Would you settle for Mr.Nice over attraction?

I am in a 3 year relationship with Mr.Nice guy.
He’s caring, gentle, treats me like a queen and has career goals. We’re talking about marriage, saving for a home deposit and planning children in the future.
Although, I have never really been that attracted to him, both physically and sexually. I came from a few relationships with Mr.Hot guys, but they never ended well. So I settled for Mr.Nice and I feel as though it’s coming to bite me in ass big time. If I passed him on the street before I met him, I probably wouldn’t look twice.
Am I a bad person? Would you settle for Mr.Nice guy who can give you everything and sacrificing attraction over potentially leaving and finding someone well-rounded in most areas?

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Reply 1

Anglogoy26

Original post by Anonymous

Vanity. A demeaning and destructive sin. You have already explained how he is in fact a worthy man to marry and procreate with so there isn't an issue
Being attractive means nothing. Cleave to him, give him children and serve your family. simple is good.

Reply 2

username4168344

He cares too much and that's how you let him down. I don't blame you. It's his fault. I feel sorry for him. Mr hot guys only want what's between your legs. The moment you open to them that, you're done. They are into the next one, who knows, the next one could be even someone close to you. Be careful with those guys.

Reply 3

Welshvisitor

Worryingly you haven’t even mentioned being in love with him. Perhaps you need to think about that ?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Welshvisitor

Worryingly you haven’t even mentioned being in love with him. Perhaps you need to think about that ?

I do love him. Sooo much

Reply 5

hau28

I would rather stay single than be with someone who I’m not physically attracted to. It’s a relationship not a friendship.

Reply 6

fallen_acorns

how old are you?

its.a harsh reality but as abyone my age knows.. for girls there is only so long that you can chase and get hot guys or the best nice guys.

i mean if yourb 20 or 22 etc.. youve got plenty of time.. can go play with your hot guys and still have time to find a nice guy when your done... but if your 29, 32, 34 etc. you will quickly start to find that the hot guys are chasing the younger girls.. and the best nice guys that were chasing you 5-10 years ago are all married and taken.. whats left is mostly guys with baggage.. devorced etc. or guys who are still single for a reason.

what your feeling is normal.. your not at the point where your ready to give up chasing excitement and attractuon for the stabulity and reward of longterm nice-ness.. feeling like thst when your young is fine.. but just make sure you dont keep feeling it when you get older..or its a lonely road ahead.

Reply 7

fallen_acorns

Original post by hau28

I would rather stay single than be with someone who I’m not physically attracted to. It’s a relationship not a friendship.

hsve a fun single adult life then. attraction dies away in every relationship.. and fades naturally with age. do you think your 40-50 year old parents are still attracted to each other? most play the motions but really both still find.younger guys and girls attractive.

following physical attraction is a fun game when your young.. but its an awful life plan for when your older.. unless you want a lonely life.

Reply 8

username4952620

this is weird behaviour

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Welshvisitor

Worryingly you haven’t even mentioned being in love with him. Perhaps you need to think about that ?

I do love him. Sooo much

Original post by fallen_acorns

I am 20 years old x

ok I am definitely no pro, but you can't marry someone you are not attracted to. You're young, so you can probably enjoy life a little and go to parties and sleep with lots of hot guys, but eventually you will want to find someone you are attracted to who is also Mr. Nice (there will be someone out there) and with this person you can have kids or whatever.

Reply 12

1582

Volunteer Team

No, I wouldn't. A guy doesn't need to look like a model, but if I'm not sexually attracted to him then it's not going to work.

Reply 13

Tabathaxx

imo if you feel the need to use the words "settle for:" then you already know the answer yourself!

Reply 14

fallen_acorns

Original post by Anonymous

I am 20 years old x

personally at that age.. i think its very normal to still want more excitement. you dont need to worry about settling down for a good few years. boys on here will be annoyed because they are scared of the idea that they can behave really nicely perfectly and still not be good enough. but they are missing the point that until someone hits the psychological switch where they are ready to settle down.. trying to force them to do so, wont end well.

i would go and chase excitement if i were you, but just dont go crazy because if you go too far, you risk putting off tye sensible guys that eventuslly your goijng to want when your older and want to settle and start a family.

Reply 15

SteveyStack

Some guy has invested himself completely into someone who doesn’t even find him attractive. I feel so sorry for him but as for you I don’t know

Reply 16

username4937028

I mean attraction does fade and change, so it's not my main priority at all. However, it's hard to fully be attracted to someone who may have a great personality but looks wise you're repulsed by. Won't work in the long run.

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Wow,How horrible is this...
So you found a guy that you "love soon much" and treats you like a queen while having strong career goals (not really important but a plus I guess) and you are considering ditching him so you can have S*X with hotter guys?
Jesus Christ. Seeing posts like this make me MGTOW

Reply 18

username2657095

Original post by Anonymous

I don’t think you’re a bad person, but I struggle to understand why you’ve stayed in a 3 year relationship with someone you’re not wholly attracted to. It is very possible to find a nice guy who will treat you like a queen, that you’re also really physically and sexually attracted to (I have). If you feel like you’re settling, it’s better to end the relationship before it gets to the engagement stage. That should hopefully save the poor guy a little bit of heartbreak. Instead of just physically looking for a hot guy, find someone you have a genuine connection with. As long as the sexual chemistry is also there, the rest will follow.