Is it normal to cry like a kid sometimes? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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Ive just been secretly crying for the past 2 hours about my life/or lack of it (I'm pushing 30, single, no kids, never had a social life (poor social skills) or proper sex and my only relationship has been a much older man which ended cause I didn't like sex lol) I have a career and have taken the place of a colleague who was very strong/good and I know I'm not living up to it. Just had an argument with my mum where she basically pointed out all my insecurities/said I'm nasty etc, I'm worried that I am.

Anyway just been feeling sorry for myself over it all thinking of a way out but now I feel fairly ok and ready to give life another go. Is this normal for someone of my age just crying for ages (Id never do it in front of anyone else) then feeling ok, its like a kid would do? I don't know why my life has turned out so abnormal.
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-Quava-
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Crying is perfectly normal. In fact, it's good to cry and get it out.

The reason why your single is because you have no social life.
And also, the reason why you are the way you are is because you have no self confidence in your self.
Your pushing 30, get up go to the gym, go and volunteer in your spare time to expose yourself to others and gain more social skills and perhaps consider moving elsewhere new with unfamiliar people.
That way you'll be able to start afresh and you'll be pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and you might meet someone.

Also, don't disrespect your mother. Mothers don't randomly stand there calling you out. You must have been pressing her buttons for the past few years to breaking point.
When you speak to your mother, speak to her with upmost respect.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by -Quava-)
Crying is perfectly normal. In fact, it's good to cry and get it out.

The reason why your single is because you have no social life.
And also, the reason why you are the way you are is because you have no self confidence in your self.
Your pushing 30, get up go to the gym, go and volunteer in your spare time to expose yourself to others and gain more social skills and perhaps consider moving elsewhere new with unfamiliar people.
That way you'll be able to start afresh and you'll be pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and you might meet someone.

Also, don't disrespect your mother. Mothers don't randomly stand there calling you out. You must have been pressing her buttons for the past few years to breaking point.
When you speak to your mother, speak to her with upmost respect.
Ive been a member of a athletic club since age 13 and know people there but somehow still don't haven actual friends (well I do have one sort of). Ive always been very quiet/shy and avoidant but I don't know how to change this. I have improved in this and what I've found is that I do chat etc to people but then I feel bored of acting/small talk after about 20 mins and want to be alone, obviously I don't just leave but i'l go very quiet and preoccupied in my own thoughts. I enjoy meaningful conversation but as I don't have any kids/am single Ive found that its difficult to have things in common and I'm pretty much ashamed to tell people I have pet rats lol if people are younger than me are discussing their kids.

I'l be honest arguments these days tend to start as my mum is sick of me asking her if she wants to go out. I like spending time with her and will drive etc its because I've no friends that I ask her but then she starts pointing out and shouting that she's sick of me asking her and that I need friends etc, which is true but I try. She is very introverted like me and doesn't have friends but she has sisters who she goes out with I have no siblings. But yea thats where the arguments begin. My life is a mess lol I'm ashamed but I've said the truth.
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-Quava-
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ive been a member of a athletic club since age 13 and know people there but somehow still don't haven actual friends (well I do have one sort of). Ive always been very quiet/shy and avoidant but I don't know how to change this. I have improved in this and what I've found is that I do chat etc to people but then I feel bored of acting/small talk after about 20 mins and want to be alone, obviously I don't just leave but i'l go very quiet and preoccupied in my own thoughts. I enjoy meaningful conversation but as I don't have any kids/am single Ive found that its difficult to have things in common and I'm pretty much ashamed to tell people I have pet rats lol if people are younger than me are discussing their kids.

I'l be honest arguments these days tend to start as my mum is sick of me asking her if she wants to go out. I like spending time with her and will drive etc its because I've no friends that I ask her but then she starts pointing out and shouting that she's sick of me asking her and that I need friends etc, which is true but I try. She is very introverted like me and doesn't have friends but she has sisters who she goes out with I have no siblings. But yea thats where the arguments begin. My life is a mess lol I'm ashamed but I've said the truth.
I'm an introvert as well.
I talk for a bit it gets energy draining after about 10 minutes and I usually itch to be on my own.
However, it's not an excuse to not have the life you want.

Is it that you want a partner and children?
Or do you prefer the way you are and the issue is that you're embarrassed to say?
If it is just that you're embarrassed you need to drop the embarrassment. This is the life you chose and the life you are comfortable and happy with so don't look at what other people are doing and comparing yourself.
If you actually don't like your life, then the first thing you need to do is work on yourself. If you change your mindset and work on parts of your personality and throw yourself in to situations you'll develop more and things will come together.
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londonmyst
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Crying occasionally is normal.
But acting like a small child having a tantrum and being a habitual crybaby is not.

It sounds like you are focusing on a lot of negativity, making comparisons between yourself and people with very different ambitions.
What sort of future do you want?
Five years from now what do you hope for- to be on the property ladder, married, children, achieved a specific career ambition.
Decide on the most useful steps do you need to take to achieve the things that you want.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by -Quava-)
I'm an introvert as well.
I talk for a bit it gets energy draining after about 10 minutes and I usually itch to be on my own.
However, it's not an excuse to not have the life you want.

Is it that you want a partner and children?
Or do you prefer the way you are and the issue is that you're embarrassed to say?
If it is just that you're embarrassed you need to drop the embarrassment. This is the life you chose and the life you are comfortable and happy with so don't look at what other people are doing and comparing yourself.
If you actually don't like your life, then the first thing you need to do is work on yourself. If you change your mindset and work on parts of your personality and throw yourself in to situations you'll develop more and things will come together.
Thanks, well I do want a partner as for kids id hate the thought of being pregnant so have resigned myself to a no. Having said this I do like my own company, don't like bed sharing etc so I'm not sure id make a great partner.

I have developed a little socially but there is just something off I think in the way I communicate with people I have been described as offish by people, I have a full time job so am always around people yet still can't communicate to the standards of others, I suppose I'm not very expressive and very monotone.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Crying occasionally is normal.
But acting like a small child having a tantrum and being a habitual crybaby is not.

It sounds like you are focusing on a lot of negativity, making comparisons between yourself and people with very different ambitions.
What sort of future do you want?
Five years from now what do you hope for- to be on the property ladder, married, children, achieved a specific career ambition.
Decide on the most useful steps do you need to take to achieve the things that you want.
Im about to buy a house next year, on my own and am worried about struggling financially. I suppose Id just like to be settled down with someone I like, be better in my career , a kid would be nice but I doubt it'l happen.
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Anonymous #2
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I'm sure it's normal because you're nearing thirty and you may feel, weird, like a jumble of emotions

But if you choose only too see the negatives, you only will see the negatives!

(Original post by Anonymous)
Ive just been secretly crying for the past 2 hours about my life/or lack of it (I'm pushing 30, single, no kids, never had a social life (poor social skills) or proper sex and my only relationship has been a much older man which ended cause I didn't like sex lol) I have a career and have taken the place of a colleague who was very strong/good and I know I'm not living up to it. Just had an argument with my mum where she basically pointed out all my insecurities/said I'm nasty etc, I'm worried that I am.

Anyway just been feeling sorry for myself over it all thinking of a way out but now I feel fairly ok and ready to give life another go. Is this normal for someone of my age just crying for ages (Id never do it in front of anyone else) then feeling ok, its like a kid would do? I don't know why my life has turned out so abnormal.
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999tigger
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ive just been secretly crying for the past 2 hours about my life/or lack of it (I'm pushing 30, single, no kids, never had a social life (poor social skills) or proper sex and my only relationship has been a much older man which ended cause I didn't like sex lol) I have a career and have taken the place of a colleague who was very strong/good and I know I'm not living up to it. Just had an argument with my mum where she basically pointed out all my insecurities/said I'm nasty etc, I'm worried that I am.

Anyway just been feeling sorry for myself over it all thinking of a way out but now I feel fairly ok and ready to give life another go. Is this normal for someone of my age just crying for ages (Id never do it in front of anyone else) then feeling ok, its like a kid would do? I don't know why my life has turned out so abnormal.
On what basis did she say you are nasty?

Crying is normal and just a way of dealing with the situation when emotions overwhelm you.
Some people do it more than others.

When you get your own place then you can make your own rules.
You can also start working on yourself.

I think everything starts with making friends with yourself by liking who you are.
If you dont like then change it.
Seems to me like you need to work on your self esteem.
Have more of an active strategy for the dating game.
Making the most of yourself.
Gaining confidence.
Being in control.

It isnt abnormal and many people have much more messed up lives that that. It could completely turn around in the space of a few years or it may not. In any event you should try and lead a life that makes you happy rather than one where you are unhappy and beating yourself up for it.
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londonmyst
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Im about to buy a house next year, on my own and am worried about struggling financially. I suppose Id just like to be settled down with someone I like, be better in my career , a kid would be nice but I doubt it'l happen.
Congratulations on your house purchasing plans.
Nearly everyone is feeling some anxiety over the future, Brexit impact and chaotic state of uk politics.
A child is always a possibility- whether by planned by ivf, adoption or unplanned when you are in a relationship.
The real question is what sort of guy are you interested in dating and how are you going to start looking for him.

Do you have dealbreakers for the type of guy that you would want to be in a relationship with?
For example- would you date a smoker, a vegan, a religious guy.
Any preferences about his job, education or politics.
What three things would you absolutely never put up with in a partner?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Congratulations on your house purchasing plans.
Nearly everyone is feeling some anxiety over the future, Brexit impact and chaotic state of uk politics.
A child is always a possibility- whether by planned by ivf, adoption or unplanned when you are in a relationship.
The real question is what sort of guy are you interested in dating and how are you going to start looking for him.

Do you have dealbreakers for the type of guy that you would want to be in a relationship with?
For example- would you date a smoker, a vegan, a religious guy.
Any preferences about his job, education or politics.
What three things would you absolutely never put up with in a partner?
Thanks, I thought rather than wait for a partner I might as well get on the property ladder. Ideally Id like a guy who is open minded/has a lot of patience as I think I can be quite hard to live with I hate tv's being too loud and aunt great at bedsharing lol. I wouldn't care what job he had preferably someone in healthcare but again it wouldn't really matter. Preferably someone who keeps fit but its hard to say as you can make a list of things but then develop feelings for people who don't fit the description, its what I've found anyway.
As for dealbreakers if I could be picky then id probably not be keen on a smoker. Also someone who is cruel to/dislikes animals I don't think id get on with. Also someone who is very controlling i.e. would sulk if I decided to try something new like a new sport (I've had this in the past).
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londonmyst
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks, I thought rather than wait for a partner I might as well get on the property ladder. Ideally Id like a guy who is open minded/has a lot of patience as I think I can be quite hard to live with I hate tv's being too loud and aunt great at bedsharing lol. I wouldn't care what job he had preferably someone in healthcare but again it wouldn't really matter. Preferably someone who keeps fit but its hard to say as you can make a list of things but then develop feelings for people who don't fit the description, its what I've found anyway.
As for dealbreakers if I could be picky then id probably not be keen on a smoker. Also someone who is cruel to/dislikes animals I don't think id get on with. Also someone who is very controlling i.e. would sulk if I decided to try something new like a new sport (I've had this in the past).
Have you ever used Badoo?
I use the site only for chat and to make new friends but still getting dozens of single guys asking to meet me every time I logon.
I'm average looking, 5'1 and happy single.
You might want to consider using the site just to make new friends and get used to chatting with guys- you can filter by age range.

Remember to have three dating deal breakers for things you absolutely do not want- that you always stick to no matter what.
Mine are no guys into porn, no religious cranks and no guy who is scared of/hates dogs.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Have you ever used Badoo?
I use the site only for chat and to make new friends but still getting dozens of single guys asking to meet me every time I logon.
I'm average looking, 5'1 and happy single.
You might want to consider using the site just to make new friends and get used to chatting with guys- you can filter by age range.

Remember to have three dating deal breakers for things you absolutely do not want- that you always stick to no matter what.
Mine are no guys into porn, no religious cranks and no guy who is scared of/hates dogs.
No Ive noticed badoo but Ive just had a look on it and seen a load of people on there I know from my athletic club : D One of them is a very popular lad don't know why he is on, unless he wants to play the field a bit. Is it mainly known mainly for dating then or for making friends? I was scared of putting myself on tinder etc having dated a much older man and received odd looks I didn't want to get myself a reputation. I'l have a think about registering on that site though thanks

The no porn deal breaker is a good one, though I thought it was very popular among men on the quiet whether we like it or not. Its great that you are happy single its good to be like this in case relationships break up its a good trait to have when coping etc.
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londonmyst
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No Ive noticed badoo but Ive just had a look on it and seen a load of people on there I know from my athletic club : D One of them is a very popular lad don't know why he is on, unless he wants to play the field a bit. Is it mainly known mainly for dating then or for making friends? I was scared of putting myself on tinder etc having dated a much older man and received odd looks I didn't want to get myself a reputation. I'l have a think about registering on that site though thanks

The no porn deal breaker is a good one, though I thought it was very popular among men on the quiet whether we like it or not. Its great that you are happy single its good to be like this in case relationships break up its a good trait to have when coping etc.
I've been single since I was 19, very sordid breakup with a guy in his 40s.
I've only ever dated older guys, never a guy in hi 20s.

Badoo is mainly know for chatting and dating, I selected the 'chat and make friends' option.
Made plenty of friends with similar hobbies, guys and a few women too.
Tinder is a horrid environment, even by hookup app standards.
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