Girl chats with me daily for a year, never mentioned her bf of years until today

A bit of background I have lived in many countries but mostly the UK and currently live in Canada where I went to uni and now work. The area I live in is very white and I am not (I am mixed) and I never got to seriously date anyone so I am ignorant on these things. I grew up in a single parent household and have very little close family besides my mum and sibling. I work in an engineering field.

Anyway so most of my friends are women and this just happened automatically but I am a straight guy. I don't make friends that easily with anyone but enjoy the company of people who are empathetic and mature.

2 Years ago I met this girl J, at uni in my course and we got along really well. While we never met much in person we eventually began to chat with each other very regularly. We keep replying to each others last text (after a while) and seem to text each other at least 2-3 times daily. We talk a lot about quite personal things like mental health and our jobs, office politics etc. Recently I started inviting her to hang out more with some other friends of mine as I felt I did not spend time with her in person despite her becoming the closest emotionally.

Due to the way I grew up, I am someone who genuinely does not think less of women unlike a lot of guys I meet and hates gender norms. More outspoken women tend to get along quite well with me for this reason and we often talked about these topics and things she experienced.

However until very recently she never brought up that she had a boyfriend (in another town) and mentioned that she wants to break up as he does not understand and like talking about some things. I noticed these are the same things I and her talk about almost daily. Some people might take these things as 'whining' but I genuinely care about her and help her through what she goes through.

Being a virgin though who generally doesn't date and has rejected advances by other women I do not know how to interpret this. I am a bit surprised that she did not mention the boyfriend before when with my other female friends I know their boyfriends and have even met many of them.

On my end I do like her, a lot, she and I have gone through similar experiences and we get each other. Like if someday she were my wife and that made her happy too, I'd probably be over the moon. I am however inexperience sexually besides masturbation and I don't know if I could please a woman that way. Personality wise based on my friends I know that women who get to know me absolutely love that I do not show signs of toxic masculinity.

I'm not sure she likes me in that way, and I'd be ok with that too, obviously if she did break up I wouldn't want to ask her instantly without time. But I do not want to potentially mess my friendship with her if things go sour. I don't know what to do, should I just wait for her to make a move, make a move in a while, never make a move, or is there a significant red flag as she never told me about the boyfriend until she wants to break up with him.

I would like to have a partner but I don't know how desirable I am, I am decent looking but not white in a white town, I have very little family connections to offer and none in this country. I'm also doing decently financially so I do not want to commit myself to the wrong person.

You are thinking too far ahead. She has a bf. She is a friend and she probably likes the fact she has someone to talk to. If she breaks up, then that is her choice and then you can consider your options, but until then keep the friendship intact.

it's weird that she didn't mention him though.

Imo when a girl does that it usually means she's somewhat attracted to the guy, or at the very least likes the attention she's getting from him. This girl did not simply "forget" to mention the bf. It's been a year, he should have come up in coversation.

If he was a female friend I'm sure she would have mentioned it right now.

On this basis, I would say he may have somewhat of a chance if she breaks up with him.

it's weird that she didn't mention him though.

Imo when a girl does that it usually means she's somewhat attracted to the guy, or at the very least likes the attention she's getting from him. This girl did not simply "forget" to mention the bf. It's been a year, he should have come up in coversation.

If he was a female friend I'm sure she would have mentioned it right now.

On this basis, I would say he may have somewhat of a chance if she breaks up with him.

Honestly, I think it would be better to wait it out, though do try to drop some hints (girls are very attentive to signs when they like a guy) and see what happens from then on. If nothing happens then she probably doesn't see you in that way, or she just might be shy (but even shy girls will drop a few hints back).

You are thinking too far ahead. She has a bf. She is a friend and she probably likes the fact she has someone to talk to. If she breaks up, then that is her choice and then you can consider your options, but until then keep the friendship intact.

it's weird that she didn't mention him though.

Imo when a girl does that it usually means she's somewhat attracted to the guy, or at the very least likes the attention she's getting from him. This girl did not simply "forget" to mention the bf. It's been a year, he should have come up in coversation.

If he was a female friend I'm sure she would have mentioned it right now.

On this basis, I would say he may have somewhat of a chance if she breaks up with him.

Haven’t you challenged her about keep him secret? It’s indeed odd that she never mentioned him. You’ve not mentioned anything to say that she might like you in a romantic way which is key here. Perhaps you are a stand-in absence of a ‘gay best friend’. If there is any chance of a relationship you’ve not shown it. Sexual inexperience needn’t be an issue. You’ve known her so long that is she has any kind of a crush or is in love with you I’m sure she would have asked about your love life and what you look for in a girl and if she did and you didn’t lie, she’d have a kind of clue about that.

I think having such a close male friend is a bit disrespectful to her boyfriend. I wouldn’t trust her at all.