boyfriend making me feel guilty about not giving oral?

the long and short of it is, i don’t like giving oral sex, i never have and i probably never will. i disclosed this to my boyfriend last night and explained i don’t like the action, i can’t breath when i do it, and it makes me feel degraded. i told him if he doesn’t want to give me oral anymore because of it’s that totally fine too. he’s got really moody and angry and said i’ve made him feel cheap and dirty for giving me oral and i should’ve told him earlier. it’s really upset me he’s reacting like this especially when i said i don’t have a problem with others doing it, it’s not the act it’s just how i personally feel and if he doesn’t want to do it either that’s completely fine. how do i get him to see my side of things?

Reply 1

Danelius

What you're describing sounds like deepthr**t and that's only a part of the fellatio. I think you both need to do a course in oral sex.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 2

username4966870

Well if you don’t like I can’t see why he cant respect your choice. Strange

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 3

Adz2042

if arguments arise from this, it might be time to end it.
it sounds like he can't respect your feelings.

Reply 4

anosmianAcrimony

He isn't entitled to any given sex act and your comfort is more important than his pleasure. If he can't figure that out, dump him.

Reply 5

username47781

Original post by lauraesmecox123

Drop him he has no respect for you

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by lauraesmecox123

That’s very petty ngl, he should respect how u feel rather being angry about something such as oral... if he’s getting angry about this I can’t imagine what else he’ll get angry about...

Reply 7

doodle_333

I would be pretty sad if oral was taken off the table permanently for sex... I'd respect my partners choice but honestly it's important to me and if it wasn't a very long relationship I'd question if we were compatible.

Let me be clear your bf shouldn't make you feel guilty over sex acts BUT he is allowed to be sad and disappointed... or even to feel it's a deal breaker

Reply 8

username4200854

Original post by doodle_333

exactly this, shame everyone else’s go to response is basically “he’s a tw**, dump him”

Reply 9

username47781

Original post by 4StarsOutOf5

exactly this, shame everyone else’s go to response is basically “he’s a tw**, dump him”

She shouldn't be forced into it

Reply 10

lauraesmecox123

Original post by Danelius

What you're describing sounds like deepthr**t and that's only a part of the fellatio. I think you both need to do a course in oral sex.

i know what i’m doing, it’s not that, and i don’t like it.

Reply 11

Welshvisitor

Tell him to suck his own D if he wants it. Then find someone better. That ought to take no more than winking at a stranger.

Reply 12

1582

Volunteer Team

Feeling "cheap and dirty" is a weird reaction to have to the situation. That sounds more like a guilt trip than something genuine.

Don't push your POV too aggressively. He might need a few days to cool off before you discuss it again.

Reply 13

username4902282

You don't have to do anything you don't want to, swerve him if he is persistent about it

Reply 14

Dunnig Kruger

It is entirely your choice what sexual acts you do and don't do.

It is also entirely your boyfriend's choice whether he stays with you or not. If I were in his shoes I'd be looking for someone with whom I was more sexually compatible.

His reaction was rather childish and selfish. He may have just been saying things in the heat of the moment. And trying to guilt you into giving him what he wanted. There is no harm in "negotiating" in relationships.

Reply 15

Danelius

Original post by lauraesmecox123

i know what i’m doing, it’s not that, and i don’t like it.

No worries, maybe you should have disclosed it before getting into a relationship with him. It's all about communication. Only you and him can figure out a solution.

Reply 16

Chicken.M.

Probably need to find someone you're sexually compatible with. He obviously loves blowjobs and is pissed off lmao. I doubt the problem is going to go away if he's reacted that badly to it.

Reply 17

doodle_333

Original post by Rock Fan

She shouldn't be forced into it

to me it doesn't really sound like she is being... he is allowed to have feelings and it's not un reasonable that if she says 'I've been feeling disrespected and I hate doing X' he feels bad and potentially cheap... If he continues to sulk or guilt that's not ok but he's allowed his own feelings