Should i take my hijab off

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Anonymous #1
#1
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My dad forces me to wear a hijab and abaya (islamic dress) when I don't want to and I'm not ready. He has stopped dropping me off to university and that's why I was wondering if it is worth getting changed in the bathroom and taking my scarf off then putting it back on before i go home, because it's already been 2 weeks since i started uni so I'm worried that people will think badly of me cos they've seen me dress islamically for 2 weeks and then I'm suddenly going to take it off so I guess people might chat **** about me? need some advice
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ProbablyPallas
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My dad forces me to wear a hijab and abaya (islamic dress) when I don't want to and I'm not ready. He has stopped dropping me off to university and that's why I was wondering if it is worth getting changed in the bathroom and taking my scarf off then putting it back on before i go home, because it's already been 2 weeks since i started uni so I'm worried that people will think badly of me cos they've seen me dress islamically for 2 weeks and then I'm suddenly going to take it off so I guess people might chat **** about me? need some advice
If you don't want to wear it, don't wear it. You're over 18 he has no control over you.
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Anonymous #2
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Take it off if you don’t want to wear it, just make sure you put it back on before you go home if he will be unreasonable about it
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HumbleBee_x
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don't wear it, Inshallah when you're ready. Noone can force you into it
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londonmyst
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If that is what you want.
Fashion and religion are a matter of personal choice.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ProbablyPallas)
If you don't want to wear it, don't wear it. You're over 18 he has no control over you.
Yeah as I said I was thinking of taking it off at uni but I'm just worried what people in my class will think when i suddenly start turning up without one
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ProbablyPallas
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah as I said I was thinking of taking it off at uni but I'm just worried what people in my class will think when i suddenly start turning up without one
Chances are they literally won't notice or care.
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Marymelon123
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As someone who wears the hijab without an abaya id like to remind you that it should be 100% your choice as to whether or not you want to cover up. If you’re wearing it to please your father and not Allah you aren’t going to gain sawaab in the first place.

The hijab is a personal journey and should not be forced upon anyone. Your father shouldn’t be doing so and I think you should talk to him about it if possible.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah as I said I was thinking of taking it off at uni but I'm just worried what people in my class will think when i suddenly start turning up without one
Even if they did, which I really doubt it, does it really matter? Others are saying that don't worry no one will notice but that doesn't tackle the root of the problem, which is you pointlessly worrying about what others will think if you take off the hijab, why should you even care what they think? I know it isn't easy but all it will do is make you feel needlessly bad. If you don't want to wear hijab then don't (and I also commend you for your bravery, it isn't an easy choice to even consider). But I will not tell you to stop wearing hijab in front of your family as it is up to you to weigh the risks and benefits. Also, hijab may seem like a 'choice' but in Islam, it is compulsory at your age to wear the hijab so think about whether you truly agree with this.
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学生の父
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah as I said I was thinking of taking it off at uni but I'm just worried what people in my class will think when i suddenly start turning up without one
Even if they noticed --- which isn't a foregone conclusion --- I don't think they would be troubled by it. The question, essentially, is what are you most comfortable with? It seems that you see no disconnect between behaving one way in one sphere --- at university --- and another way in an another sphere --- when you're in public with your father.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling conflicted here either. After all, you are taking a big step at the beginning of your university career. Perhaps you feel that uni is not the place for your traditional religious dress? The only advice I can give as a father (admittedly a Christian one) is, to quite Polonius (Hamlet I iii): "This above all: to thine own self be true".

It would probably disturb me if and when my daughters suddenly turn their backs on something from their upbringing, but I do know they may do that. But then, I know that deep down I have brought them thus far; now it's their turn.

I can't pretend to second guess your own father's reaction, but I suspect that he too must know that you will be different in some ways, similar in other ways, identical in many ways to your parents' generation. The fact that you haven't ditched the traditional clothes entirely suggests to me that you have similar responses to these issues --- and I guess sooner or later you might find yourself in a similar quandary with the next generation!

I'm sorry there are no easy answers in this maze we call life. Honour your heritage your own way, walk your own path today, and show to tomorrow's children where goodness truly lies.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 学生の父)
Even if they noticed --- which isn't a foregone conclusion --- I don't think they would be troubled by it. The question, essentially, is what are you most comfortable with? It seems that you see no disconnect between behaving one way in one sphere --- at university --- and another way in an another sphere --- when you're in public with your father.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling conflicted here either. After all, you are taking a big step at the beginning of your university career. Perhaps you feel that uni is not the place for your traditional religious dress? The only advice I can give as a father (admittedly a Christian one) is, to quite Polonius (Hamlet I iii): "This above all: to thine own self be true".

It would probably disturb me if and when my daughters suddenly turn their backs on something from their upbringing, but I do know they may do that. But then, I know that deep down I have brought them thus far; now it's their turn.

I can't pretend to second guess your own father's reaction, but I suspect that he too must know that you will be different in some ways, similar in other ways, identical in many ways to your parents' generation. The fact that you haven't ditched the traditional clothes entirely suggests to me that you have similar responses to these issues --- and I guess sooner or later you might find yourself in a similar quandary with the next generation!

I'm sorry there are no easy answers in this maze we call life. Honour your heritage your own way, walk your own path today, and show to tomorrow's children where goodness truly lies.
to be honest my dad is super strict islamically and culturally so if I told him i wanted to take it off he wouldn't be having any of it. i never took it off at college because i went to a local college so there were a lot of people that knew my family who go there who might have told my dad. however university is a massive place with nobody who knows my family in my class - which is why i feel comfortable taking it off without my dad finding out.
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doggos
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I would do what you want to. If Islam isn't your chosen faith, or you don't want to be open about it, it is your choice, not your father's. It is your own opinion and no-one should challenge you bout it
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Anonymous #4
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Report 9 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My dad forces me to wear a hijab and abaya (islamic dress) when I don't want to and I'm not ready. He has stopped dropping me off to university and that's why I was wondering if it is worth getting changed in the bathroom and taking my scarf off then putting it back on before i go home, because it's already been 2 weeks since i started uni so I'm worried that people will think badly of me cos they've seen me dress islamically for 2 weeks and then I'm suddenly going to take it off so I guess people might chat **** about me? need some advice
Its okay I used to wear islamic clothing too when I left islam i removed them and nobody cared
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