The Optimal Strategy for Approaching Girls Watch

ANM775
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(Original post by ANM775)
Right, I didn't plan to do this ... but it is saturday today [and if it doesn't rain] and I am prepared to go out using my method and see what it yields. I am aiming to achieve a date in under 25 approaches. any by date I mean proper date, "Instant dates" don't count!

I may come back having not approached anybody, as somedays i might not get any looks from suitable girls, or anxiety may screw me over [I have not approached for a while]. Rash on face that I mentioned last week is slightly still there as well, which may effect results.

However, all approaches made will be logged.

due to the weather getting too cold I do not know how much days i'm going to do this [may have to pick it up again next year]. I've lost some gains through inactivety in the gym and look like i barely lift now, but i always sarge in a short sleaved shirt as showing you are at least somewhat in shape brings more attention than wearing a coat/jumper [where they can't tell]. As the weather is getting colder now, it becomes harder to go out in a short sleaved shirt. Personally I find below 13 degrees or less not plesant. I'm not one of these white people who loves the cold, I hate it!
update: went to the next town to do this as I don't like to do this sort of stuff in my home town.

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was not getting much looks at first, and soon started to feel chilly. Most of the looks i did get were girls who were blatently too young and most were with mothers too. A good oppertunity came with two girls who looked 18-21 when I was standing outside a store, they looked like they were checking me out, and one of them did turn back to look also. They went into the store. Anxiety had me at that point, but a few minutes later I was mentally ready to approach and was suppresing my anxiety. I planned to approach them as they exited the store.

The girls never came out of that store.

I waited a friggin hour till man was shivering in his short sleaved shirt before finally deciding f**k this i'm going home. But first I wanted to take a look in the store. did it have another exit I did not know about? So I went in the store and low and behold it was like twice as big as I thought it was and indeed had another exit. The girls must have gone out through there :/

Still hadn't got much looks at this point, and still most of the few looks i did get the girls looked like schoolgirls. Or women with their bf's [wtf]. I started heading home, and put a Jumper on because I was freezing. Then decided to stay a bit longer because I was getting a lot more girls checking me out for some reason. but again, these girls all were looking too young. I was not outside the store anymore and did not feel comfortable trying to move to girls that looked so young, and also it's much harder when you get an ioi when you're walking in opposite directions as you have about 2 seconds to approach or the oppertunity is gone.

eventually out of frustration i did one unsolicited "cold approach" on a woman who looked about 22. She seemed flattered but was not interested in taking things further. The cold approach was to try and get me warmed up and shake away my anxiety. i knew cold approaching her wouldn't lead anywhere.

Overall, a bit of a frustrating day. only 1 real oppertunity I had the ability to take, and I ended up getting screwed over by the 50/50 odds of her walking out the other exit.

tbh, that's the nature of the beast though with warm approach. You just gotta bide your time and wait for the suitable oppertunities. Had I spent my time there doing 5-10 cold approaches instead i'm sure at most I would have ended up with a flaky phone number so I don't have any regrets.
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Polymath0
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(Original post by ANM775)
also it's much harder when you get an ioi when you're walking in opposite directions as you have about 2 seconds to approach or the oppertunity is gone.
The opportunity does not pass unless you allow it. To assume that there is only a 2-second window of opportunity after the interest has been indicated is simply a fiction of your mind; an unjustified excuse to conceal a deep-rooted anxiety that will never be resolved with your method.
(Original post by ANM775)
eventually out of frustration i did one unsolicited "cold approach" on a woman who looked about 22. She seemed flattered but was not interested in taking things further. The cold approach was to try and get me warmed up and shake away my anxiety. i knew cold approaching her wouldn't lead anywhere.
This approach ought to have been performed right at the start of your session. Instead you relied on an incredibly unreliable method that caused you to squander valuable time and miss out on actual opportunities. That the bulk of the indeterminate indicators of interest you received were from those of whom you considered unsuitable only vindicates one of the objections I raised concerning the effectiveness of your strategy. Until and unless you change tack you will continue to outsource your power, walk on eggshells and be a disservice to your potential always.

I recommend the following video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iyf2GSj0Nq0
(Original post by ANM775)
tbh, that's the nature of the beast though with warm approach. You just gotta bide your time and wait for the suitable oppertunities. Had I spent my time there doing 5-10 cold approaches instead i'm sure at most I would have ended up with a flaky phone number so I don't have any regrets.
There are major blindspots apparent in your attitude. Firstly, in this session you had encountered no suitable opportunities except one that you lost because your method did not give you the tools necessary for an approach to be performed at the drop of a hat and in different environments. It takes a combination of frequency and volume to develop the mental muscle in order for the approach anxiety to dissipate. Secondly, to expect a higher rate of overall success from a handful of girls briefly looking in your direction is wishful thinking. Its success is strictly contingent to your interpretation of the brief look being unmistaken and for there to be a large volume of suitable girls. Since these conditions barely hold on any consistent basis, the most rational conclusion to draw is that your modus operandi is profoundly suboptimal in its capacity to yield positive results in a short space of time and in its ability to give you the tools necessary to build up your sense of inner worth. To operate from a place of self-worth means that you do not need to acquire abstract permission to perform an approach. Had you approached a high volume of girls in a short space of time, at the very least you'd have developed a degree of skill. Performed on a consistent basis, the conversion rate will automatically yield better odds in a short space of time. To avoid a future repeat of this abysmal experience, the need to feel validated in order to perform an approach must be put to an end.
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#23
Start off by asking whether or not they actually are a girl coz ya never know these days
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ANM775
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(Original post by Polymath0)
The opportunity does not pass unless you allow it. To assume that there is only a 2-second window of opportunity after the interest has been indicated is simply a fiction of your mind; an unjustified excuse to conceal a deep-rooted anxiety that will never be resolved with your method.

This approach ought to have been performed right at the start of your session. Instead you relied on an incredibly unreliable method that caused you to squander valuable time and miss out on actual opportunities. That the bulk of the indeterminate indicators of interest you received were from those of whom you considered unsuitable only vindicates one of the objections I raised concerning the effectiveness of your strategy. Until and unless you change tack you will continue to outsource your power, walk on eggshells and be a disservice to your potential always.

I recommend the following video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iyf2GSj0Nq0

There are major blindspots apparent in your attitude. Firstly, in this session you had encountered no suitable opportunities except one that you lost because your method did not give you the tools necessary for an approach to be performed at the drop of a hat and in different environments. It takes a combination of frequency and volume to develop the mental muscle in order for the approach anxiety to dissipate. Secondly, to expect a higher rate of overall success from a handful of girls briefly looking in your direction is wishful thinking. Its success is strictly contingent to your interpretation of the brief look being unmistaken and for there to be a large volume of suitable girls. Since these conditions barely hold on any consistent basis, the most rational conclusion to draw is that your modus operandi is profoundly suboptimal in its capacity to yield positive results in a short space of time and in its ability to give you the tools necessary to build up your sense of inner worth. To operate from a place of self-worth means that you do not need to acquire abstract permission to perform an approach. Had you approached a high volume of girls in a short space of time, at the very least you'd have developed a degree of skill. Performed on a consistent basis, the conversion rate will automatically yield better odds in a short space of time. To avoid a future repeat of this abysmal experience, the need to feel validated in order to perform an approach must be put to an end.

Why are you linking me to James Tusks video's?
A 9/10 white man who could get laid tommorow simply by posting a few selfies on Tinder?

Sorry, I will not take advice from him. and you shouldn't either as you are an ethnic too obviously going for a lot of girls outside your ethnicity.

Imo "game" does not work, or at most it works very rarely. The whole premise of "pick up" is supposed to be that you can get a girl romantically interested in you through "game" who otherwise wouldn't normally be interested in you. So why are you taking advice from a 9/10 white male who is visually surpassing the majority of womens looks requirements? it's stupid. He looks like he should be on Love Island. and you are niave to think you can EVER get anywhere near his results by following his advice.

You chastise me for 0 approaches, 0 numbers yesterday.. yet statistically speaking if you had gone out you would have done 10 approaches that wouldn't have a yielded a date either. and these instant dates don't count because a woman does not come to an "instant date" with even half the level of receptiveness to sexual advancements as she does to a proper date which is why the vast majority of "instant dates" yield at best a hug and a phone number.

If you want to be an approach monkey, get rejected hundreds of times and collect flaky phone numbers all day then cold approaching in the day is the way to go. If you'd like a little more than that, then it means being selective who you approach. I mentioned that I would be approaching considerably less than traditional cold approach because of how selective I was being and there is a possibilty I might not even do an approach ..so it really shouldn't surprise you.

I have not done any approaching for months, so it was a given I was not going to be able to do too many until i get used to it again and doing it more frequently. I would have done one warm approach under my method for sure if the girls had not gone out the other exit. I shall gladly apologise to you and old my hands up, if i'm on like 40 warm approaches and zero dates, zero nothing .. however I shall not concede if I have done 0 warm approaches and have 0 dates.

Do I need to remind you again of the time I was doing daygame during the day, was getting rejected left, right and centre [had about 5 rejections that day] and a girl cold approached me asking if i was single? ending up making out.. also with an invitation to her place etc.

That kind of unsolicited interest is rare during the day, but not as rare is a woman checking you out. which [if you go and talk to her] is going yield more than pure cold approaching.


Not sure when i'm next going to try this [I prefer saturdays], but I will post an update after I have done a few warm approaches.


Some may be unable to relate but I see many similaries with this with forex trading. You can go all gung ho taking every oppertunity the market throws at you that looks like the slightest chance of working out ...and you will end up loosing your shirt. because it's low probability. Or you can sit on your hands and wait for that perfect setup where everything lines up, and it will usually win. waiting for that perfect setup is frustating at times .. and there will be days where you've not seen anything you wish to take, but it pays to wait in the long run..., as when that oppertunity does come it's much more likely to succeed.
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Polymath0
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(Original post by ANM775)
Why are you linking me to James Tusks video's?
A 9/10 white man who could get laid tommorow simply by posting a few selfies on Tinder?
This is a fallacious argumentative strategy whereby the character of a person is attacked as a way to discredit the substance of the content. The video I linked has universal relevance as it concerns a productive mindset, which has no relevance to looks. It is a utility that benefits all irrespective of looks.

(Original post by ANM775)
Imo "game" does not work, or at most it works very rarely. The whole premise of "pick up" is supposed to be that you can get a girl romantically interested in you through "game" who otherwise wouldn't normally be interested in you.
Quite simply, I define game as the ability to read subtext and respond optimally to trigger a vibe conducive to one's goal. To have the advantageous skill of reframe that can develop an interaction on the foundation of value, intrigue and fun. In essence, it is an enhancement of social acuity to generate attraction in those girls who otherwise have the potential to be inclined, but require a larger sample of your personality.

(Original post by ANM775)
You chastise me for 0 approaches, 0 numbers yesterday.. yet statistically speaking if you had gone out you would have done 10 approaches that wouldn't have a yielded a date either.
There is a greater statistical probability of getting a date if one performs 10 approaches as opposed to no approaches at all.

(Original post by ANM775)
If you want to be an approach monkey, get rejected hundreds of times and collect flaky phone numbers all day then cold approaching in the day is the way to go. If you'd like a little more than that, then it means being selective who you approach. I mentioned that I would be approaching considerably less than traditional cold approach because of how selective I was being and there is a possibilty I might not even do an approach ..so it really shouldn't surprise you.
What occasions unpleasant surprise is your desire to cling to a strategy that fails drastically on every front: in its ability to cultivate unshakeable confidence, its time-efficiency and its success rate. To approach on a large scale does not eliminate the ability also to be selective, but it does eliminate the shortsighted notion that greater success is contingent to selectivity on a narrow criterion. It is plainly a statistical and logical error to equate your strategy with anything more than chronic dissatisfaction vis-a-vis the one I have proposed. At the heart of it, the philosophy of your method is an avoidant strategy to play not to lose rather than play to win.

(Original post by ANM775)
That kind of unsolicited interest is rare during the day, but not as rare is a woman checking you out. which [if you go and talk to her] is going yield more than pure cold approaching.
You have not registered the counterargument to this strategy at all. I shall repeat: to expect a higher rate of overall success from a handful of girls looking briefly in your direction is wishful thinking. Its success is dependant on the stares being an undeniable signal of attraction a majority of the time and for there to be a large volume of suitable girls checking you out. Since neither condition holds on any consistent basis, the most rational conclusion to draw is that your modus operandi is profoundly suboptimal.

(Original post by ANM775)
Some may be unable to relate but I see many similaries with this with forex trading. You can go all gung ho taking every oppertunity the market throws at you that looks like the slightest chance of working out ...and you will end up loosing your shirt. because it's low probability. Or you can sit on your hands and wait for that perfect setup where everything lines up, and it will usually win. waiting for that perfect setup is frustating at times .. and there will be days where you've not seen anything you wish to take, but it pays to wait in the long run..., as when that oppertunity does come it's much more likely to succeed.
Again, your analogies are appallingly flawed. In stock trading you have a finite pool of funds from which to make investments and thus it is financial imprudence to throw caution to the wind. Whereas in cold approach you have an abundance of opportunities to approach without any tangible downsides if the opportunities are taken in an overzealous manner. Time and energy do not run the adverse risks of money in the context of depletion. If you had a bank account that regenerated the money you spent the day prior, it would be idiotic not to go gung-ho.
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username1562597
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(Original post by ANM775)
his optimisation is sorely lacking the "human" aspects


Yes, whilst you might get a date or two, who wants to get rejected by 300+ girls in only 1 month!. We are not robots with no emotions.
Rejection is not plesant. Especially on the scale he's proposing.

You'd need some sort of training to be able to reach that rejection threshold. No normal person has that kind of rejection HP
It is a very odd way to find a partner.

Why not just get to know someone you like and then ask them out instead of going up to random people?
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gjd800
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hahaha
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ANM775
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(Original post by Polymath0)
This is a fallacious argumentative strategy whereby the character of a person is attacked as a way to discredit the substance of the content. The video I linked has universal relevance as it concerns a productive mindset, which has no relevance to looks. It is a utility that benefits all irrespective of looks.


Quite simply, I define game as the ability to read subtext and respond optimally to trigger a vibe conducive to one's goal. To have the advantageous skill of reframe that can develop an interaction on the foundation of value, intrigue and fun. In essence, it is an enhancement of social acuity to generate attraction in those girls who otherwise have the potential to be inclined, but require a larger sample of your personality.


There is a greater statistical probability of getting a date if one performs 10 approaches as opposed to no approaches at all.


What occasions unpleasant surprise is your desire to cling to a strategy that fails drastically on every front: in its ability to cultivate unshakeable confidence, its time-efficiency and its success rate. To approach on a large scale does not eliminate the ability also to be selective, but it does eliminate the shortsighted notion that greater success is contingent to selectivity on a narrow criterion. It is plainly a statistical and logical error to equate your strategy with anything more than chronic dissatisfaction vis-a-vis the one I have proposed. At the heart of it, the philosophy of your method is an avoidant strategy to play not to lose rather than play to win.


You have not registered the counterargument to this strategy at all. I shall repeat: to expect a higher rate of overall success from a handful of girls looking briefly in your direction is wishful thinking. Its success is dependant on the stares being an undeniable signal of attraction a majority of the time and for there to be a large volume of suitable girls checking you out. Since neither condition holds on any consistent basis, the most rational conclusion to draw is that your modus operandi is profoundly suboptimal.


Again, your analogies are appallingly flawed. In stock trading you have a finite pool of funds from which to make investments and thus it is financial imprudence to throw caution to the wind. Whereas in cold approach you have an abundance of opportunities to approach without any tangible downsides if the opportunities are taken in an overzealous manner. Time and energy do not run the adverse risks of money in the context of depletion. If you had a bank account that regenerated the money you spent the day prior, it would be idiotic not to go gung-ho.

In stock trading you have a finite amount of funds. Humans have a finite amount of rejections they are willing to subject themselves to also. Rejection is not plesant. A study by a group of scientists revealed that a social rejection activated regions in the brain assocaited with pain and was the equivalanet of a poke in the eye. A romantic rejection is not quite the same to a social rejection .. but it's similar. The MAJOR flaw in your supposed super strategy is that 99% of men cannot take 300+ rejections in a month.

We are not ****ing robots!


It's like me making a topic saying, hey ... want to earn 250+ a week without even having a job?

.. then everyone rushing to the topic.

and then me saying, just go beggining in central London with a crutch or something [implying you are disabled]
[I once saw a social experiment on youtube where a guy did this and got over 100 pounds in a day so 250 for a week is definately realistic]

Vast majority of people would be unwilling to go beging as it is a degrading process, and also full of rejection, dirty looks and other such unplesantaries. Therefore my super strategy of earning 250 a week without having a job, is not some super easy "cheat" code to riches ... it is degrading and uplesant, and no one would be interested. [I did infact post said topic once in the money and finance section lol, so i'm not BS-ing]

Your proposal of approaching 300+ girls in a month, whilst racking up 300+ rejections is degrading and unplesant. Not quite on the scale of begging. but unplesant none the less.

My strategy is much less unplesant. It's not going to work for everyone [just like cold approaching doesn't], but you're much more likely to eventually get a girl without having to subject yourself to the amount of pain you are suggesting.
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ANM775
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This sh**y bug ridden forum is not letting edit my post to correct a spelling error, despite trying multiple times

I spelt Begging wrong a few times, so if you see something that resembles the word, then yeah .. you know what it is
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Polymath0
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(Original post by ANM775)
The MAJOR flaw in your supposed super strategy is that 99% of men cannot take 300+ rejections in a month.

We are not ****ing robots!
The fact that a high percentage of males do not have the degree of state control necessary to observe the plan of action I have proposed does not indicate that the strategy is flawed; rather, it indicates a weak mindset driven by timidity and insecurity. To be adversely affected by a rejection met by a girl who does not have insight into the full dimension of your character only proves that your perception is disproportionate to the reality of the situation. It illustrates that you identify emotionally with the rejection as you regard it as an objective comment on you personally instead of a subjective perception of the girl. The trigger of pain is symptomatic of root issues pertaining to self-perception that must be addressed in order to detach ego from the process. Unless addressed head on, the lack of self-entitlement will persist and you will be trapped in a self-induced illusion of disempowerment that will render kaput your strength of will.

Consider this: you are consciously making the choice to forgo opportunities with girls with whom you are compatible in order to avoid the girls who are not. I submit to you that this is nothing short of a lack of self-respect to oneself.

It also bears repeating, since it has been wholly ignored, that the rejection-to-date ratio has been largely inflated in order to demonstrate that the odds for success with high volume are virtually guaranteed for even those with suboptimal levels of social skills, charm and savviness. A honed ability in social dynamics serves as the rising tide that raises all boats, albeit at varying levels depending on one's looks.
Last edited by Polymath0; 5 days ago
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Polymath0
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(Original post by ltsmith)
It is a very odd way to find a partner.

Why not just get to know someone you like and then ask them out instead of going up to random people?
Because in order to build rapport with a girl, she needs to be receptive in the first approach and come out on a date. However, there is no guarantee that she will follow through as she could ghost, flake or have a capricious change of heart. But if she does follow through, still, there is no guarantee that the interest will be fully reciprocated or that she will be compatible. Is it odd then to mass approach girls in public spaces? No, rather, it is counterproductive to sit on one's hands and expect that fate will accommodate the opportunity to get to know someone intimately. It will not happen. An effort must be made to realise the opportunity by approaching a lot of random girls who are of appeal visually. It is important to mass approach in order to increase the odds of discovering reciprocation and interest amongst a sea of rejection.

To regard this method as odd as opposed to normal suggests either a warped perception of reality or the dating market. All human beings start out as strangers. To expect familiarity to be established with a random girl prior to her being approached does not make sense. It is not a logical possibility. The approach needs to happen as a prerequisite in order to get to know her. So, if anything, your objection is remarkably odd.
Last edited by Polymath0; 3 days ago
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