Couldn't get hard during my first time, help Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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So I just started uni n an am at nightclub event with flatmates and a girl in the same building as me was on me all night and we ended up back to my place. Im a virgin who had never even kissed a girl but we got straight into it. Admittedly I went too fast and left room for little to none foreplay. Because of how much I drunk that night I just couldn't get erect. It became pretty obvious that it wasn't going to happen when trying to get to it. She ended up getting dressed and going back to her room.

Have I ruined things with her? I want to get back with her for a time where I am not insanely drunk but I feel because how bad I was she wouldn't. Any advice? Also, any suggestions in how to ease through foreplay and not rush things
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Anonymous #1
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I feel like telling her I'm a virgin and so we can go through things slowly but I'm embarrassed and worry she'll be put off because it was just a little 1 night thing which she said herself but it was really bad
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Lilli22
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If it was just a one night stand, you don't have to tell her. If you feel guilty about hurting her feelings (if that's what you're concerned about) then you could tell her you were sloshed, I guess?
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I just started uni n an am at nightclub event with flatmates and a girl in the same building as me was on me all night and we ended up back to my place. Im a virgin who had never even kissed a girl but we got straight into it. Admittedly I went too fast and left room for little to none foreplay. Because of how much I drunk that night I just couldn't get erect. It became pretty obvious that it wasn't going to happen when trying to get to it. She ended up getting dressed and going back to her room.

Have I ruined things with her? I want to get back with her for a time where I am not insanely drunk but I feel because how bad I was she wouldn't. Any advice? Also, any suggestions in how to ease through foreplay and not rush things
Do you like this girl / want to get to know her more? If so, then you could mention it, explain that you were drunk (and not being able to get an erection is common when alcohol has been consumed) and that you hope you can move past this.

You'll get more experience as you get older. Just try to be in the moment and not focused on just the actual sex. Again, you'll realise and know how to do this more as you gain more experience.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Lilli22)
If it was just a one night stand, you don't have to tell her. If you feel guilty about hurting her feelings (if that's what you're concerned about) then you could tell her you were sloshed, I guess?
It was just a one night stand but since it was my first time and it ended mid way through, I kind of want to get back together and go again this time when im not stupid drunk. She's not exactly far from me and it would just be a matter of calling her to my room to talk about the night and see where we go from there. Would this be a bad move?

(Original post by DrawTheLine)
Do you like this girl / want to get to know her more? If so, then you could mention it, explain that you were drunk (and not being able to get an erection is common when alcohol has been consumed) and that you hope you can move past this.

You'll get more experience as you get older. Just try to be in the moment and not focused on just the actual sex. Again, you'll realise and know how to do this more as you gain more experience.
I don't exactly like her in the sense you mean, it is more lust I guess. It was really a one off thing but I don't know whether we should kind of finish what we started. It would be awkward seeing her around and when going on nights out so I'm unsure whether to just talk to her or try and go again
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't exactly like her in the sense you mean, it is more lust I guess. It was really a one off thing but I don't know whether we should kind of finish what we started. It would be awkward seeing her around and when going on nights out so I'm unsure whether to just talk to her or try and go again
In that case I would just leave it. You guys were likely only getting down and dirty because you were both drunk and wanted to have sex. I think bringing it up now would make things even more awkward. If you see her around just be polite and friendly.
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Anonymous #2
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This has happened to myself before it's not that rare but you can get around it, not sure if you've heard of it but it's called whisky di*k
cause of the alcohol dudes cant always get hard, if you cant I wouldn't stress to much, you can please her by going down on her and she'll like that just as much usually.
With foreplay it takes some practice, I'll be a little blunt on what I say so this comment doesnt get deleted.
Start of with some kissing and try and work with your hands, don't let them just aimlessly hang, hold her waist/back or head, hold her basically to get a bit of stimulation going, after this point u usually have your cloths off and gear out, carry on kissing and slowly work your way down kissing her body, when you get down to the flower don't get straight in, kiss around and maybe breath on it a little to get her wanting more, slowly I repeat slowly work on her flower, just lick and kiss and then you can bring hand work in, I don't really wanna say anymore at risk of the comment getting deleted, but if u need more help just search it up, there will be stuff out there to help.
I would highly suggest getting lube as it'll add a taste and makes s** a lot easier its saved me a fair few times. Ultimately though if your planning on getting with someone try and avoid drinking large amounts, but remember don't go to a club expecting to pull someone that night as it could leave you dissatisfied. Uni is new ground for lots to explore so just remember at the end of the day to enjoy yourself 👌
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UWS
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You probably won't see this girl again so you don't worry about that.

I would probably try to sober up first, trying to get it up while drunk is pretty difficult.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This has happened to myself before it's not that rare but you can get around it, not sure if you've heard of it but it's called whisky di*k
cause of the alcohol dudes cant always get hard, if you cant I wouldn't stress to much, you can please her by going down on her and she'll like that just as much usually.
With foreplay it takes some practice, I'll be a little blunt on what I say so this comment doesnt get deleted.
Start of with some kissing and try and work with your hands, don't let them just aimlessly hang, hold her waist/back or head, hold her basically to get a bit of stimulation going, after this point u usually have your cloths off and gear out, carry on kissing and slowly work your way down kissing her body, when you get down to the flower don't get straight in, kiss around and maybe breath on it a little to get her wanting more, slowly I repeat slowly work on her flower, just lick and kiss and then you can bring hand work in, I don't really wanna say anymore at risk of the comment getting deleted, but if u need more help just search it up, there will be stuff out there to help.
I would highly suggest getting lube as it'll add a taste and makes s** a lot easier its saved me a fair few times. Ultimately though if your planning on getting with someone try and avoid drinking large amounts, but remember don't go to a club expecting to pull someone that night as it could leave you dissatisfied. Uni is new ground for lots to explore so just remember at the end of the day to enjoy yourself 👌
Yh when I was drunk I just went straight for it with barley any foreplay lol. And I've never gone down on a girl before so was hesitant and didn't do it out of fear of doing it wrong

(Original post by UWS)
You probably won't see this girl again so you don't worry about that.

I would probably try to sober up first, trying to get it up while drunk is pretty difficult.
Past couple days we've been hanging out with the same little group before going out so I think will see her again unless she decides to avoid me.
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UWS
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Past couple days we've been hanging out with the same little group before going out so I think will see her again unless she decides to avoid me.
Even if you did, you had a one night stand so it's not like you had anything to begin with.
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Welshvisitor
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You were wasted and she knows it. Relax, she’ll know that it was the alcohol that ruined your performance.
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Lilli22
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It was just a one night stand but since it was my first time and it ended mid way through, I kind of want to get back together and go again this time when im not stupid drunk. She's not exactly far from me and it would just be a matter of calling her to my room to talk about the night and see where we go from there. Would this be a bad move?
Probably. Usually, with one night stands it's just a one time thing (as the name would suggest). It depends if she's interested or not.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yh when I was drunk I just went straight for it with barley any foreplay lol. And I've never gone down on a girl before so was hesitant and didn't do it out of fear of doing it wrong


Past couple days we've been hanging out with the same little group before going out so I think will see her again unless she decides to avoid me.
I have a rule of thumb. The first time I make love with a woman, my penis does not make an appearance - if I can help it - until at least one hour into our love making session.

The first time is a very special event. Make it so. Make it an 11 course gourmet dinner. Not a 5 minute Happy Meal from McDonalds!

Poor lass. I can't blame her for leaving disappointed.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
I have a rule of thumb. The first time I make love with a woman, my penis does not make an appearance - if I can help it - until at least one hour into our love making session.

The first time is a very special event. Make it so. Make it an 11 course gourmet dinner. Not a 5 minute Happy Meal from McDonalds!

Poor lass. I can't blame her for leaving disappointed.
She acted like a bit of a desperate Doreen and was totally classless herself. I don’t think she has the right to feel disappointed.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She acted like a bit of a desperate Doreen and was totally classless herself. I don’t think she has the right to feel disappointed.
That is a statement that is lacking in empathy for the young woman involved.

It doesn't matter what you think she has the right to. She's going to feel how she's going to feel.

The OP will have more chance of romantic success with her if he sees things from her point of view. Instead of turning this into some sort of judgemental competition as to who behaved with the least class.

And, in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with students doing a bit of sexual exploration during their first week at uni. And there's nothing wrong with either party leaving the bedroom early if they are not enjoying themselves enough.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
That is a statement that is lacking in empathy for the young woman involved.

It doesn't matter what you think she has the right to. She's going to feel how she's going to feel.

The OP will have more chance of romantic success with her if he sees things from her point of view. Instead of turning this into some sort of judgemental competition as to who behaved with the least class.

And, in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with students doing a bit of sexual exploration during their first week at uni. And there's nothing wrong with either party leaving the bedroom early if they are not enjoying themselves enough.
I have another worry, even though I couldn't properly get hard and finish, I am sure there was still some precum. We did not use a condom and she said she was on the pill.
I'm still worried about this, it's already awkward enough but should I message her asking if she did take the pill the next morning? It would be really awkward but I have to know
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Anonymous #4
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I'd tell her it was your first time. My girlfriend already knew it was my first time as I'd never had a girlfriend and I had just turned 16.

If you want to ask her about the pill you can. My girlfriend got pregnant because I didn't have a condom and she said she was taking the pill but then she forgot (this wasn't my first time though). I didn't ask her about the pill because I though everything would be fine.

Also don't worry about not getting hard because I worried about being bad (my girlfriend is older so she had sex with other guys before me) but she told me not to worry because I wasn't bad
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polish_bear_65
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(Original post by UWS)
You probably won't see this girl again so you don't worry about that.

I would probably try to sober up first, trying to get it up while drunk is pretty difficult.
I don't know if you can perform well being hammered. These two things just don't mix in my head. At least not on beer.
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Rock Fan
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Most of us guys have had it happen to us at some point
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