I am so confused with this guy... help? (sorry will be long) Watch

Anonymous #1
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Hi everyone, before I begin, thank you for your time.
So I am a women (21) and will be discussing about a guy (32) who is a Dr.
So we met on placement and kinda hit it from there. We went out (seemed like casual) but could be seen as dates and we became pretty close quite fast.. maybe too fast. I began staying over alot and we became physical quite soon (though never had intercourse). He has always looked out for my pleasure, always affectionate, sweet words and always encourages me to meet my goals and make my career my number 1 priority and never compromise.
After i finished placement, I did not meet him and in fact made him go back when he traveled to meet me at my hometown, at that moment I felt like maybe it is just lust. However, we kept in touch via calls and messages though at night if we called he would make things sound sexual.
We finally met on my exam day, 3 months later, he kissed all over my face, hugged me so tight and asked how I was, it felt good and normal. After exam though he started touching me all over e.g. breast and tried to touch me down there in which I stopped him. I mentioned many times it feels like u are just after my body.
We met again 2 weeks later after his exam was over and he didnt hug and upon questioning he said u always say I am after your body thats why and so he also did not book a hotel.... so we ate food and just cuddled.
This is bad I know but I love him and couldnt resit so said to book a hotel and though it was just for 30 mins he kissed my upper body and i rested on his chest.
I dont understand whether it is lust or love. I have never kissed him anywhere other than his lip (peck) and on his forehead so i never tried to give him "satisfaction" yet he still makes love to me.
Recently, he failed 4 exams and has personal issues so now he has blocked me for 6 months to focus on his health and studies and told me to do the same.
Did he truly love me? He has been there for me emotionally
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Welshvisitor
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I guess you’ll only know in six months time. He has made himself unavailable so you can’t ask him anything to help you to decide.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Welshvisitor)
I guess you’ll only know in six months time. He has made himself unavailable so you can’t ask him anything to help you to decide.
I remember whenever i mentioned about oh you are just lusting he says well there are so many girls out there and I just want you and says it been 3 months I did not have u near me and u still think it was lust? He has said I love u to me before.

6 months being away from someone u claim to love is odd? but I guess this break is beneficial for us both.
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Welshvisitor
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It’s unusual yes, and maybe he won’t be able to wait the six months if indeed he loves you. Don’t put your life on hold for him, if you meet another man you like you might like to see how that goes
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Dunnig Kruger
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How can he be a doctor, aged 32 and still taking a load of exams, which he's failing?

That's a very unusual set of circumstances.

Are you sure he's not fed you a load of Walter Mitty fantasies about what and who he really is?

32 year old doctors of medicine should be practising. Not taking more exams.

32 year old doctors in other subjects wouldn't have 4 exams to take unless they were getting some sort technical qualification such as one in Cisco networking or Microsoft systems. And even then, someone capable of getting a PhD would have a very good chance of breezing through technical qualifications like this.

If you love him, why haven't you had sex with him yet?

Why did he encourage you to meet your goals and make your career number 1, and then go on to flunk his own exams?
Is he the world's biggest hypocrite?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Welshvisitor)
It’s unusual yes, and maybe he won’t be able to wait the six months if indeed he loves you. Don’t put your life on hold for him, if you meet another man you like you might like to see how that goes
yes so true. I will do exactly that X
i cannot stop thinking about him though (
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
How can he be a doctor, aged 32 and still taking a load of exams, which he's failing?

That's a very unusual set of circumstances.

Are you sure he's not fed you a load of Walter Mitty fantasies about what and who he really is?

32 year old doctors of medicine should be practising. Not taking more exams.

32 year old doctors in other subjects wouldn't have 4 exams to take unless they were getting some sort technical qualification such as one in Cisco networking or Microsoft systems. And even then, someone capable of getting a PhD would have a very good chance of breezing through technical qualifications like this.

If you love him, why haven't you had sex with him yet?

Why did he encourage you to meet your goals and make your career number 1, and then go on to flunk his own exams?
Is he the world's biggest hypocrite?
He is an A and E doctor. I had an Asthma attack and hw treated me at the hospital so he's definitely a doctor. The exams not sure what they were though he did tell me it was some sort of exam where u have to critically analyse....

I love him and didn't have sex due to religious and personal preference.

nope, he really cares about his exam but he works 12h shifts so doesn't get much time to revise as much as he likes to and he has family problems e.g. financial.

I hope he is not a hypocrite because I don't feel like he is but I can understand why u felt this way with the minimal info I gave x
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Dunnig Kruger
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Are you sure that wasn't a typo in the OP and are you sure he's 32 and not 23?

Bearing in mind what doctors on the NHS earn:
https://www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/exp...rs/pay-doctors

How has he gotten into financial difficulties? Does he have a drug or gambling or prostitution or some other money draining habit?

Is he a fully qualified doctor or is he in Foundation Training?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Are you sure that wasn't a typo in the OP and are you sure he's 32 and not 23?

Bearing in mind what doctors on the NHS earn:
https://www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/exp...rs/pay-doctors

How has he gotten into financial difficulties? Does he have a drug or gambling or prostitution or some other money draining habit?

Is he a fully qualified doctor or is he in Foundation Training?
Well.. he told me he's doctor and training.
no his family had some fimancial loss due to loans taken back at another country.
he is 32 according to what he told me.
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Anonymous #2
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If he really did care about you emotionally why would he block you for 6 months, even if he has to focus on his exams - I find that a bit dodgy. Not to scare you or anything but what if he has a whole wife and kids already?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If he really did care about you emotionally why would he block you for 6 months, even if he has to focus on his exams - I find that a bit dodgy. Not to scare you or anything but what if he has a whole wife and kids already?
I was soo scared about this honestly but whenever i ask if hes got a wife he laughs and says no why would i ve with u if i did... i asked many times to be sure
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well.. he told me he's doctor and training.
no his family had some fimancial loss due to loans taken back at another country.
he is 32 according to what he told me.
How big are these loans? Why should he be liable for any loans that his parents or siblings have gotten involved in?

There's something that doesn't seem or feel right about this whole situation.

Proceed with extreme caution.

Whilst keeping your eyes open for other options. IE other men to become your boyfriend / husband.
Last edited by Dunnig Kruger; 3 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If he really did care about you emotionally why would he block you for 6 months, even if he has to focus on his exams - I find that a bit dodgy. Not to scare you or anything but what if he has a whole wife and
kids already?
The bit about if he cared emotionally why would be block me is something i question too it doesnt make sense. how can he go 6 months from not talking, i remember him daily and at times called him on another number cuz i couldnt bare it and he seemed eager to get off the phone
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
There's something that doesn't seem or feel right about this whole situation.

Proceed with extreme caution.

Whilst keeping your eyes open for other options. IE other men to become your boyfriend / husband.
will do thanks xxx
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I was soo scared about this honestly but whenever i ask if hes got a wife he laughs and says no why would i ve with u if i did... i asked many times to be sure
Just be careful and don’t trust too easily, people say things and do something else. I hope it all works out for you in the end though! X
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The bit about if he cared emotionally why would be block me is something i question too it doesnt make sense. how can he go 6 months from not talking, i remember him daily and at times called him on another number cuz i couldnt bare it and he seemed eager to get off the phone
I think you can do better tbh, he doesn’t seem like he’s worth it
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holly6901
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Just be careful and don't focus on him loads it'll make it harder if it does go wrong

I'm only 16 so I don't really know but he sounds fishy to me
but if you need it I'm always here for you
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Blue123456
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just be careful and don’t trust too easily, people say things and do something else. I hope it all works out for you in the end though! X
yeah true xx

(Original post by Anonymous)
I think you can do better tbh, he doesn’t seem like he’s worth it
honestly when i am with him i feel so good and alive but his behaviour of cuttin of contact without asking for my view seems so fishy so yes i do deserve and can do better. what shall i do if he eventually reaches out??

(Original post by holly6901)
Just be careful and don't focus on him loads it'll make it harder if it does go wrong

I'm only 16 so I don't really know but he sounds fishy to me
but if you need it I'm always here for you
okay thanks girl x
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by Blue123456)
yeah true xx



honestly when i am with him i feel so good and alive but his behaviour of cuttin of contact without asking for my view seems so fishy so yes i do deserve and can do better. what shall i do if he eventually reaches out??



okay thanks girl x
You don't seem to be anonymous any more.
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Blue123456
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
You don't seem to be anonymous any more.
i guess not now haha.
Anyways I appreciate everyones input
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