Mum going behind my back with uni Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
Ok so I needed to pay my accommodation deposit but didn't want to cos wasn't sure if I wanted to go. Mum kept saying she was going to phone up and pay. I tried to tell her several times no, explained, also said it wouldn't be an issue if not paid today etc. She was all stressed, shouting. We were on a day out and she walked off to go and call them. I had told her several times not to. But I am exhausted of this. I wasn't going to chase after her or try and snatch the phone out of her hands. I tried my best to stop her and ultimately if she was still going to go behind my back- that is her decision. I am just so fed up of her getting involved in my life like that. just f off please??? We get on well sometimes but I'm fed up of her not respecting me enough to listen to me and stay out of things. The same thing happened the other week when she signed onto my contract and accepted it (it is legally binding as well) behind my back. I'm so pissed off because she keeps doing things like this. I know I am late deciding but she just needs to leave me to it and let me learn. Going behind my back and doing that isn't the way forward and now if I don't go she has to pay 8 weeks rent (£1000). I could have tried harder to stop her which I did last time when she signed it but I'm fed up of her stupid behaviour and not going to emotionally exhaust myself just because she's an idiot.
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bones-mccoy
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#2
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I think I said this on your other post but stop telling her things!! Password protect all your usernames/passwords and keep information from her if she can use it to make decisions for you. She's put you in a really ****ty position, you now feel obliged to go to university because she'll have wasted her money if you don't go - but that's her problem. If it turns out she did waste her money then that's her own fault. She shouldn't have got involved and she'll have to deal with the consequences herself.

In future I would have as little contact with her as possible. Once you start backing away, not telling her things about your life, not letting her privy to certain things, she'll wonder why and she'll have to confront her own behaviour. Children and young adults will always end up resenting pushy, controlling parents.
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Anonymous #1
#3
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
I think I said this on your other post but stop telling her things!! Password protect all your usernames/passwords and keep information from her if she can use it to make decisions for you. She's put you in a really ****ty position, you now feel obliged to go to university because she'll have wasted her money if you don't go - but that's her problem. If it turns out she did waste her money then that's her own fault. She shouldn't have got involved and she'll have to deal with the consequences herself.

In future I would have as little contact with her as possible. Once you start backing away, not telling her things about your life, not letting her privy to certain things, she'll wonder why and she'll have to confront her own behaviour. Children and young adults will always end up resenting pushy, controlling parents.
She has access to my email and things from times I've been at work and been like "oh can you email this person for me" but I have been looking into going onto her laptop and logging her out and everything. She has my best intentions at heart (worried about me making a big mistake. I've been thinking about this for MONTHS as well)... but she is pissing me off big time. I've just had my mind occupied with other things so haven't managed to block her etc. yet. Yep, that's what i'm going to do. When I go to uni (don't seem to have much choice now. I was in 2 minds as it is so might as well just go) I'm blocking her number so she can't call or text me.
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OR321
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I wonder what your mums doing since she wants you out the house so bad lmao.
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Anonymous #2
#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She has access to my email and things from times I've been at work and been like "oh can you email this person for me" but I have been looking into going onto her laptop and logging her out and everything. She has my best intentions at heart (worried about me making a big mistake. I've been thinking about this for MONTHS as well)... but she is pissing me off big time. I've just had my mind occupied with other things so haven't managed to block her etc. yet. Yep, that's what i'm going to do. When I go to uni (don't seem to have much choice now. I was in 2 minds as it is so might as well just go) I'm blocking her number so she can't call or text me.
super weird that she has access to your email. blocking her number seems a bit extreme, just dont let her use your online accounts.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
super weird that she has access to your email. blocking her number seems a bit extreme, just dont let her use your online accounts.
I mean it's not that weird tbh. I gave it to her once and since then when I get an email it flashes up. I'm going to make sure she logs tf though asap. Nah she has been treating my really badly recently. She is emotionally manipulative too and deserves to be blocked.
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She has access to my email and things from times I've been at work and been like "oh can you email this person for me" but I have been looking into going onto her laptop and logging her out and everything. She has my best intentions at heart (worried about me making a big mistake. I've been thinking about this for MONTHS as well)... but she is pissing me off big time. I've just had my mind occupied with other things so haven't managed to block her etc. yet. Yep, that's what i'm going to do. When I go to uni (don't seem to have much choice now. I was in 2 minds as it is so might as well just go) I'm blocking her number so she can't call or text me.
I totally understand, my mum has always been controlling. She's chilled out as I've gradually got older but still likes trying to tell me what to do when it's not warranted. I'd still talk to her if you were you, I don't see much of a reason to cut her off completely and it could damage your relationship beyond repair, but definitely don't tell her as much you used to, don't give her details about your life or what's going on. And definitely change the password to your email.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
I totally understand, my mum has always been controlling. She's chilled out as I've gradually got older but still likes trying to tell me what to do when it's not warranted. I'd still talk to her if you were you, I don't see much of a reason to cut her off completely and it could damage your relationship beyond repair, but definitely don't tell her as much you used to, don't give her details about your life or what's going on. And definitely change the password to your email.
Ok I won't completely block her but when I go to uni I'm going to give blunt replies and not call her up for weeks. She probably won't care cos she doesn't like me anyway but after a while she'll probably be worried and wonder why I'm not calling her. I'm not going to tell her anything about what I'm up to, how it's going et.c.
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Anonymous #3
#9
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You sound very immature. You ask your mum to email for you, from your account, but you resnt her "interference" - ie paying for your education, and you are going to block her, ignore her, be rude when she tries to contact you. It takes two to have this sort of relationship. Grow up, set up and manage your own accounts, if you accept financial help from your mum do so gracefully, explain calmly what your plans are and work hard. If you are over 18 nobody is "making" you do anything any more. Own your own behaviour and your own actions.
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You sound very immature. You ask your mum to email for you, from your account, but you resnt her "interference" - ie paying for your education, and you are going to block her, ignore her, be rude when she tries to contact you. It takes two to have this sort of relationship. Grow up, set up and manage your own accounts, if you accept financial help from your mum do so gracefully, explain calmly what your plans are and work hard. If you are over 18 nobody is "making" you do anything any more. Own your own behaviour and your own actions.
Yeah I am immature. When I asked her to email was a once off. I was working- I couldn't send someone a long email. I said to her calmly DO NOT pay my deposit, and she did it anyway. Wait what did I say she was 'making' me do?
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Drewski
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I mean it's not that weird tbh. I gave it to her once and since then when I get an email it flashes up. I'm going to make sure she logs tf though asap. Nah she has been treating my really badly recently. She is emotionally manipulative too and deserves to be blocked.
Just change your password
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999tigger
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so I needed to pay my accommodation deposit but didn't want to cos wasn't sure if I wanted to go. Mum kept saying she was going to phone up and pay. I tried to tell her several times no, explained, also said it wouldn't be an issue if not paid today etc. She was all stressed, shouting. We were on a day out and she walked off to go and call them. I had told her several times not to. But I am exhausted of this. I wasn't going to chase after her or try and snatch the phone out of her hands. I tried my best to stop her and ultimately if she was still going to go behind my back- that is her decision. I am just so fed up of her getting involved in my life like that. just f off please??? We get on well sometimes but I'm fed up of her not respecting me enough to listen to me and stay out of things. The same thing happened the other week when she signed onto my contract and accepted it (it is legally binding as well) behind my back. I'm so pissed off because she keeps doing things like this. I know I am late deciding but she just needs to leave me to it and let me learn. Going behind my back and doing that isn't the way forward and now if I don't go she has to pay 8 weeks rent (£1000). I could have tried harder to stop her which I did last time when she signed it but I'm fed up of her stupid behaviour and not going to emotionally exhaust myself just because she's an idiot.
She cant actually sign for you without your authority.
You should ring accommodation and confirm that, although it will be classed as a rejection.
You dont explain why you are having difficulties deciding.
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