a first year feeling lonely at uni

i go to the university of hertfordshire, and i know it’s not even been a week but i feel quite lonely. everyone already seems to have friends, and i do get on well w/ flat mates but so far i haven’t really clicked with anyone and it’s really putting a downer on my experience here. i’ve got social anxiety so i haven’t been out to freshers events. anyone else in the same boat?

Reply 1

lavenderpearl

Heyy I feel the same. Im in first week at Sheffield Hallam and have met lots of friendly people but somehow havnt met anyone who i have enough in common with to hang out with. I met up with a couple of people at the start of the week and enjoyed it but they seem uninterested and never start conversations. Im also not into clubbing so thats something that may be limiting the amount of people who would want to be friends since everyone seems to be talking about clubbing and being hungover.

University of Hertfordshire

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Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Same and I see everyone going out with friends and everyone seems close already and I feel rrly detached

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I think it will get better with time. Just think it's only been a couple of weeks and that's a short amount of time to make any new relationships with people. Friends can be made naturally and you'll find you'll make more friends when you mingle more in your course, dont worry though because teachers will tend to put you in different groups to mingle!!

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

I'm in your same exact situation, hoping it will improve

Reply 5

University of Hertfordshire

Official Rep

Original post by shaykali

Original post by Anonymous

Same and I see everyone going out with friends and everyone seems close already and I feel rrly detached

Original post by Anonymous

I'm in your same exact situation, hoping it will improve

Hey @shaykali,

I'm so sorry to hear that's how you feel! The first few weeks at Uni can be so overwhelming. I myself didn't even come out of my room for a few days but now looking back, I see how far I have come and how things started to show up eventually. All support points at Uni are here to help you and I promise you you're not alone in this at all. Even though Freshers' events can seem like something you HAVE TO part take in to not miss out, you don't have to at all; instead, you could try something like the movie night on de Hav tonight where there's limited interaction, yet a lot of opportunities for you to just get out there. Get in touch with your RA as well, they know heaps of people and they might introduce you to more people who you could have a lot in common with. Freshers' Fair (tomorrow) is another good option - check out the range of societies on offer and volunteering opportunities and I'm sure you'd find something you're passionate about and consequently an opportunity to meet people who share the same passions as you. I'd also like to point you to our wellbeing services, where trained and professional staff members are there for you whenever you need it. Finally, the SU has introduced an amazing Buddy Scheme which might be worth checking out too! I hope everything will start looking up very soon for you - and @Herts UG Student Rep and I am here to signpost you or provide you with more information and support. Don't hesitate to keep in touch with us.

Let me know how things are as you go along :smile:

Chirasree

Reply 6

HertsExRep

Original post by shaykali

Original post by Anonymous

Same and I see everyone going out with friends and everyone seems close already and I feel rrly detached

Original post by Anonymous

I'm in your same exact situation, hoping it will improve

I certainly felt a bit isolated in my first week, but can confirm it gets better - during my 1st year freshers week, I did not go any nights out, in fact I think I only went on 1 the whole first Semester. By comparison, I am now in my 3rd year and have been out almost every night :eek:

Things like Elehouse Pub quiz are good ice breakers for flat mates. Also, did any of you guys make it to the freshers fair or find any societies you like?

Feel free to PM me if any of you would like any advice on anything, or would just like a chat :smile:

Reply 7

De Montfort University

Official Rep

Original post by shaykali

Hello,
I'm Jon Ellison from De Montfort Uni in Leicester. If it helps, and if you have Facebook, you could try joining a group in association with your uni.