split up with bf for uni now hes found someone else and im hurting Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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I broke up with my bf at the end of A levels because I was going to uni and he planned to go into work I felt there was no point being tied down as I was going to uni an hour away, anyway I the first few days I got chatting to people but I feel very homesick and now wondering if im making mistake going to uni. I messaged my ex saying can we meet up soon and maybe try again but I got a message back saying he has found someone else and says we can only be friends as he really likes this new girl. I sat and cried all night I felt so alone I feel so stupid now for ending it with him. Will they last? should I plead and tell him I will never let him down again?
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Anonymous #2
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Report 4 weeks ago
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You made your bed, now you lie in it. If you have any feelings for him, you will have to respect that he's moved on.
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jsg9
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#3
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What did you think would happen when you decided to end it? The end of A levels would have been a good few months by now, and only after you've perhaps felt a bit lonely at uni you've decided to message him?

Sounds like you didn't care enough about the relationship at the time to want to/try to make it work when you started uni and now you're disappointed your backup option isn't actually an available backup. It doesn't matter if they last or not, what gives you the right to try and break them up after he told you he is only open to friendship and really likes this person? An hour away is not the end of the world, and breaking up with him because you didn't want to be "tied down" shows your feelings towards him and the relationship. Sounds like grass is greener syndrome, but having explored new pastures you've decided the patch you had wasn't all that bad.

Let him go, move on. Probably you're just a bit lonely at the minute which is confusing your feelings. You wanted to end the relationship for a reason, that has consequences. I'm sure when you ended it you thought the positive consequences outweighed the negative ones.

Aside from that, it's normal for lots of people to feel homesick in the first few weeks of starting uni. Explore your interests, try and make new friends, new experiences, and do whatever it was you wanted to do that you felt a relationship would have held you back from. It will help you move on and feel less homesick.
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DrawTheLine
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#4
Report 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I broke up with my bf at the end of A levels because I was going to uni and he planned to go into work I felt there was no point being tied down as I was going to uni an hour away, anyway I the first few days I got chatting to people but I feel very homesick and now wondering if im making mistake going to uni. I messaged my ex saying can we meet up soon and maybe try again but I got a message back saying he has found someone else and says we can only be friends as he really likes this new girl. I sat and cried all night I felt so alone I feel so stupid now for ending it with him. Will they last? should I plead and tell him I will never let him down again?
It shows that you weren't really invested in the relationship if you ended it because a) you were an hour away (which is no distance at all) and b) you thought he was keeping you tied down. If you really loved and cared for him, then you'd be willing to put in the effort to make it work and you wouldn't view your relationship like this.

He has found someone who seemingly is better for him and makes him happy, and there's nothing you can do. What did you expect him to do - wait for you to change your mind? I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but this is the reality now.

You need to let him go and move on. Don't go begging to him as that won't make you look good.
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