Do I reach out after this. Urgent advice needed. Please... Watch

Badges: 2
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
I had this guy in my life who was absolutely amazing, wonderful infact. Trusted him completely but things fell apart last month. I'm gay.

We have known each other years and we became really close, after 6 months or so I started developing feelings for him, he lived abroad then moved to the U.K and we met via mutual friends. He is the polar opposite to me, I was amazed he gave me the time of day truth be told. But some how things developed and we built up a friendship.

When we first added each other on Facebook I had a look at his profile to see if he maybe might be into dudes, I saw so many posts from previous friends about him, the usual derogatory comments. All seemingly questioning his sexuality, though his profile says into women. His last relationship with a girl was 6 years ago, he tagged himself in a relationship in 2014 but the girl said they never dated and i thought this was odd to still have this on your profile, he also had an ex manager who posted a meme 'tag someone who enjoys watching gay porn in private', this was shared in 2016.

The dude has had comments made about him being camp etc and he wears a silver earring in the left ear which is quite big and glittery but I can't really gage if he is.

Last year we were watching a movie alone and out of nowhere he said 'I can't wait to get a girlfriend to watch films with'

This played on my mind when I got home and I never outright told him I was gay, I messaged him on FB and said did he say this cause he's straight and he replied 'correct mate', I said I saw him as a good friend and didn't want to ruin things and he said that's fine, no worries.

After this he became massively attentive, at Uni I would play online games constantly, just to amuse myself, well I did this for over 10 days until I logged in one evening and saw this guy played a recent game, intrigued I checked his profile out, he played every single game I did and shared the same content as me. This was somewhat strange, he was obviously monitoring my account and checking my activity. I addressed this to him but he was cagey, even though I addressed this, it carried on for over 3 months, everyday nearly and I didn't understand why.

After this point, I started watching a show I like on tv in the early hours of the morning, this guy started messaging me in the early hours of the morning, 1am, sending several messages till I responded, we would chat till after 4am! and it became a weekly thing for awhile, he seemed to be showing some interest but for what reason who knows.

after the show came to an end, he started up copying what I was doing again, so I acknowledged this to him.

he went off that he was straight, heavily invested in women, only saw me as a friend, and didn't swing that way, seemed a bit aggressive for just chatting.

well having had enough I took him off Facebook and thought best to move on, 5 weeks later and it's me keeping a distance this guy sends me a friend request at 1.45am , I accepted days later and he actually asked me why I deleted him, after his outburst it should have been clear, he seemed pretty annoyed that i removed him, but again for what reason who knows.

Sadly at uni it became apparent that students knew my sexuality, someone drew a sketch on a board of the guy I like and me in a derogatory manner for students to see and my lecturer, horrified I had been outed.

The guy didn't do the drawing but a girl told me that he had told her everything about me liking him.

I messaged him on Facebook and went off big time, never to speak to me again and I was done with him for this.

But I do really miss him, massively so. I can't tell why he invested so heavily in me and monitored my movements for so long truthfully, it doesn't sound like the actions of a straight guy and for 3 months? Am i being naive or is this friendship behaviour, I'm blocked off Facebook permanently and I am wondering should I reach out on twitter and try and salvage the relationship. Advice welcome.
Badges: 20
Report 3 weeks ago
I feel for you. It’s odd indeed. You could just try to move on or maybe arrange a meet if he’s up for it and sensitivity tell him about seeing his Facebook etc the monitoring and all that .... he might kick off at you but that’s an inherent risk, maybe he’ll come clean 🧼 and disclose his private thoughts. Good luck 😉

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