How to find a 'group at uni'. No proper friends at uni - just acquaintances

So i'm in 2nd year, and I still don't have a solid 'group' of friends. The people I consider my closest friends at uni are part of their own friendship groups, so I feel like a bit of an outsider to these groups. I'm fairly sociable so I get along with a lot of people I meet, but this just results in lots of acquaintances from all over the place (coursemates, society mates etc.), and each one of these acquaintances seem to have groups of their own.

I should mention that in 1st year, I didn't really click with my flatmates - they were all nice, but none of them were the sort of people I would become best mates with, so this is perhaps why I havent been part of a 'group' since starting 1st year.

I'm just so fed up of feeling like a floater between different people at uni, and I just wish I had a group of my own who I would go out with / hang out with most of the time. It just seems like everyone else just gets along with their flatmates and so forms a group with them and lives with them in 2nd year, whilst I am just by myself as I didnt get along with mine. I would be fine with having friends from all over the place, as long as I had a solid group as well.

I find myself constantly thinking 'I wonder if I could live with this person next year' when I meet someone new, as I'm scared of having noone to live with next year. I just want to have a house with a close group of friends, not just acquaintances as I am living with now.

I have started a new course this year, so I have basically started 1st year again, and I am really hoping to find a solid group of friends to live with in '2nd year'.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Has anyone had a similar experience to me? How can I find a 'group' at uni? I feel like I need to make more of an effort to become friends with people as I have no flatmate group to go off?

thanks.

Reply 1

bodakyell0w

Omg I know exactly how you feel. I start 2nd year next month and I’m just hoping to go as a changed individual in terms of how I interact with people, I told myself I’m going to be more active in engaging with people by joining as many societies and hopefully meet people through there. I was like you about thinking if the next person I approach could be my flat mate. I have no friends whatsoever but I’m optimistic that everything will change and be a lot more positive. I don’t even have one person who I can classify as a friend not alone find a group.
In my first year of uni it was hell I totally felt like a tag a long when I hanged around people in my course,I lived in halls and didn’t really connect with my flat mates as much as I thought I would. I just felt like a tag along to anyone I was with, even in group projects they’d be those who get on well with each other and I’ll just be sitting emotionally alone wishing I had that connection with someone. I am still in the midst of looking for a student Accommodation and most of them will be affiliated with universities nearby, so I’ll be coming in as an outcast who goes from a different uni. I don’t know who I’ll be living with, I don’t know what they’ll be like, I don’t know if they will even be open to making new friends.. as I hope to be friends with people I live with otherwise I’ll just miserable. I need as much guidance and help as possible just like you, but good luck to you and I hope you find your group of friends just like I hope to find mine.

Reply 2

hallamstudents

Official Rep

Hey!

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I can sympathise, massively. It's hard to make a long-lasting relationship without forcing it. Main thing I realised in second year is you have to make an effort. People on my course were acquaintances until I made the effort to speak to them more and more. Then I got invited places, or I would do the inviting.

Eventually lead to me making some really good friends who I count on for a lot.

Hope this helps! :biggrin:

How to find a 'group at uni'. No proper friends at uni - just acquaintances

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