Help I’m hiding in my room, university

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Just said goodbye to my family, now I’m alone in my accommodation bedroom, hiding because yay social anxiety! I keep hearing noises outside my room, people are talking but I’m just in my room crying my eyes out cause I’m scared... I’m actually a mess right now 😭
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Anonymous #2
#2
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#2
the student room family is here for you
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Notnek
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Just said goodbye to my family, now I’m alone in my accommodation bedroom, hiding because yay social anxiety! I keep hearing noises outside my room, people are talking but I’m just in my room crying my eyes out cause I’m scared... I’m actually a mess right now 😭
You need to call on all the strength you have an leave your room and try talking to some people. If you don't do it now then it's going to get harder and harder and you'll just get even more sad. Please try
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Anonymous #3
#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
the student room family is here for you
Yeah, we got your back.
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Anonymous #4
#5
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#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Just said goodbye to my family, now I’m alone in my accommodation bedroom, hiding because yay social anxiety! I keep hearing noises outside my room, people are talking but I’m just in my room crying my eyes out cause I’m scared... I’m actually a mess right now 😭
First of all, take some deep breaths. Nothing bad is happening. What are you scared of?
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Xarao
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#6
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#6
Hey, if you need anyone to talk to many of us including myself are always available.

Just throw a pm or even reply if you need me.
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Sataris
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#7
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#7
You can take your time Maybe wait until you think there's just one or two people outside? Instead of a whole group. Then go and say hi, don't need to get into a big long chat or anything
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Gent2324
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#8
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#8
try and get over the flinch and just go out and stop thinking about it. wont get better until you do something about it
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mathspaperfree
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Just said goodbye to my family, now I’m alone in my accommodation bedroom, hiding because yay social anxiety! I keep hearing noises outside my room, people are talking but I’m just in my room crying my eyes out cause I’m scared... I’m actually a mess right now 😭
bro, just talk a deep breath, and say "screw it!", if you are with other people say it in your head.
Now GET OUT THERE SON!
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4Dasquaw
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#10
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#10
Hey i feel bad but really fear is an illusion. You have to understand we are all one - the same - all humans. Every single one of us has the same fears and really we dont even need them. We can allow them to be there, and let them go. Simply accept that you are fearful because it is not WRONG or BAD to feel these feelings - it simply is. Allow them and let them subside: rule number 1 whatever you resist persists. Just allow yourself to feel it in this moment, become aware of it, don't judge it or label it as bad. And take a deep breath, step outside your room:

See the first person and say "hey, can i join in?"

Thats it. Trust the process.
Last edited by 4Dasquaw; 2 years ago
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mathspaperfree
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#11
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#11
(Original post by 4Dasquaw)
take a deep breath, step outside your room:

See the first person and say hey, can i join in?
this is what i did at my new college
of course, being 6ft 3, having a wide frame and handsome face helped but still.
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juulpod
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#12
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#12
thread starter hasnt replied so im hoping they left they're room and chatted to some people
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999tigger
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Just said goodbye to my family, now I’m alone in my accommodation bedroom, hiding because yay social anxiety! I keep hearing noises outside my room, people are talking but I’m just in my room crying my eyes out cause I’m scared... I’m actually a mess right now 😭
Hadnt you thought about what the implications are of going top uni all over the summer and the 2 years you have been doing your level 3?
What is it you are anxious about? Lets talk it through.

Outside that door you have people who will be keen to meet you? Some of them will be a bit anxious, but in general this offer lasts about a week.
They arent going to beat you up or eat you.
They might speak to you tell you who they are and want to be friends or at least good flatmates?
I accept you are scared but please explain scared of what? Your imagination is out of control and these things are untrue.
Do you intend to hide all year?
Do you want friends?
Do you want a social life at uni?


Just go out and introduce yourself, name, you are pleased to meet them, you are a bit nervous, but you hope you can be friends and have adventured during the year.

Are you intendning to eat or drink anything?
Still time to go to the pub for a lemonade?
Order a pizza?


It might even be a pleasant experience.
What you do know is its going to look odd if you never come out to say hello, even antisocial?

Just say hi and smile, they will want to be friends.
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999tigger
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
Just said goodbye to my family, now I’m alone in my accommodation bedroom, hiding because yay social anxiety! I keep hearing noises outside my room, people are talking but I’m just in my room crying my eyes out cause I’m scared... I’m actually a mess right now 😭
Did you make it out of your room?
Saturday is time for shopping with flatmates, lunch, food shopping, exploring and cooking. Check is there are any freshers events as well.
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Anonymous #1
#15
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#15
(Original post by 999tigger)
Did you make it out of your room?
Saturday is time for shopping with flatmates, lunch, food shopping, exploring and cooking. Check is there are any freshers events as well.
Yeah I eventually managed to leave my room after just shouting in my head “I’ve got this”! It wasn’t too scary, but everyone seems really nice so that’s made me so much less nervous. We went shopping and had some food together... It was fun! So far I’ve been kinda shy but still getting on really well with my flatmates, I’ve been leaving my room quite a bit to socialise but now I’m just taking a break for a few hours in my room cause I need some space. I’m not a drinker though and some of themselves are heavy drinkers and party people so I’m kinda scared they’ll make fun of me for not drinking... but generally it’s been fine! There’s a club tonight I’m going to... Kinda terrified because I’m so awkward and quiet, I’m scared of big crowds of people and I’m scared people might try pressuring me to buy drinks! It should be fine though, at least I left my room and for me that took a lot of mental energy.
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username4041250
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
Just said goodbye to my family, now I’m alone in my accommodation bedroom, hiding because yay social anxiety! I keep hearing noises outside my room, people are talking but I’m just in my room crying my eyes out cause I’m scared... I’m actually a mess right now 😭
hey! i am going into my 4th year and I remember my first year, it was difficult but i am talkative and don't have social anxiety so i would legit knock on the doors in my house and speak and inrroduce myself then everyone started talking. someone needs to make the first move xc
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Notnek
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I eventually managed to leave my room after just shouting in my head “I’ve got this”! It wasn’t too scary, but everyone seems really nice so that’s made me so much less nervous. We went shopping and had some food together... It was fun! So far I’ve been kinda shy but still getting on really well with my flatmates, I’ve been leaving my room quite a bit to socialise but now I’m just taking a break for a few hours in my room cause I need some space. I’m not a drinker though and some of themselves are heavy drinkers and party people so I’m kinda scared they’ll make fun of me for not drinking... but generally it’s been fine! There’s a club tonight I’m going to... Kinda terrified because I’m so awkward and quiet, I’m scared of big crowds of people and I’m scared people might try pressuring me to buy drinks! It should be fine though, at least I left my room and for me that took a lot of mental energy.
Yay, that’s really good to hear Try to keep the momentum and see what happens. Don’t worry, uni won’t all be as crazy as freshers week!
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999tigger
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I eventually managed to leave my room after just shouting in my head “I’ve got this”! It wasn’t too scary, but everyone seems really nice so that’s made me so much less nervous. We went shopping and had some food together... It was fun! So far I’ve been kinda shy but still getting on really well with my flatmates, I’ve been leaving my room quite a bit to socialise but now I’m just taking a break for a few hours in my room cause I need some space. I’m not a drinker though and some of themselves are heavy drinkers and party people so I’m kinda scared they’ll make fun of me for not drinking... but generally it’s been fine! There’s a club tonight I’m going to... Kinda terrified because I’m so awkward and quiet, I’m scared of big crowds of people and I’m scared people might try pressuring me to buy drinks! It should be fine though, at least I left my room and for me that took a lot of mental energy.
Just push yourself, but dont overdo it. If you need to you can tell them you you dont drink or you are quite shy.
Dont drink if you dont want and dont go clubbing if you dont want, but you can do all the other stuff. Key thing is not to alienate yourself or them by hiding. You do need to make an effort this term to establish yourself in the flat and make it feel like its a safe place for you. Its not uncommon to be home sick, but you do need to develop your social skills for the future. Having friends and not constnatly being afraid or worried will make uni and getting the most out of it much more agreeable. I would say people are most open minded now, so establish yourself in flat , on course and elsewhere, then you can take it steady rather than being left behind. As long as you respect each other it will be fine.
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rjckk
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I eventually managed to leave my room after just shouting in my head “I’ve got this”! It wasn’t too scary, but everyone seems really nice so that’s made me so much less nervous. We went shopping and had some food together... It was fun! So far I’ve been kinda shy but still getting on really well with my flatmates, I’ve been leaving my room quite a bit to socialise but now I’m just taking a break for a few hours in my room cause I need some space. I’m not a drinker though and some of themselves are heavy drinkers and party people so I’m kinda scared they’ll make fun of me for not drinking... but generally it’s been fine! There’s a club tonight I’m going to... Kinda terrified because I’m so awkward and quiet, I’m scared of big crowds of people and I’m scared people might try pressuring me to buy drinks! It should be fine though, at least I left my room and for me that took a lot of mental energy.
Are you boy or girl? How old are you?
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