relationship advice needed

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 months ago
#1
So me and my boyfriend have been together just over a month, we're long distance and haven't met yet. We're currently on a "break" because the relationship was just getting too much for me and honestly I just need time to focus on myself rather than a relationship cos my mental health isn't great at the moment. He keeps saying he will wait for me to get better and all this stuff but I just don't know if I want that anymore.

Yesterday I completely freaked out over something he said (won't go into details, it wasn't really worth freaking out over to the average person, but it still really affected me) which just showed me further that this relationship isn't good for me and I asked him to just give me space for a while, but he's messaged me so many times since just apologising and basically saying he doesn't want me to end the relationship and trying to convince me not to leave. It's making me feel like he doesn't even care about me, all he cares about is this stupid relationship and not my feelings or my mental health. I understand why he's so desperate to hang onto this relationship because he doesn't really have any friends or anyone else so I'm really the only person he can talk to, but at the same time that's not a reason I'm going to stay with him cos that's not healthy for either of us.

Do i just end the relationship or do I stick with it?
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HiViz9
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This is my honest answer meant to be helpful; There is no way on Earth, not by any stretch of the imagination any person can have a "boyfriend" as in that close relationship meaning - if they have never met.
So you start from a false base. Thereafter everything will be false.
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Welshvisitor
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Can’t get my head around the whole daft concept of the claim of having a ‘boyfriend’ when you’ve never met. It’s clearly bothering you, so make a stand and demand a meet in person or end it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by HiViz9)
This is my honest answer meant to be helpful; There is no way on Earth, not by any stretch of the imagination any person can have a "boyfriend" as in that close relationship meaning - if they have never met.
So you start from a false base. Thereafter everything will be false.
(Original post by Welshvisitor)
Can’t get my head around the whole daft concept of the claim of having a ‘boyfriend’ when you’ve never met. It’s clearly bothering you, so make a stand and demand a meet in person or end it.
I see where you're both coming from, it does sound a bit stupid. But we have sent loads of videos and stuff to each other to make sure we are both who we say we are, we used to do them daily. We were planning on meeting soonish before all this happened. But yeah it is definitely not as close a relationship as having someone in real life.

So should I just end it with him or what?
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HiViz9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I see where you're both coming from, it does sound a bit stupid. But we have sent loads of videos and stuff to each other to make sure we are both who we say we are, we used to do them daily. We were planning on meeting soonish before all this happened. But yeah it is definitely not as close a relationship as having someone in real life.

So should I just end it with him or what?
Look, I don't know the real you. On that basis of what you have said, if I was you I would end this now. Just message saying ... "I wish you a good future. I have many things to get on with, in my life, so I wish you farewell".
Also there are many instances when the person you eventually meet turns out to be a right pillock. I am a pragmatist I make instant decisions based upon logic and common sense - I am not saying I am right all the time - but if you seek dependence on others your life will not be fulfilled. I dont mean you should not mix with people. mixing and dependence are two different things.
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Welshvisitor
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Videos and not FaceTime? Connect on a live stream to talk things over. If you’re sending recorded clips you won’t have a true feeling of how you interact and feel. If he declines or it isn’t possible (who doesn’t have the technology to do this these days?) and still won’t meet up then there’s a lot wrong so end it.
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