Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
its been three days of freshers so far and i just hate it
everyone in my building (i live in private halls) are either second/third years who dont talk to anyone, or first years who just like to party every night and go on about how many people theyve shagged, which makes me uncomfortable - im more of a stay in and watch bake off, be in bed by 10 kind of girl
i dont feel safe in my accomodation either - the security is ****, apparently there was a random guy who came into the common room a few nights ago after following people in, the doors with the key fob system on are left open basically all the time so anyone can just walk in in theory
most people do drugs and just generally i dont trust anyone, lads keep running up and down my floor and shouting and slamming doors and it scares me, im naturally quite an anxious person anyway and having things out of my control or unfamiliar to me really dont sit well with me
ive made one sort of friend with the girl next door to me but we dont have anything in common, once she realised i dont really drink or go out i think shes got a bit bored of me tbh
ive made some friends on my uni course though, but every time ive agreed to go out with them i end up getting upset and crying about hating it here and then canceling
i enjoy going out and exploring in the day time, and the freshers events in the day have been a bit sparse, but the ones ive gone to have been fun
my induction starts tomorrow and im terrified, because ive heard some things about some of my other course mates and apparently theres drama between my friends and them and also theyre just intimidating apparently.

i ****ing hate it and would rather go home to my boring life where i didnt do anything because so far all ive done is cry every night and get stressed out all the time, and my parents are basically telling me to just stick it out, but i know for a fact it wont get any better
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ecolier
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
...
I am sorry to hear this. I suspect living in private halls may have contributed.

I personally lived in Uni catered halls in first year - I thought it would have been a safe bet and luckily it was (all my course mates were there).

Remember, you are in Uni (primarily!) to study, not to make friends etc. Those are all bonusses.

If it's only the accommodation, can you ask if you can swap with anyone? If not - if it's safe see if you can minimise the time there by studying in the campus until later?

Good luck.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by ecolier)
I am sorry to hear this. I suspect living in private halls may have contributed.

I personally lived in Uni catered halls in first year - I thought it would have been a safe bet and luckily it was (all my course mates were there).

Remember, you are in Uni (primarily!) to study, not to make friends etc. Those are all bonusses.

If it's only the accommodation, can you ask if you can swap with anyone? If not - if it's safe see if you can minimise the time there by studying in the campus until later?

Good luck.
i ran out of time to get uni halls because another uni didnt send me their offer, so i had to go private unfortunately
i cant really swap halls, id have to find somebody to move in to my room, and then find somewhere available for me to live
plus theres the added risk of it being the exact same somewhere else

i just hate it, i was excited to get here but now im here i regret it so so much
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ecolier
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(Original post by Anonymous)
...i just hate it, i was excited to get here but now im here i regret it so so much
Well uni terms are not that long - by mid December you'll be back home again.

You can minimise the time spent there by going home on the weekends?

If you stay at the campus until later every day, then the actual time spent at your accommodation isn't that much - look on the bright side! (It's hard I understand)

Perhaps when term starts properly, these people will calm down a bit. :crossedf:
Last edited by ecolier; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #2
#5
Report 4 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
its been three days of freshers so far and i just hate it
everyone in my building (i live in private halls) are either second/third years who dont talk to anyone, or first years who just like to party every night and go on about how many people theyve shagged, which makes me uncomfortable - im more of a stay in and watch bake off, be in bed by 10 kind of girl
i dont feel safe in my accomodation either - the security is ****, apparently there was a random guy who came into the common room a few nights ago after following people in, the doors with the key fob system on are left open basically all the time so anyone can just walk in in theory
most people do drugs and just generally i dont trust anyone, lads keep running up and down my floor and shouting and slamming doors and it scares me, im naturally quite an anxious person anyway and having things out of my control or unfamiliar to me really dont sit well with me
ive made one sort of friend with the girl next door to me but we dont have anything in common, once she realised i dont really drink or go out i think shes got a bit bored of me tbh
ive made some friends on my uni course though, but every time ive agreed to go out with them i end up getting upset and crying about hating it here and then canceling
i enjoy going out and exploring in the day time, and the freshers events in the day have been a bit sparse, but the ones ive gone to have been fun
my induction starts tomorrow and im terrified, because ive heard some things about some of my other course mates and apparently theres drama between my friends and them and also theyre just intimidating apparently.

i ****ing hate it and would rather go home to my boring life where i didnt do anything because so far all ive done is cry every night and get stressed out all the time, and my parents are basically telling me to just stick it out, but i know for a fact it wont get any better
Don't worry I'm in pretty much the same situation and I'm in university halls. If you believe it won't get better, then it won't. You just have to be patient for as long as it takes. And if you've already made some friends on your course you're doing great. You'll eventually become accustomed to the new environment and won't feel so anxious all the time. In the meantime you just have to wait it out.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Don't worry I'm in pretty much the same situation and I'm in university halls. If you believe it won't get better, then it won't. You just have to be patient for as long as it takes. And if you've already made some friends on your course you're doing great. You'll eventually become accustomed to the new environment and won't feel so anxious all the time. In the meantime you just have to wait it out.
its reassuring that at least one person is like this, thanks
and i hope so! i really just want to fast forward to second year when i know what im doing and am in my own flat with my own people you know?
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ChazCL
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Haha I think you and I are in the same building 😂 Lit the same thing happened in my private accommodation this week where some random guys strolled into the main common room reception area without having a key fob, and most people on my floor party really hard, which I don't mind but it does get a bit irritating some nights cause of how loud they shout and slam the doors all night and every night... Also I've attended some of these parties to try and get to know people but everyone is actually really boring. No-one wants to have an actual conversation, all they just seem to do is yell, or like you said only briefly talk when it's about cocaine, shagging etc Nevertheless, I'm sure it'll get better soon. It does takes time to get to know people and settle into uni - but once you do many people say of how great of an experience it is.
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Anonymous #2
#8
Report 4 weeks ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
its reassuring that at least one person is like this, thanks
and i hope so! i really just want to fast forward to second year when i know what im doing and am in my own flat with my own people you know?
Yh I have the same feeling. Just hang in there I guess. Everything takes time.
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wonderland.16
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#9
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I'm now in my 3rd year, and I had a similar-ish experience in my first year. I was on campus in halls, but the people there were so unlike me. They too were out all the time (at the beginning), drinking, noisy, banging on my door at 4am etc (dangerous for me due to health). For me at least, it did get better. After freshers they chilled out a lot, and then throughout the year everything was so much calmer. I hope this will be the case for you too.

I too was very anxious, I considered dropping out more than I care to recall. But once lectures started and I had something else to focus upon, it really helped. My biggest tip: do not compare your social/living/general life with others at uni. This is what made me want to leave the most, but acknowledging that not everyone is socially inclined in the same way is important. Take time to do you, but also at least form some friendships/acquaintances so that you have the opportunity to be social.

It's really good that you've attended daytime social events (they don't even really exist here so appreciate them!) and enjoy exploring the area. I don't know the area you are in obviously, but maybe find somewhere that you can go (safely) to relax/get away for a bit. For me, there is a local beach/woodland that I go to. It really does help as each time I visit I associate the place with feeling calm(er).

Unfortunately I cannot give any advice regarding your accommodation/living situation as I haven't experienced anything like this. Just make sure you are safe. If you feel unsafe or are unsafe at any time, contact your student services, I am sure they will support you if and when needed.

I really hope everything improves for you soon. All the best.
Last edited by wonderland.16; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #3
#10
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#10
Thank god I chose to rent privately instead of halls. ****ing hell
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Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by ChazCL)
Haha I think you and I are in the same building 😂 Lit the same thing happened in my private accommodation this week where some random guys strolled into the main common room reception area without having a key fob, and most people on my floor party really hard, which I don't mind but it does get a bit irritating some nights cause of how loud they shout and slam the doors all night and every night... Also I've attended some of these parties to try and get to know people but everyone is actually really boring. No-one wants to have an actual conversation, all they just seem to do is yell, or like you said only briefly talk when it's about cocaine, shagging etc Nevertheless, I'm sure it'll get better soon. It does takes time to get to know people and settle into uni - but once you do many people say of how great of an experience it is.
which uni do you go to?
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Anonymous #4
#12
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#12
I felt the same I just stayed a loner
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Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by wonderland.16)
I'm now in my 3rd year, and I had a similar-ish experience in my first year. I was on campus in halls, but the people there were so unlike me. They too were out all the time (at the beginning), drinking, noisy, banging on my door at 4am etc (dangerous for me due to health). For me at least, it did get better. After freshers they chilled out a lot, and then throughout the year everything was so much calmer. I hope this will be the case for you too.

I too was very anxious, I considered dropping out more than I care to recall. But once lectures started and I had something else to focus upon, it really helped. My biggest tip: do not compare your social/living/general life with others at uni. This is what made me want to leave the most, but acknowledging that not everyone is socially inclined in the same way is important. Take time to do you, but also at least form some friendships/acquaintances so that you have the opportunity to be social.

It's really good that you've attended daytime social events (they don't even really exist here so appreciate them!) and enjoy exploring the area. I don't know the area you are in obviously, but maybe find somewhere that you can go (safely) to relax/get away for a bit. For me, there is a local beach/woodland that I go to. It really does help as each time I visit I associate the place with feeling calm(er).

Unfortunately I cannot give any advice regarding your accommodation/living situation as I haven't experienced anything like this. Just make sure you are safe. If you feel unsafe or are unsafe at any time, contact your student services, I am sure they will support you if and when needed.

I really hope everything improves for you soon. All the best.
thank you so much, i really hope everything settles after freshers, it should do
theres a little park next to my uni building which im hoping is nice, i havent really explored too much there but ive heard from my friends is gorgeous - looks like ill be spending all my time there!
i went to my course induction today and i really liked it, im feeling a lot more positive today, its the first time i so far i havent had a little crisis, so thank you to everybody who helped!
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wonderland.16
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
thank you so much, i really hope everything settles after freshers, it should do
theres a little park next to my uni building which im hoping is nice, i havent really explored too much there but ive heard from my friends is gorgeous - looks like ill be spending all my time there!
i went to my course induction today and i really liked it, im feeling a lot more positive today, its the first time i so far i havent had a little crisis, so thank you to everybody who helped!
Good luck, hope everything goes well for you!
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Aberystwyth University Student Ambassador
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
its been three days of freshers so far and i just hate it
everyone in my building (i live in private halls) are either second/third years who dont talk to anyone, or first years who just like to party every night and go on about how many people theyve shagged, which makes me uncomfortable - im more of a stay in and watch bake off, be in bed by 10 kind of girl
i dont feel safe in my accomodation either - the security is ****, apparently there was a random guy who came into the common room a few nights ago after following people in, the doors with the key fob system on are left open basically all the time so anyone can just walk in in theory
most people do drugs and just generally i dont trust anyone, lads keep running up and down my floor and shouting and slamming doors and it scares me, im naturally quite an anxious person anyway and having things out of my control or unfamiliar to me really dont sit well with me
ive made one sort of friend with the girl next door to me but we dont have anything in common, once she realised i dont really drink or go out i think shes got a bit bored of me tbh
ive made some friends on my uni course though, but every time ive agreed to go out with them i end up getting upset and crying about hating it here and then canceling
i enjoy going out and exploring in the day time, and the freshers events in the day have been a bit sparse, but the ones ive gone to have been fun
my induction starts tomorrow and im terrified, because ive heard some things about some of my other course mates and apparently theres drama between my friends and them and also theyre just intimidating apparently.

i ****ing hate it and would rather go home to my boring life where i didnt do anything because so far all ive done is cry every night and get stressed out all the time, and my parents are basically telling me to just stick it out, but i know for a fact it wont get any better
Hi there

I'm really sorry that you have not been enjoying your university experience so far. In terms of security, if people have been able to walk in and out of your accommodation space so easily then I would definitely recommend that you report this to your university or to the organisation which owns your accommodation if it is not owned by the university.

If you are unhappy with the arrangement of who you are living with and if you have found that your flat are too loud or not very respectful of those who are asleep when they get in late, this may also be worth mentioning to your university. It may also be worth looking at moving into a different flat. Again this is something which you would have to discuss with the owner of your accommodation, it may be worth explaining your situation to them, explaining that you feel unsafe and uncomfortable and hopefully they will take action.

It sounds as though the people who you have met so far have been either a bit over exited about freshers week, moving to university and being away from home for the first time, or they're just people who you don't have a lot in common with. I would definitely suggest looking at the clubs and societies which your uni offers. Clubs and societies are a fantastic way of meeting like-minded people outside of your course and flat.

I hope this helps, please let me know if you have any questions or concerns which I would be able to help with

Eliza
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Anonymous #5
#16
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If you don’t mind me asking, what uni do you go to?
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Jiiny
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Wow I wish I had a flatmate like you. I don’t drink either or go clubbing, my flatmates are nice but they always like to bring loads of random people over and get super drunk in the kitchen making me scared to leave my room. Sucks even more that my room is right opposite the kitchen I’m more of a stay in my room listen to lofi and watch Brooklyn 99/ bake off whilst drinking hot chocolate.
Just hang in there, they should calm down after freshers week hopefully
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wonderland.16
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(Original post by Jiiny)
Wow I wish I had a flatmate like you. I don’t drink either or go clubbing, my flatmates are nice but they always like to bring loads of random people over and get super drunk in the kitchen making me scared to leave my room. Sucks even more that my room is right opposite the kitchen I’m more of a stay in my room listen to lofi and watch Brooklyn 99/ bake off whilst drinking hot chocolate.
Just hang in there, they should calm down after freshers week hopefully
I don't think I've ever related to a comment on here so much before 😂 I literally could have written this 😂
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Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#19
(Original post by Jiiny)
Wow I wish I had a flatmate like you. I don’t drink either or go clubbing, my flatmates are nice but they always like to bring loads of random people over and get super drunk in the kitchen making me scared to leave my room. Sucks even more that my room is right opposite the kitchen I’m more of a stay in my room listen to lofi and watch Brooklyn 99/ bake off whilst drinking hot chocolate.
Just hang in there, they should calm down after freshers week hopefully
we're like the same person haha, lo-fi beats and brooklyn 99 are the best
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Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
If you don’t mind me asking, what uni do you go to?
nottingham trent
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