I feel too dumb.
Currently doing a mechanical engineering course. It's been like four days and I am already struggling. I am struggling with everything.. concentrating, understanding (especially the electrical bit), making friends.. and the list goes on. I am struggling with even the basic stuff like looking after myself. I am a catered student and I have skipped like three meals on two different days because eating in front of strangers makes me so nervous idek. I feel like I might choke or do something stupid with my food and people will laugh. There were some people who invited me to join their table because they felt pity for me or something and I was like 'uh no thanks'. Going to lectures and labs is getting increasingly difficult for me because the people on my course are so unbelievably smart and capable. This is all so overwhelming and I dont know how I can go on living like this. I can't even ask for help from my lecturers with my studies because I am too scared to approach them. Can someone please give me some advice?
Original post by Anonymous
Currently doing a mechanical engineering course. It's been like four days and I am already struggling. I am struggling with everything.. concentrating, understanding (especially the electrical bit), making friends.. and the list goes on. I am struggling with even the basic stuff like looking after myself. I am a catered student and I have skipped like three meals on two different days because eating in front of strangers makes me so nervous idek. I feel like I might choke or do something stupid with my food and people will laugh. There were some people who invited me to join their table because they felt pity for me or something and I was like 'uh no thanks'. Going to lectures and labs is getting increasingly difficult for me because the people on my course are so unbelievably smart and capable. This is all so overwhelming and I dont know how I can go on living like this. I can't even ask for help from my lecturers with my studies because I am too scared to approach them. Can someone please give me some advice?
With regards to your course, university is a big step up from sixth form. As you have only just started the course, it is not uncommon for you to struggle with the change initially - a degree looks further in depth in one subject with complex concepts and the need for independent learning. If you have concerns, talk to your personal tutor, or your lecturer or course mates to help clarify topics. Don't be afraid to approach and start conversations with other students. Your other course mates aren't perfect and know everything - they are in university to learn too. If you haven't taken the time to get to know them, you may not be able to see how they truly feel about the course too. You must also consider that you earn your place in the course too, so you must be smart too!
It is important to take care of yourself - if you don't take care of your health, you won't be able to give your studies full concentration. You mention that you are living in catered halls, so you should try to take advantage of having cooked meals all ready for you. If other students invite you to sit with them, don't turn them away - I'm sure they would like to get to know you too and not asking out of pity.
Whilst I understand that you have nerves talking to people, I would urge you to be more open at your time at university. Keeping your worries close to yourself and not paying attention to your personal health and wellbeing and the social aspect will not make your time there very enjoyable. Have the courage to seek help if you need, and to put yourself out there and talk to new people. Everything is hard at first if you aren't used to it, but if you have the heart to do practice something again and again, it should become habitual and you should begin to feel more at ease.
Original post by cheesecakelove
With regards to your course, university is a big step up from sixth form. As you have only just started the course, it is not uncommon for you to struggle with the change initially - a degree looks further in depth in one subject with complex concepts and the need for independent learning. If you have concerns, talk to your personal tutor, or your lecturer or course mates to help clarify topics. Don't be afraid to approach and start conversations with other students. Your other course mates aren't perfect and know everything - they are in university to learn too. If you haven't taken the time to get to know them, you may not be able to see how they truly feel about the course too. You must also consider that you earn your place in the course too, so you must be smart too!
It is important to take care of yourself - if you don't take care of your health, you won't be able to give your studies full concentration. You mention that you are living in catered halls, so you should try to take advantage of having cooked meals all ready for you. If other students invite you to sit with them, don't turn them away - I'm sure they would like to get to know you too and not asking out of pity.
Whilst I understand that you have nerves talking to people, I would urge you to be more open at your time at university. Keeping your worries close to yourself and not paying attention to your personal health and wellbeing and the social aspect will not make your time there very enjoyable. Have the courage to seek help if you need, and to put yourself out there and talk to new people. Everything is hard at first if you aren't used to it, but if you have the heart to do practice something again and again, it should become habitual and you should begin to feel more at ease.
It is important to take care of yourself - if you don't take care of your health, you won't be able to give your studies full concentration. You mention that you are living in catered halls, so you should try to take advantage of having cooked meals all ready for you. If other students invite you to sit with them, don't turn them away - I'm sure they would like to get to know you too and not asking out of pity.
Whilst I understand that you have nerves talking to people, I would urge you to be more open at your time at university. Keeping your worries close to yourself and not paying attention to your personal health and wellbeing and the social aspect will not make your time there very enjoyable. Have the courage to seek help if you need, and to put yourself out there and talk to new people. Everything is hard at first if you aren't used to it, but if you have the heart to do practice something again and again, it should become habitual and you should begin to feel more at ease.
Thanks for the reply. I am scared that people will think me weird and creepy if I suddenly start talking.. like how do I start? How to appear genuine and nice?
I almost choked on my food this morning when somebody came and sat on my table in front of me. How do I stop behaving like this? I don't really have the courage to go to dinner now because of this morning's food incident
And during my lab, I asked my lecturer's assistant for some help and he showed me but I didn't really understand anything; I just kept nodding because I am stupid. I was too scared to ask him for his help again.
I think people can tell I am weird because the table invites have stopped and people are reluctant to be my lab partner in class. I feel like I don't belong anywhere and university is just a waste of time. Who is gonna employ ME? I have no people skills whatsoever.
Original post by rjckk
I'm sorry to hear that.
I major in electrical engineering. Is your proffesion related to electricity?
Are you male or female? Which year of university are you in?
I think you suffer from social anxiety, though I had it,too. Have you seen doctor?
I major in electrical engineering. Is your proffesion related to electricity?
Are you male or female? Which year of university are you in?
I think you suffer from social anxiety, though I had it,too. Have you seen doctor?
Kind of. A lot of my course is related to circuit building and computing which I find really hard.
I am a girl and this is my first year at uni.
I think so too but I have not seen the doctor. Even if I go to the doctor, they wouldn't really be able to fix me
Original post by Anonymous
Kind of. A lot of my course is related to circuit building and computing which I find really hard.
I am a girl and this is my first year at uni.
I think so too but I have not seen the doctor. Even if I go to the doctor, they wouldn't really be able to fix me
I am a girl and this is my first year at uni.
I think so too but I have not seen the doctor. Even if I go to the doctor, they wouldn't really be able to fix me
Our professions are similar. I know many students who major in electrical or mechanical engineering.
I had the same feeling as you., too
You may PM me, I wish I could help you
Original post by Anonymous
Kind of. A lot of my course is related to circuit building and computing which I find really hard.
I am a girl and this is my first year at uni.
I think so too but I have not seen the doctor. Even if I go to the doctor, they wouldn't really be able to fix me
I am a girl and this is my first year at uni.
I think so too but I have not seen the doctor. Even if I go to the doctor, they wouldn't really be able to fix me
Do not pm this guy he is always trying to get upset girls to pm him.Actually a gp could definitely help you.You are suffering from social anxiety many people have it.Make an appt to see doctor on Monday
Original post by Scotney
Do not pm this guy he is always trying to get upset girls to pm him.Actually a gp could definitely help you.You are suffering from social anxiety many people have it.Make an appt to see doctor on Monday
Have you told your parents how you are feeling or maybe a good friend from home. The uni should have a counselling service dealing with MH so you could start by talking to them. Please do talk to someone though you are not dumb you just need some help to manage these feelings.
Original post by Scotney
Have you told your parents how you are feeling or maybe a good friend from home. The uni should have a counselling service dealing with MH so you could start by talking to them. Please do talk to someone though you are not dumb you just need some help to manage these feelings.
What exactly do I say when I call at the reception? I have no idea how to make a doctor's appointment on my own. What do I tell the doctor?I am an international student so English is really hard for me. I mean I can understand and write English okay but when it comes to speaking, my voice becomes really weird and loud. I have not told my parents about these things yet because I fear if I tell them, they're gonna freak out and be worried sick. They call me every evening to ask me how my day has been, what I ate for breakfast, dinner, how my classes were etc. and it is so hard for me to tell them.
Original post by Anonymous
What exactly do I say when I call at the reception? I have no idea how to make a doctor's appointment on my own. What do I tell the doctor?I am an international student so English is really hard for me. I mean I can understand and write English okay but when it comes to speaking, my voice becomes really weird and loud. I have not told my parents about these things yet because I fear if I tell them, they're gonna freak out and be worried sick. They call me every evening to ask me how my day has been, what I ate for breakfast, dinner, how my classes were etc. and it is so hard for me to tell them.
Wow, what country are you from?
Original post by Anonymous
What exactly do I say when I call at the reception? I have no idea how to make a doctor's appointment on my own. What do I tell the doctor?I am an international student so English is really hard for me. I mean I can understand and write English okay but when it comes to speaking, my voice becomes really weird and loud. I have not told my parents about these things yet because I fear if I tell them, they're gonna freak out and be worried sick. They call me every evening to ask me how my day has been, what I ate for breakfast, dinner, how my classes were etc. and it is so hard for me to tell them.
You can just call them up and say you are a new student and need an appointment to see the doctor.You could also call at surgery as you may have to register.Take your passport along and some paperwork that shows you are a uni student.When you see the doctor just explain how you are feeling or even write it down.But also try the counselling service at uni who are used to dealing with this type of problem.
As regards your parents if it was my son or daughter I would much rather they told me than be suffering in silence.Have you had these feelings before at all?Also think about calling a good friend and talking to them.Don't stress too much it is early days and it can all be sorted out.
(edited 4 years ago)
Honestly, I think not understanding the content is a staple part of university life. I'm in my second year now and I still don't understand most of the stuff they go on about, even after getting a first in first year.
Original post by Anonymous
Currently doing a mechanical engineering course. It's been like four days and I am already struggling. I am struggling with everything.. concentrating, understanding (especially the electrical bit), making friends.. and the list goes on. I am struggling with even the basic stuff like looking after myself. I am a catered student and I have skipped like three meals on two different days because eating in front of strangers makes me so nervous idek. I feel like I might choke or do something stupid with my food and people will laugh. There were some people who invited me to join their table because they felt pity for me or something and I was like 'uh no thanks'. Going to lectures and labs is getting increasingly difficult for me because the people on my course are so unbelievably smart and capable. This is all so overwhelming and I dont know how I can go on living like this. I can't even ask for help from my lecturers with my studies because I am too scared to approach them. Can someone please give me some advice?
I failed electronics in my first year of an engineering degree. I also scrapped a pass in engineering maths. I still graduated with a 2:1. The point is, it doesn't matter if you struggle or not, just keep going and be determined. Read textbooks, watch youtube videos and ask lecturers after class for help. Most importantly, don't be afraid to ask questions - that is how you learn. Try and enjoy it too, don't stress that others seem to know the material - concentrate on yourself. If you really don't like the course after say December, then have a rethink.
In my opinion, it sounds like you may also have anxiety issues - speak to a counsellor and discuss those issues.
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Currently doing a mechanical engineering course. It's been like four days and I am already struggling. I am struggling with everything.. concentrating, understanding (especially the electrical bit), making friends.. and the list goes on. I am struggling with even the basic stuff like looking after myself. I am a catered student and I have skipped like three meals on two different days because eating in front of strangers makes me so nervous idek. I feel like I might choke or do something stupid with my food and people will laugh. There were some people who invited me to join their table because they felt pity for me or something and I was like 'uh no thanks'. Going to lectures and labs is getting increasingly difficult for me because the people on my course are so unbelievably smart and capable. This is all so overwhelming and I dont know how I can go on living like this. I can't even ask for help from my lecturers with my studies because I am too scared to approach them. Can someone please give me some advice?
i just saw this title and was like.. ha lol same
Struggling at the beginning of your course is relatively normal. However, for the other stuff such as skipping meals and such you should go see someone about it.
Original post by Anonymous
Currently doing a mechanical engineering course. It's been like four days and I am already struggling. I am struggling with everything.. concentrating, understanding (especially the electrical bit), making friends.. and the list goes on. I am struggling with even the basic stuff like looking after myself. I am a catered student and I have skipped like three meals on two different days because eating in front of strangers makes me so nervous idek. I feel like I might choke or do something stupid with my food and people will laugh. There were some people who invited me to join their table because they felt pity for me or something and I was like 'uh no thanks'. Going to lectures and labs is getting increasingly difficult for me because the people on my course are so unbelievably smart and capable. This is all so overwhelming and I dont know how I can go on living like this. I can't even ask for help from my lecturers with my studies because I am too scared to approach them. Can someone please give me some advice?
Hey there
First of all I can assure you that you are not alone in feeling this way. It's very common for students who have recently started their courses and moved into accommodation to feel a little out of their depth and overwhelmed.
In terms of your course, I would recommend that you speak to either your personal tutor, a module convener for any modules that you feel as though you are struggling with, or your head of department. They will be able to advise you and recommend certain learning methods which may work better for you.
Making friends when first starting university can also be a challenge and its quite common for students to feel overwhelmed by this. From experience I would certainly suggest that you have a look what kinds of clubs or societies are on offer at your university and maybe go along to some taster sessions that most societies will offer before asking you to become an official member. Societies are a fantastic way of meeting new and like minded people and also a fantastic way of making new friends!
Hope this helps, please let me know if you have any questions or need any advice.
Eliza
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