My boyfriend has gone to uni. Watch

Cornishpastiess
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So my boyfriend went to uni. We’re pretty close and spent every day together before he left. He’s quite mellow and was never the type to go out drinking much. We really love each other, and we’ve said that we’ll try to make it work. He assured me he’d make plenty of time to keep in contact, but since he’s been I’ve hardly heard from him...and when I do he’s telling me about how he’s drunk at a club or a party, or how a girl came onto him. I’m so so glad he’s having a good time and that he’s making friends, I’m so proud of him. But I’m so worried he’ll soon forget about me, and even possibly replace me. He’s told me this wouldn’t happen and I feel like he does really love me. But I feel so selfish, like I’m holding him back from having one night stands and all the stuff that people do at uni... Everyone is telling me he will soon forget about me and that uni changes everyone. I feel so nervous about loosing him. Will his eyes wonder? Do you think he would eventually change his mind about staying with me? Other people who have been in this position, from both sides, please give me your experience...thanks guys!
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999tigger
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(Original post by Cornishpastiess)
So my boyfriend went to uni. We’re pretty close and spent every day together before he left. He’s quite mellow and was never the type to go out drinking much. We really love each other, and we’ve said that we’ll try to make it work. He assured me he’d make plenty of time to keep in contact, but since he’s been I’ve hardly heard from him...and when I do he’s telling me about how he’s drunk at a club or a party, or how a girl came onto him. I’m so so glad he’s having a good time and that he’s making friends, I’m so proud of him. But I’m so worried he’ll soon forget about me, and even possibly replace me. He’s told me this wouldn’t happen and I feel like he does really love me. But I feel so selfish, like I’m holding him back from having one night stands and all the stuff that people do at uni... Everyone is telling me he will soon forget about me and that uni changes everyone. I feel so nervous about loosing him. Will his eyes wonder? Do you think he would eventually change his mind about staying with me? Other people who have been in this position, from both sides, please give me your experience...thanks guys!
It can happen either way as you will have several relationships through life.
I think from your position is dont make yourself a captive victim to him.

Get on with your life and see how hard the works to stay in touch. hes bound to be excited in the beginning, but if he doesnt make the effort in these early stages, then do you think he will in 12 months time. Things should be settling after six weeks and then he might decide he wants to continue or he does not.

In the meantime you get on with your life, studies and whatever else is going on. Be patient and dont chase him, let him make his own mind up as can you.
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CTLeafez
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(Original post by Cornishpastiess)
But I feel so selfish, like I’m holding him back from having one night stands and all the stuff that people do at uni...
This is a very curious thing to think. Do you see your relationship to him as a negative then? Surely the benefits of him being in a relationship with you would outweigh the "benefits" he'd get at University.

Starting at University is a very significant and exciting event in one's life, give him a little slack and let him have fun and socialising during his freshers week. Afterwards though, you could send him a text/call him saying you want to discuss your concerns at a point when he isn't busy.

Hopefully he'll then put some time aside for you two to have a proper conversation about your worries over the lack of communication etc.

To be completely honest, while some relationships do survive the transition from college/Sixth Form to University, most fail at one point or another. It is the same coming out the other side with the University to Graduate Life transition. Your best bet is to keep calm for now and then figure out with your boyfriend what the future honestly holds for you two.
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