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Pathway
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#81
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#81
(Original post by Ciel.)
i'm certain they are in my case. but people can be so ignorant. like, with their dumb suggestions about bipolar etc. which can be very frustrating. always low, huh? that sucks. i like my 'happy' moods, but more often than not, they're pretty disastrous. oh, and it depends. tbh normally i just take more valium, or have a couple of drinks. just to make everything feel less real. it's little stupid things sometimes.... eh, what can you do.
It's unfortunate, I think even a lot of psychiatrists don't realise what trauma can do to a person tbh. But the impact on the nervous system is a very real issue and can cause havoc elsewhere (e.g. digestion, sleep, heart, etc.). Trauma plays a massive role in MH issues, tbh, I wish people (including professionals) realised this and recognised it in their patients. I read a study about Adverse Childhood Experiences and those who had higher scores had higher rates of disease in adulthood. Sad when you think about it.

Yeah, but I am not even sure if my mood related issue is primarily mental health related (which it very well could be because CPTSD can cause consistently low moods or fluctuations in mood), or because of physical health or living situation...or whatever. It's likely a combination. It's funny because dissociation is something I deal with daily, but I'm unsure as to whether or not I prefer it. All I know is that when I am less dissociated I tend to have panic attacks and want to escape lol. But still even when dissociated at my "normal" levels I feel anxious and guilty all the time.

I guess happy/high moods can be quite bad if they remove inhibitions or cause you to take risks you wouldn't otherwise take, is that what you mean? I did learn about the window of tolerance thing at university not being "super hyped" or "completely out of it" (can't remember the correct terms), it's hard to stay in the middle of that, when your brain is constantly hyperaware of danger and protecting you at all costs. Not something I've mastered by any stretch of the imagination, and I think it'll take a long time for me to and I'd need to move out of here. Anyway, perhaps this is why you take things to make it feel less real/intense? I dunno, I am just thinking (well, typing) out loud.

Do you mean little things trigger you? I can relate to that. Think that's actually very common.
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Ciel.
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#82
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#82
(Original post by Pathway)
It's unfortunate, I think even a lot of psychiatrists don't realise what trauma can do to a person tbh. But the impact on the nervous system is a very real issue and can cause havoc elsewhere (e.g. digestion, sleep, heart, etc.). Trauma plays a massive role in MH issues, tbh, I wish people (including professionals) realised this and recognised it in their patients. I read a study about Adverse Childhood Experiences and those who had higher scores had higher rates of disease in adulthood. Sad when you think about it.

Yeah, but I am not even sure if my mood related issue is primarily mental health related (which it very well could be because CPTSD can cause consistently low moods or fluctuations in mood), or because of physical health or living situation...or whatever. It's likely a combination. It's funny because dissociation is something I deal with daily, but I'm unsure as to whether or not I prefer it. All I know is that when I am less dissociated I tend to have panic attacks and want to escape lol. But still even when dissociated at my "normal" levels I feel anxious and guilty all the time.

I guess happy/high moods can be quite bad if they remove inhibitions or cause you to take risks you wouldn't otherwise take, is that what you mean? I did learn about the window of tolerance thing at university not being "super hyped" or "completely out of it" (can't remember the correct terms), it's hard to stay in the middle of that, when your brain is constantly hyperaware of danger and protecting you at all costs. Not something I've mastered by any stretch of the imagination, and I think it'll take a long time for me to and I'd need to move out of here. Anyway, perhaps this is why you take things to make it feel less real/intense? I dunno, I am just thinking (well, typing) out loud.

Do you mean little things trigger you? I can relate to that. Think that's actually very common.
i think their entire approach is wrong. e.g, most available 'therapy' requires you to think about the event/events so that you can 'process' it and eventually desensitize yourself, and it makes zero sense to me. i can't imagine how tormenting yourself like that could possibly make things better. it will have the opposite effect. i don't believe their studies, like with edmr and stuff, they must be fake. or it's all placebo, idk. it's best to just try and avoid actively thinking about that memory/memories whenever possible. at least in my case.
yeah, your physical health can have a huge impact, too. so it probably is a combination.
ugh, brains are too complicated, lol.
yeah.. that's what i meant. anyway. thanks for the chat. need to try and catch some sleep, i'm tired af. hope things get better for you soon.
Last edited by Ciel.; 1 month ago
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Pathway
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#83
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#83
(Original post by Ciel.)
i think their entire approach is wrong. e.g, most available 'therapy' requires you to think about the event/events so that you can 'process' it and eventually desensitize yourself, and it makes zero sense to me. i can't imagine how tormenting yourself like this could possibly make things better. it will have the opposite effect. i don't believe their studies, like with edmr and stuff, they must be fake. or it's all placebo, idk. it's best to just try and avoid actively thinking about that memory/memories whenever possible. at least in my case.
yeah, your physical health can have a huge impact, too. so it probably is a combination.
ugh, brains are too complicated, lol.
yeah.. that's what i meant. anyway. thanks for the chat. need to try and catch some sleep, i'm tired af. hope things get better for you soon.
I suppose different things work for different people/different types of traumas? :dontknow:

Take care. Hope you are able to sleep well. Hope things get better for you soon too.
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Ciel.
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#84
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#84
(Original post by Pathway)
I suppose different things work for different people/different types of traumas? :dontknow:

Take care. Hope you are able to sleep well. Hope things get better for you soon too.
yeah, maybe. you too.
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Ciel.
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#85
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#85

i caan't sleep despite being on 3 different meds. my brain just doesn't want to. and i don't feel any better. i had a coughing fit so bad that i threw up earlier. gross. so tired of it, whyy. sleeping in th guest bedroom tonight, lol. he's too nice to say anything, but there's no way anyone would get a good nights sleep next to someone who is ****ing choking and dying next to him.
Last edited by Ciel.; 1 month ago
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Ciel.
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#86
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#86

okay, so i have 13 days to finish my art project. that's it. so, i think i'm gonna befriend my insomnia until then, and take full advantage of it. even tho i sorta desperately crave valium today. it makes life so much easier somehow.
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Ciel.
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#87
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#87
all men ever do is disappoint me, the only thing they're good for is sex. i wanna sleep but lately valium makes just me more grumpy than usual, ugh
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UGP1023
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#88
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#88
(Original post by Ciel.)
all men ever do is disappoint me, the only thing they're good for is sex. i wanna sleep but lately valium makes just me more grumpy than usual, ugh
How did your art project go?
And yes I agree with the statement about men ;-;
Last edited by UGP1023; 3 weeks ago
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Ciel.
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#89
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#89
(Original post by UGP1023)
How did your art project go?
And yes I agree with the statement about men ;-;
it's not done yet, i've had a busy couple of days.
sometimes i wish i was straight, i find i generally get along with women better than men. too bad i love **** so much.
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UGP1023
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#90
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#90
(Original post by Ciel.)
it's not done yet, i've had a busy couple of days.
sometimes i wish i was straight, i find i generally get along with women better than men. too bad i love **** so much.
I’m lucky I’m not straight
(I’m a woman btw)
I also get along with women WAY better than men, I’m not kidding when I say this but I have seriously not met a decent man yet
But I’m not leaving my house very often so that may be a part of the reason😂
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Ciel.
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#91
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#91

if my life doesn't drastically change by the end of the year, i'm calling it quits. i miss my old life. the past shapes the present, and the future, and there's no escape from it. i don't even want to sleep anymore.
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Pathway
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#92
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#92
(Original post by Ciel.)

if my life doesn't drastically change by the end of the year, i'm calling it quits. i miss my old life. the past shapes the present, and the future, and there's no escape from it. i don't even want to sleep anymore.
Here if you need someone to talk to.
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Ciel.
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#93
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#93
(Original post by Pathway)
Here if you need someone to talk to.
thanks, will keep that in mind.
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Ciel.
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#94
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#94

yes. also, i don't think i'll ever sleep again, i mean not without any sleep aid. it just doesn't seem possible.
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Ciel.
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#95
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#95

my shoulder is absolutely ****ing killing me today. and it's been what, 7, 8 months now. i should sue him. i can't sleep, despite being sleepy af thanks to valium. it's so bizarre, but in a nice sort of way.
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Pathway
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#96
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#96
(Original post by Ciel.)

my shoulder is absolutely ****ing killing me today. and it's been what, 7, 8 months now. i should sue him. i can't sleep, despite being sleepy af thanks to valium. it's so bizarre, but in a nice sort of way.
Relate to that. Sorry you're struggling recently.
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Ciel.
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#97
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#97
(Original post by Pathway)
Relate to that. Sorry you're struggling recently.
aww, hope things get better for you soon.
i need to find like a new series to watch or something, the boring ones sorta help me sleep, lol.
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Pathway
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#98
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#98
(Original post by Ciel.)
aww, hope things get better for you soon.
i need to find like a new series to watch or something, the boring ones sorta help me sleep, lol.
I mean, they won't, it is what it is at this point lol. Did you ever have imaging done on your shoulder?

What things do you enjoy watching?
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12115
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#99
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#99
Hi, anyone up?
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Ciel.
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#100
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#100
(Original post by Pathway)
I mean, they won't, it is what it is at this point lol. Did you ever have imaging done on your shoulder?

What things do you enjoy watching?
same here tbh. the whole thing about time making things easier is a lie. there's no difference between now and years ago. oh yeah, an x ray initially.
hmm. fantasy and paranormal horror stuff. and comedies. some sci fi is alright, you?
(Original post by 12115)
Hi, anyone up?
yesss.
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