Becoming a little obsessed with Tinder

So, I will admit. I think I am. And this is not around hook-ups or whatnot because I've never successfully been able to meet someone on there. Most people just seem to be 'All talk, no action' It always just ends up remaining in the talking stage, no progression.

I only got tinder back in April. I did so because my mates thought it would be good for my confidence--they kinda assumed that it would be good for a bit of fun, raise my confidence and then I'd delete it.

From it I got speaking to one guy for 5 weeks before he ghosted me before we were supposed to go on a date and then the second guy, we ended up speaking for a month and a bit until things just deflated [you might be familiar with this guy from my last posts, he was a complete di*k head].

I won't lie, tinder has been good for my confidence. It gives me that same confidence I have in clubs when I'm meeting guys there cause I'm pissed and have this confidence.

But, now, that this recent development has happened. I'm still reluctant to just delete the app despite its toxicity and my mate has told me to. She'd told me I've become obsessed with it. And it's true.

I just need to get rid of it but I can't. It's pathetic. I need to be focusing on myself, forget trying to so hard to meet someone. But I feel like I won't meet anyone if I'm not actively looking. But the thing is, that's a lie because I met someone at a work's do, they were clearly interested in me, told me so but I'm just not into them. So, of course, tinder shouldn't be my only option.

I just need some advice, tips to knock me out of this obsession.

Reply 1

Retired_Messiah

21

It's normal to get a little bit engrossed in the first months of having it - my flatmate had a different tinder bird round every few days at one point. But it's clear that it's done as much for you as it's going to do - it's gained you the confidence you wanted, but it seems to be doing nothing to help you actually meet people.

Whether you think you should 'actively look' or not, tinder right now is not helping you actively look.

Reply 2

Ilovebeef19

OP

11

Original post by Retired_Messiah

It's normal to get a little bit engrossed in the first months of having it - my flatmate had a different tinder bird round every few days at one point. But it's clear that it's done as much for you as it's going to do - it's gained you the confidence you wanted, but it seems to be doing nothing to help you actually meet people.

Whether you think you should 'actively look' or not, tinder right now is not helping you actively look.

Yep. Like you say, I suppose if I were just looking for a hook-up, it would be the route to go but attempting to meet people on there who genuinely want to get to know me, seems rather slim. And yes, it has given me confidence. It's just frustrating that I haven't been able to meet these guys.

Reply 3

username4933904

16

Original post by Ilovebeef19

Yep. Like you say, I suppose if I were just looking for a hook-up, it would be the route to go but attempting to meet people on there who genuinely want to get to know me, seems rather slim. And yes, it has given me confidence. It's just frustrating that I haven't been able to meet these guys.