is something wrong with my girlfriend?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 months ago
#1
she has severe anger issues and always says i’d be scared if she got really mad and says she would ‘kick the **** out of me’ if pissed her off and she claimed it was a joke. (she hasn’t ever done that... yet), she always says she never cries just gets angry and comes across really cold and emotionless and always says i’m acting like the victim when i’m upset when she’s hurt me, her mood swings are really bad like one minute she’s really happy and hyper and a bit unstable and the next she gives me the silent treatment and this can usually last for 4/5 days (sometimes even a week). she always thinks i’m talking about her to other people (she smokes weed idk if that has anything to do with it), she is very bossy, demanding and manipulative and likes to take control and when i stand my ground she calls me nasty names & says she doesn’t care about me. then says a few days after that she does she just doesn’t handle things well. shall i leave her? as i honestly feel useless. she has told me about having depression, anxiety and ADHD but she really doesn’t have any respect for me a lot of the time.
0
reply
studya03
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#2
Report 6 months ago
#2
Sounds like a toxic relationship if I’m honest
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#3
Report 6 months ago
#3
Sounds really toxic for your health and benefit you should leave her you’ll find someone better
0
reply
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#4
Report 6 months ago
#4
The 2 of you are incompatible in how you deal with conflict.

From your description, there will be very few people that would be compatible with someone as rude and moody as her.

This incomatibility means that the 2 of you will never have a happy enough relationship.

Which leads to the blindingly obvious conclusion that you should leave her and find someone else that is a lot more compatible with your reasonable style in resolving conflict.

And by the way, of course you act the victim, because you ARE a victim of this woman's tantrums, threats and sulks.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#5
Report 6 months ago
#5
Firstly its normal for couples to argue, healthy even (it would be really weird if a couple that's been together for months to have never even had a mildly heated disagreement), and yes sometimes they get heated. However what matters most is the frequency and impact these arguments have on the relationship. If they are happening multiple times a week, and just as you get over the last one another one starts up again, or if all you seem to talk about is arguments you have then there is a problem. Some girls do get angry and that is also ok (and again quite normal), provided its never only as a result of what you have done or just targeted at you.

My girlfriend gets angry over tests, school stress and is just in a bit of a crotchety mood, easily annoyed by everything, everyone and anything and sometimes snaps at me. While I would prefer it if she didn't, she has never called me bad names, threatened me, upset me or not spoken to me for days, usually its just a case of not laughing at my jokes, getting pi55ed off when I ask her to repeat something, but she always says she is sorry afterwards and I can see she genuinely feels bad for it and thanks me for helping to calm her down eventually. Because I love her I don't mind.

Your case though... seems different. Your girlfriend seems to be taking all her anger out specifically on you. Threatening you, name calling and giving you the cold shoulder for days at a time is not healthy or normal. While my GF has never not spoken to me, I know some girls need a few hours to calm down, maybe a day, but not 5-6-7 days like yours does. A girl, hell, any person, you are in a relationship with, no matter how angry they are should never say they don't care about you. We all say things we don't mean in fits of anger, but not that. Manipulating and bossing you around is also not ok for what should be obvious reasons. You should leave her, the fact you are still with her makes me think she 'makes it up to you' by saying she loves you, but actions speak much louder than words. She seems to have no remorse after doing any of this, saying she is joking is actually even worse, and so you are better off without her.
1
reply
Anonymous #4
#6
Report 6 months ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
she has severe anger issues and always says i’d be scared if she got really mad and says she would ‘kick the **** out of me’ if pissed her off and she claimed it was a joke. (she hasn’t ever done that... yet), she always says she never cries just gets angry and comes across really cold and emotionless and always says i’m acting like the victim when i’m upset when she’s hurt me, her mood swings are really bad like one minute she’s really happy and hyper and a bit unstable and the next she gives me the silent treatment and this can usually last for 4/5 days (sometimes even a week). she always thinks i’m talking about her to other people (she smokes weed idk if that has anything to do with it), she is very bossy, demanding and manipulative and likes to take control and when i stand my ground she calls me nasty names & says she doesn’t care about me. then says a few days after that she does she just doesn’t handle things well. shall i leave her? as i honestly feel useless. she has told me about having depression, anxiety and ADHD but she really doesn’t have any respect for me a lot of the time.
There isnt really question on whether if you should or not. It is quite clear to me that it is quite toxic relationship, which is not healthy for either for you.
0
reply
StaceyAckerman1
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#7
Report 6 months ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Firstly its normal for couples to argue, healthy even (it would be really weird if a couple that's been together for months to have never even had a mildly heated disagreement), and yes sometimes they get heated. However what matters most is the frequency and impact these arguments have on the relationship. If they are happening multiple times a week, and just as you get over the last one another one starts up again, or if all you seem to talk about is arguments you have then there is a problem. Some girls do get angry and that is also ok (and again quite normal), provided its never only as a result of what you have done or just targeted at you.

My girlfriend gets angry over tests, school stress and is just in a bit of a crotchety mood, easily annoyed by everything, everyone and anything and sometimes snaps at me. While I would prefer it if she didn't, she has never called me bad names, threatened me, upset me or not spoken to me for days, usually its just a case of not laughing at my jokes, getting pi55ed off when I ask her to repeat something, but she always says she is sorry afterwards and I can see she genuinely feels bad for it and thanks me for helping to calm her down eventually. Because I love her I don't mind.

Your case though... seems different. Your girlfriend seems to be taking all her anger out specifically on you. Threatening you, name calling and giving you the cold shoulder for days at a time is not healthy or normal. While my GF has never not spoken to me, I know some girls need a few hours to calm down, maybe a day, but not 5-6-7 days like yours does. A girl, hell, any person, you are in a relationship with, no matter how angry they are should never say they don't care about you. We all say things we don't mean in fits of anger, but not that. Manipulating and bossing you around is also not ok for what should be obvious reasons. You should leave her, the fact you are still with her makes me think she 'makes it up to you' by saying she loves you, but actions speak much louder than words. She seems to have no remorse after doing any of this, saying she is joking is actually even worse, and so you are better off without her.
Leave her ass you are right
Last edited by StaceyAckerman1; 6 months ago
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

What factors affect your mental health the most right now? (select all that apply)

Lack of purpose or routine (160)
15.55%
Uncertainty around my education (167)
16.23%
Uncertainty around my future career prospects (98)
9.52%
Isolating with family (71)
6.9%
Lack of support system (eg. Teachers, counsellors) (38)
3.69%
Lack of exercise/ability to be outside (90)
8.75%
Loneliness (102)
9.91%
Financial worries (46)
4.47%
Concern about myself or my loved ones getting ill (94)
9.14%
Exposure to negative news/social media (73)
7.09%
Lack of real life entertainment (eg. cinema, gigs, restaurants) (90)
8.75%

Watched Threads

View All