of experience but i havent even kissed anyone yet! i used to be to depressed to allow anyone close to me and also the insecurities really effects me. does anyone have suggestions of what i should do?

if youd rather wait for someone you're in a serious relationship with then do that. dont feel like you have to do anything you might not be ready for just to fit society's 'norm'. if he does think that then hes not the one! however if its something you're ready for and really want to do then use protection, and just dont overthink it. try to let things happen as naturally as possible. if you feel comfortable enough you could try talking to him about it?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

if youd rather wait for someone you're in a serious relationship with then do that. dont feel like you have to do anything you might not be ready for just to fit society's 'norm'. if he does think that then hes not the one! however if its something you're ready for and really want to do then use protection, and just dont overthink it. try to let things happen as naturally as possible. if you feel comfortable enough you could try talking to him about it?

i guess ur right. i feel a little pressured cause im the only freakin virgin in my friend group or social circle. everyone has had girlfriends or boyfriends or **** buddies. and im like a nun or something. i barely know this guy but he seems nice, i think it would make it even more awkward if i talk to him about it. but i will tell him im a virgin and whatever. i kinda already know if i start something i might get hurt but im tired of being judged. i just wanna be "normal"
:dong:

is that so hard?

Reply 3

SteveyStack

17

Original post by Anonymous

i guess ur right. i feel a little pressured cause im the only freakin virgin in my friend group or social circle. everyone has had girlfriends or boyfriends or **** buddies. and im like a nun or something. i barely know this guy but he seems nice, i think it would make it even more awkward if i talk to him about it. but i will tell him im a virgin and whatever. i kinda already know if i start something i might get hurt but im tired of being judged. i just wanna be "normal"
:dong:

is that so hard?

Losing your virginity is overrated but I lost mine for a similar reason to you. I’m sure you can find someone who wants to take it slower and get more involved if you want but if you have decided now is the time don’t get too attached as he has made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship

Reply 4

Jackkkw

4

Attachment not found

Original post by Anonymous

i feel a little pressured cause im the only freakin virgin in my friend group or social circle.

Reply 5

Amon-ster

14

There's alot more virgins in their 20s than you think.

Reply 6

Analyst89

20

You say you are insecure with the way you look.

Why not improve that? Exercise, have a healthy diet, get some rest, change your outlook.

State your insecurities and write down how you can improve them.

You should also see your gp regarding your depression.

Reply 7

Jake_Bootland1

2

Ok, so any decent guy would value you for you and take things as slow as you want to go. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed to tell him if you don’t like anything, or even to ask him to try something. I know how you feel, I’ve been with girls who are in the same situation as you, and it’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just as human as everyone else. The best thing you can do is go with your gut feeling and get to know him before you decide you want to do anything with him. He should understand, but if he doesn’t then he’s a waste of time. Be proud of who you are, and embrace who you are. It’s that phrase of “your time will come”, and it’s true because it will come one day.

Reply 8

cheesecakelove

20

Original post by Anonymous

Im 20 and still a virgin and also havent kissed anyone yet. im really insecure about myself and the way i look. recently started dating, met this guy but he doesnt want a serious relationship. he invited me over to his house after meeting once, im really nervous to have sex with him. what if he thinks im ugly or what if im not good enough or what if he doesnt like inexperienced people :frown:

. from what we talked about on the first meeting he has a lot of experience but i havent even kissed anyone yet! i used to be to depressed to allow anyone close to me and also the insecurities really effects me. does anyone have suggestions of what i should do?

Don't rush into having sex just for the sake of losing your virginity. It seems like the guy doesn't love you genuinely for who you are if he isn't interested in a serious relationship. If you find someone you really like and who likes you back, and you are in a stable and loving relationship - this is the best environment to lose your virginity. Together you can work through your fears and worries, take things slow and the first time you have sex will be more meaningful.

Honestly, being a virgin at 20 isn't such a bad thing. A lot of people lose their virginity later in life, and you shouldn't fall down to pressure to rush into anything. Do what is right for you. Focus on your self-confidence and improving your insecurities to get yourself into a better position.

20 year old virgin

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