I am so confused with this guy... help? (sorry will be long)
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Just to clear some things up, there's no reason to believe this person is lying about their circumstances unless you have reason to believe so, especially seen as you met them in their role as an emergency medicine doctor and they have treated you themselves.
Let's say this man went to medical school at 18, and completed a 5 or 6 year MBBS (or equivalent) degree. He would have graduated medical school at the age of 23/24. Doctors must then complete 2 years of foundation training. The pathway after foundation training to become a consultant (gain your CCT) in emergency medicine is 6 years minimum, although many emergency medics train less than full time and many doctors have breaks in their training.
For arguments sake though, after foundation 1 and 2, he would be 26. At 32, it is perfectly reasonable that he is still on the training pathway. With regards to exams, doctors take exams throughout their careers, mostly Royal College exams. To gain your CCT in your speciality and become a "fully qualified" doctor, you have to pass a number of notoriously difficult exams which many doctors take more than one attempt to pass.
In terms of whether or not he is interested, time will tell. Just some peace of mind for you here that you haven't been led down the garden path and what he's told you about his profession is really not difficult to believe. I wouldn't wait around for 6 months though.
Let's say this man went to medical school at 18, and completed a 5 or 6 year MBBS (or equivalent) degree. He would have graduated medical school at the age of 23/24. Doctors must then complete 2 years of foundation training. The pathway after foundation training to become a consultant (gain your CCT) in emergency medicine is 6 years minimum, although many emergency medics train less than full time and many doctors have breaks in their training.
For arguments sake though, after foundation 1 and 2, he would be 26. At 32, it is perfectly reasonable that he is still on the training pathway. With regards to exams, doctors take exams throughout their careers, mostly Royal College exams. To gain your CCT in your speciality and become a "fully qualified" doctor, you have to pass a number of notoriously difficult exams which many doctors take more than one attempt to pass.
In terms of whether or not he is interested, time will tell. Just some peace of mind for you here that you haven't been led down the garden path and what he's told you about his profession is really not difficult to believe. I wouldn't wait around for 6 months though.
Original post by jsg9
Just to clear some things up, there's no reason to believe this person is lying about their circumstances unless you have reason to believe so, especially seen as you met them in their role as an emergency medicine doctor and they have treated you themselves.
Let's say this man went to medical school at 18, and completed a 5 or 6 year MBBS (or equivalent) degree. He would have graduated medical school at the age of 23/24. Doctors must then complete 2 years of foundation training. The pathway after foundation training to become a consultant (gain your CCT) in emergency medicine is 6 years minimum, although many emergency medics train less than full time and many doctors have breaks in their training.
For arguments sake though, after foundation 1 and 2, he would be 26. At 32, it is perfectly reasonable that he is still on the training pathway. With regards to exams, doctors take exams throughout their careers, mostly Royal College exams. To gain your CCT in your speciality and become a "fully qualified" doctor, you have to pass a number of notoriously difficult exams which many doctors take more than one attempt to pass.
In terms of whether or not he is interested, time will tell. Just some peace of mind for you here that you haven't been led down the garden path and what he's told you about his profession is really not difficult to believe. I wouldn't wait around for 6 months though.
Let's say this man went to medical school at 18, and completed a 5 or 6 year MBBS (or equivalent) degree. He would have graduated medical school at the age of 23/24. Doctors must then complete 2 years of foundation training. The pathway after foundation training to become a consultant (gain your CCT) in emergency medicine is 6 years minimum, although many emergency medics train less than full time and many doctors have breaks in their training.
For arguments sake though, after foundation 1 and 2, he would be 26. At 32, it is perfectly reasonable that he is still on the training pathway. With regards to exams, doctors take exams throughout their careers, mostly Royal College exams. To gain your CCT in your speciality and become a "fully qualified" doctor, you have to pass a number of notoriously difficult exams which many doctors take more than one attempt to pass.
In terms of whether or not he is interested, time will tell. Just some peace of mind for you here that you haven't been led down the garden path and what he's told you about his profession is really not difficult to believe. I wouldn't wait around for 6 months though.
Thank You x
Original post by jsg9
Just to clear some things up, there's no reason to believe this person is lying about their circumstances unless you have reason to believe so, especially seen as you met them in their role as an emergency medicine doctor and they have treated you themselves.
Let's say this man went to medical school at 18, and completed a 5 or 6 year MBBS (or equivalent) degree. He would have graduated medical school at the age of 23/24. Doctors must then complete 2 years of foundation training. The pathway after foundation training to become a consultant (gain your CCT) in emergency medicine is 6 years minimum, although many emergency medics train less than full time and many doctors have breaks in their training.
For arguments sake though, after foundation 1 and 2, he would be 26. At 32, it is perfectly reasonable that he is still on the training pathway. With regards to exams, doctors take exams throughout their careers, mostly Royal College exams. To gain your CCT in your speciality and become a "fully qualified" doctor, you have to pass a number of notoriously difficult exams which many doctors take more than one attempt to pass.
In terms of whether or not he is interested, time will tell. Just some peace of mind for you here that you haven't been led down the garden path and what he's told you about his profession is really not difficult to believe. I wouldn't wait around for 6 months though.
Let's say this man went to medical school at 18, and completed a 5 or 6 year MBBS (or equivalent) degree. He would have graduated medical school at the age of 23/24. Doctors must then complete 2 years of foundation training. The pathway after foundation training to become a consultant (gain your CCT) in emergency medicine is 6 years minimum, although many emergency medics train less than full time and many doctors have breaks in their training.
For arguments sake though, after foundation 1 and 2, he would be 26. At 32, it is perfectly reasonable that he is still on the training pathway. With regards to exams, doctors take exams throughout their careers, mostly Royal College exams. To gain your CCT in your speciality and become a "fully qualified" doctor, you have to pass a number of notoriously difficult exams which many doctors take more than one attempt to pass.
In terms of whether or not he is interested, time will tell. Just some peace of mind for you here that you haven't been led down the garden path and what he's told you about his profession is really not difficult to believe. I wouldn't wait around for 6 months though.
that's a really good point I'm hella sceptical
Original post by Anonymous
Recently, he failed 4 exams and has personal issues so now he has blocked me for 6 months to focus on his health and studies and told me to do the same.
It seems to me that he considers you a sort of distraction whose presence in his life would impact negatively on him, otherwise why would he block you "because he needs to focus on himself"? Apparently this fact is just a guise. I think if he really loved you he would have addressed it differently: it's normal for him not to be available all the day around due to his engagements, but he would still check on you from time to time and check your messages. He wouldn't have blocked you all at once!
I was going to share a piece of advice regarding your concerns about him being lust-oriented rather than genuinely in love with you, until I've stumbled across your statement above. Hence here is my advice to you: let him do what he wants - those who want you to be in their lives will find a way, no matter how much of a hectic life they've got. Give the fact of blocking you a second thought. This is not supposed to exist in a healthy progressing relationship.
Also, I believe couples with an age gap are still entitled to be together as long as they are on the same wavelength and that both of them are above the age of consent. However, having gone a little into the past and realised you were only 12 when he graduated from medical school - this has made me somewhat uncomfortable.. why doesn't he go for ladies around his generation and at the same life stage of his? I shall add in agreement to previous comments: what if he wasn't single?
Another side note: I think it is good for you that you haven't yet slept together, especially with his inexplicable attitude. I gather you have relevant principles which you are adhering to. Keep doing so, so as not to regret anything in the short or long run, until the absolutely right time and right person arrive.
In response to @Dunnig Kruger : having myself been planning to work as a doctor in the UK in the upcoming future, let me assert to you that it is quite normal to encounter Drs in their 30s and even 40s taking exams (apart from academic degrees like a PhD). This mainly involves those in current training. A number of exams are a must to be sat in order for the doctor to advance with their training up to becoming a specialty consultant
Therefore, I can see that doctor made sense, although I am still not really certain which 4 exams he was referring at.Original post by TheMadNerd93
It seems to me that he considers you a sort of distraction whose presence in his life would impact negatively on him, otherwise why would he block you "because he needs to focus on himself"? Apparently this fact is just a guise. I think if he really loved you he would have addressed it differently: it's normal for him not to be available all the day around due to his engagements, but he would still check on you from time to time and check your messages. He wouldn't have blocked you all at once!
I was going to share a piece of advice regarding your concerns about him being lust-oriented rather than genuinely in love with you, until I've stumbled across your statement above. Hence here is my advice to you: let him do what he wants - those who want you to be in their lives will find a way, no matter how much of a hectic life they've got. Give the fact of blocking you a second thought. This is not supposed to exist in a healthy progressing relationship.
Also, I believe couples with an age gap are still entitled to be together as long as they are on the same wavelength and that both of them are above the age of consent. However, having gone a little into the past and realised you were only 12 when he graduated from medical school - this has made me somewhat uncomfortable.. why doesn't he go for ladies around his generation and at the same life stage of his? I shall add in agreement to previous comments: what if he wasn't single?
Another side note: I think it is good for you that you haven't yet slept together, especially with his inexplicable attitude. I gather you have relevant principles which you are adhering to. Keep doing so, so as not to regret anything in the short or long run, until the absolutely right time and right person arrive.
In response to @Dunnig Kruger : having myself been planning to work as a doctor in the UK in the upcoming future, let me assert to you that it is quite normal to encounter Drs in their 30s and even 40s taking exams (apart from academic degrees like a PhD). This mainly involves those in current training. A number of exams are a must to be sat in order for the doctor to advance with their training up to becoming a specialty consultant Therefore, I can see that doctor made sense, although I am still not really certain which 4 exams he was referring at.
I was going to share a piece of advice regarding your concerns about him being lust-oriented rather than genuinely in love with you, until I've stumbled across your statement above. Hence here is my advice to you: let him do what he wants - those who want you to be in their lives will find a way, no matter how much of a hectic life they've got. Give the fact of blocking you a second thought. This is not supposed to exist in a healthy progressing relationship.
Also, I believe couples with an age gap are still entitled to be together as long as they are on the same wavelength and that both of them are above the age of consent. However, having gone a little into the past and realised you were only 12 when he graduated from medical school - this has made me somewhat uncomfortable.. why doesn't he go for ladies around his generation and at the same life stage of his? I shall add in agreement to previous comments: what if he wasn't single?
Another side note: I think it is good for you that you haven't yet slept together, especially with his inexplicable attitude. I gather you have relevant principles which you are adhering to. Keep doing so, so as not to regret anything in the short or long run, until the absolutely right time and right person arrive.
In response to @Dunnig Kruger : having myself been planning to work as a doctor in the UK in the upcoming future, let me assert to you that it is quite normal to encounter Drs in their 30s and even 40s taking exams (apart from academic degrees like a PhD). This mainly involves those in current training. A number of exams are a must to be sat in order for the doctor to advance with their training up to becoming a specialty consultant
Therefore, I can see that doctor made sense, although I am still not really certain which 4 exams he was referring at.what should i do if he reaches out after 6 months or never reaches out again??
Original post by Blue123456
what should i do if he reaches out after 6 months or never reaches out again??
Original post by Blue123456
what should i do if he reaches out after 6 months or never reaches out again??
if he talks in 6 months keep going if you want to but be wary of what he does. Tell him you missed him and want to meet up
Original post by Blue123456
what should i do if he reaches out after 6 months or never reaches out again??
if he never comes back just move on. Remember it's his loss
Original post by Blue123456
what should i do if he reaches out after 6 months or never reaches out again??
The first thing I must tell you is not to put your life on hold for his sake. Believe me it would be extremely hard if you spend 6 months at their entirety waiting for him. Just let it go. Get yourself preoccupied with your daily activities, be they medschool studies or extra-academic such as some hobbies.
"If you love someone, let them go; they will surely find their way back to you if you're meant to be together"
In case he is back after 6 months, I recommend you to have a serious conversation at the instant regarding the fate of your relationship. If he doesn't reach out for you, however, I would say it is a sign for you that he is not the one, and that you ought to move on towards a better life with better events.
Original post by holly6901
if he talks in 6 months keep going if you want to but be wary of what he does. Tell him you missed him and want to meet up
Original post by holly6901
if he never comes back just move on. Remember it's his loss
💛💛💛
I love the last bit, remember it's his loss
Original post by TheMadNerd93
The first thing I must tell you is not to put your life on hold for his sake. Believe me it would be extremely hard if you spend 6 months at their entirety waiting for him. Just let it go. Get yourself preoccupied with your daily activities, be they medschool studies or extra-academic such as some hobbies.
"If you love someone, let them go; they will surely find their way back to you if you're meant to be together"
In case he is back after 6 months, I recommend you to have a serious conversation at the instant regarding the fate of your relationship. If he doesn't reach out for you, however, I would say it is a sign for you that he is not the one, and that you ought to move on towards a better life with better events.
"If you love someone, let them go; they will surely find their way back to you if you're meant to be together"
In case he is back after 6 months, I recommend you to have a serious conversation at the instant regarding the fate of your relationship. If he doesn't reach out for you, however, I would say it is a sign for you that he is not the one, and that you ought to move on towards a better life with better events.
Original post by TheMadNerd93
The first thing I must tell you is not to put your life on hold for his sake. Believe me it would be extremely hard if you spend 6 months at their entirety waiting for him. Just let it go. Get yourself preoccupied with your daily activities, be they medschool studies or extra-academic such as some hobbies.
"If you love someone, let them go; they will surely find their way back to you if you're meant to be together"
In case he is back after 6 months, I recommend you to have a serious conversation at the instant regarding the fate of your relationship. If he doesn't reach out for you, however, I would say it is a sign for you that he is not the one, and that you ought to move on towards a better life with better events.
"If you love someone, let them go; they will surely find their way back to you if you're meant to be together"
In case he is back after 6 months, I recommend you to have a serious conversation at the instant regarding the fate of your relationship. If he doesn't reach out for you, however, I would say it is a sign for you that he is not the one, and that you ought to move on towards a better life with better events.
Thanks girl, that's such good advice I will focus on my studies and hobbies. tbh i feel like he's made it pretty clear marriage is not in the cards so i should move on and just keep him as a friend in the back burner... responding or meeting like once every 6 months kinda thing and not being so close.
I have another q, I know it sounds bad and lack of self discipline but when i get a notification on WhatsApp i just have to reply like its a habit, i dont like notifications, any advice how to overcome this? i dont understand how some ppl can just ignore.
Original post by Blue123456
Thanks girl, that's such good advice I will focus on my studies and hobbies. tbh i feel like he's made it pretty clear marriage is not in the cards so i should move on and just keep him as a friend in the back burner... responding or meeting like once every 6 months kinda thing and not being so close.
I have another q, I know it sounds bad and lack of self discipline but when i get a notification on WhatsApp i just have to reply like its a habit, i dont like notifications, any advice how to overcome this? i dont understand how some ppl can just ignore.
I have another q, I know it sounds bad and lack of self discipline but when i get a notification on WhatsApp i just have to reply like its a habit, i dont like notifications, any advice how to overcome this? i dont understand how some ppl can just ignore.
you can get apps that limit access to your phone. When you hear a WhatsApp come in you can turn it on for an hour and start some homework or an online game to distract yourself.
Original post by Blue123456
Thanks girl, that's such good advice I will focus on my studies and hobbies. tbh i feel like he's made it pretty clear marriage is not in the cards so i should move on and just keep him as a friend in the back burner... responding or meeting like once every 6 months kinda thing and not being so close.
I have another q, I know it sounds bad and lack of self discipline but when i get a notification on WhatsApp i just have to reply like its a habit, i dont like notifications, any advice how to overcome this? i dont understand how some ppl can just ignore.
I have another q, I know it sounds bad and lack of self discipline but when i get a notification on WhatsApp i just have to reply like its a habit, i dont like notifications, any advice how to overcome this? i dont understand how some ppl can just ignore.
We all have our flaws in terms of self-discipline and being easily distracted. I personally tend to instantly reply to extremely urgent messages (when someone needs an urgent help), and to my parents. Otherwise there are messages to which I tend to respond in a timeframe of a few days. I have no intentions of ignoring anyone (I know how it feels to be ignored so I don't like to cause that feeling to others), but it is about preventing myself from being distracted by going through chats that can be postponed until I am really available. Although I have not yet tried what I am going to say, I suggest you - in agreement to the previous comment - to find an application that somehow blocks notifications. I would also suggest you to hide your "last seen" activity, so as your contacts wouldn't be able to see what time you were on Whatsapp (I sometimes do this). It's okay if it takes some time for you to become conditioned, but eventually it will happen. Be aware of how precious your time is, and accordingly you will get your priorities straight and prevent yourself from procrastination and distraction every once in a while.
Always happy to be of help
He should not have had a relationship with his patient
Original post by TheMadNerd93
We all have our flaws in terms of self-discipline and being easily distracted. I personally tend to instantly reply to extremely urgent messages (when someone needs an urgent help), and to my parents. Otherwise there are messages to which I tend to respond in a timeframe of a few days. I have no intentions of ignoring anyone (I know how it feels to be ignored so I don't like to cause that feeling to others), but it is about preventing myself from being distracted by going through chats that can be postponed until I am really available. Although I have not yet tried what I am going to say, I suggest you - in agreement to the previous comment - to find an application that somehow blocks notifications. I would also suggest you to hide your "last seen" activity, so as your contacts wouldn't be able to see what time you were on Whatsapp (I sometimes do this). It's okay if it takes some time for you to become conditioned, but eventually it will happen. Be aware of how precious your time is, and accordingly you will get your priorities straight and prevent yourself from procrastination and distraction every once in a while.
Always happy to be of help
Always happy to be of help
yeah I will try turning my last seen off for now and see how that goes for a week and if I am still distracted then might turn notifications off. ty x
I think for starters maybe you should do as he’s said and just focus on your life hun as much as u may miss him...
I think he needs time and just needs to focus if he’s failed 3 exams you may be the reason for that cause so let him be ...
Secondly you can’t call this love hun I feel as if you don’t know him that well.. but I may be wrong anyway you are still very young he’s a lot older so when he is in contact just as him straight up what he wants and if he tells you great if not then not much u can do either go with the flow or completely just leave it and move on .
I think he needs time and just needs to focus if he’s failed 3 exams you may be the reason for that cause so let him be ...
Secondly you can’t call this love hun I feel as if you don’t know him that well.. but I may be wrong anyway you are still very young he’s a lot older so when he is in contact just as him straight up what he wants and if he tells you great if not then not much u can do either go with the flow or completely just leave it and move on .
Original post by Anonymous
I think for starters maybe you should do as he’s said and just focus on your life hun as much as u may miss him...
I think he needs time and just needs to focus if he’s failed 3 exams you may be the reason for that cause so let him be ...
Secondly you can’t call this love hun I feel as if you don’t know him that well.. but I may be wrong anyway you are still very young he’s a lot older so when he is in contact just as him straight up what he wants and if he tells you great if not then not much u can do either go with the flow or completely just leave it and move on .
I think he needs time and just needs to focus if he’s failed 3 exams you may be the reason for that cause so let him be ...
Secondly you can’t call this love hun I feel as if you don’t know him that well.. but I may be wrong anyway you are still very young he’s a lot older so when he is in contact just as him straight up what he wants and if he tells you great if not then not much u can do either go with the flow or completely just leave it and move on .
true x
Just to update I am the person that made this thread. That guy left me suddenly he was clearly a liar and played with my emotions
Original post by Anonymous
Just to update I am the person that made this thread. That guy left me suddenly he was clearly a liar and played with my emotions
Huh geez! Sorry to hear it. At least it seems like you had some good times with him, and learned some things.
I hope you don't lose hope. There are good people out there!
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Huh geez! Sorry to hear it. At least it seems like you had some good times with him, and learned some things.
I hope you don't lose hope. There are good people out there!
I hope you don't lose hope. There are good people out there!
Yeah had my good times but I cant figure out what lessons I've learnt because all I feel like is that he played with me and his feelings were never genuine 😔😓
Original post by Anonymous
Just to update I am the person that made this thread. That guy left me suddenly he was clearly a liar and played with my emotions
It's good you've got rid of him. You don't need such a person in your life. It's his loss. Things happen for better reasons. Sooner or later you'll realise that what has occurred is actually for better events to attend in your life.
Try to take it positively as much as possible and never, ever shed a tear for him. Live your life fully. Forget about your past with him. Eventually he'll get what he deserves, and the same goes to you xx
(edited 4 years ago)
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