Girlfriend got me naked in front of her friends Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
The title makes the situation worse than it sounds, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable.

My girlfriend is Dutch and we recently went over to the Netherlands to meet her parents and friends. The trip on the whole was great except for one afternoon when my gf suggested we went to a Sauna and meet some of her friends. I was obviously totally up for that and met her friends at the the sauna. Unfortunately for me, I didn't realise until we got to the changing rooms, that at Dutch Sauna's everyone gets their kit off (I ignorantly thought this only happened in the Scandinavian countries).

All of a sudden my girlfriend and two of her friends I had only just met her completely in the buff. I felt so awkward, but didn't want to cause an issue with my gf so got undressed too. The four of us then spent an hour in the sauna. While nothing "bad" happened, I just felt so self-conscious about myself rather than relaxing. For example, all of them were 'smooth' in the downstairs department, unlike my myself and I would be thinking "Oh god, what must they think of me!"

I know most people will think I'm just being silly, but I really found the whole experience awkward. We're back in the UK, so we won't be going to any type of saunas like that for a while, so I don't know whether I should just keep it to myself or mention it to her.
0
reply
AzureCeleste
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
Have you explained to her how you felt about it and that it would've been nice for some warning? Maybe also that in future you'd rather not
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#3
(Original post by AzureCeleste)
Have you explained to her how you felt about it and that it would've been nice for some warning? Maybe also that in future you'd rather not
I haven't and I'm worried that it might cause an argument with her. I guess she probably didn't think about it as this is normal for her in the Netherlands.

I didn't feel like I was being objectified or anything like that, I guess I felt irrational jealously that her friends were getting to look at my girlfriends body as well.
0
reply
barnetlad
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 week ago
#4
I'm sorry you feel this way. I have been to Dutch spas and it is perfectly normal (as at German and Belgian ones- I have even met a former Prime Minister in one). I think it is the most comfortable way to have a sauna.
0
reply
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 week ago
#5
It's good to be taken outside of your comfort zone from time to time.
1
reply
AzureCeleste
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I haven't and I'm worried that it might cause an argument with her. I guess she probably didn't think about it as this is normal for her in the Netherlands.

I didn't feel like I was being objectified or anything like that, I guess I felt irrational jealously that her friends were getting to look at my girlfriends body as well.
Her friends were guys?
Having arguements is a part of a relationship, I don't think there will be an arguement. It's just worth speaking things through
1
reply
Adz2042
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 week ago
#7
good to openly speak to her and be honest with how the experience was from your side.
if an argument happens, just remain calm. you're just expressing how you felt the situation went.
1
reply
Lilli22
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 week ago
#8
Don't be ridiculous. Be comfortable with your body. You shouldn't care what anyone else thinks - chances are you're the one sitting awake at night, worrying about this whilst they're sleeping soundly.
2
reply
doodle_333
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 week ago
#9
I think you need to tell her. It's a cultural difference and she probably thought nothing of it and will feel terrible that you were uncomfortable. If you don't tell her you could get further misunderstandings.
3
reply
-Quava-
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 week ago
#10
If this was the other way round in terms of gender you would all be mortified.
6
reply
londonmyst
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 week ago
#11
Yikes. :eek:
I had no idea this happened in saunas in the Netherlands or Scandinavia.
Bad luck OP and thanks for the warning.
4
reply
ChickenMadness
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 week ago
#12
I'd have said 'nah not doing that' lmao.
My body is sacred, holy and pure. Strangers don't get to see it
4
reply
ChickenMadness
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 week ago
#13
(Original post by londonmyst)
Yikes. :eek:
I had no idea this happened in saunas in the Netherlands or Scandinavia.
Bad luck OP and thanks for the warning.
Agreed, yikes af
0
reply
barnetlad
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#14
Report 1 week ago
#14
As for the comment about 'smooth' ness, no-one would have cared. At least no-one with any maturity.
1
reply
Vinny C
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#15
Report 1 week ago
#15
You should have insisted on full evening attire and told them you were British!
5
reply
doodle_333
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#16
Report 1 week ago
#16
(Original post by -Quava-)
If this was the other way round in terms of gender you would all be mortified.
lol no

this is normal culture in the Netherlands and North Europe/Scandinavia, OPs girlfriend probably didn't think twice about it, yeah maybe she could have been more considerate but it's not a gender issue just a cultural one
0
reply
shadowdweller
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#17
Report 1 week ago
#17
I'm not sure it's quite fair to say she "made" you get naked - she probably thought you knew what the spa would be like, or assumed you would voice an objection when you were there if you weren't okay with it? If you didn't feel that you could disagree with your girlfriend, there's a much bigger underlying issue here.
4
reply
Oxford Mum
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#18
Report 1 week ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
The title makes the situation worse than it sounds, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable.

My girlfriend is Dutch and we recently went over to the Netherlands to meet her parents and friends. The trip on the whole was great except for one afternoon when my gf suggested we went to a Sauna and meet some of her friends. I was obviously totally up for that and met her friends at the the sauna. Unfortunately for me, I didn't realise until we got to the changing rooms, that at Dutch Sauna's everyone gets their kit off (I ignorantly thought this only happened in the Scandinavian countries).

All of a sudden my girlfriend and two of her friends I had only just met her completely in the buff. I felt so awkward, but didn't want to cause an issue with my gf so got undressed too. The four of us then spent an hour in the sauna. While nothing "bad" happened, I just felt so self-conscious about myself rather than relaxing. For example, all of them were 'smooth' in the downstairs department, unlike my myself and I would be thinking "Oh god, what must they think of me!"

I know most people will think I'm just being silly, but I really found the whole experience awkward. We're back in the UK, so we won't be going to any type of saunas like that for a while, so I don't know whether I should just keep it to myself or mention it to her.
You are just being British, that's all. People in Europe are much less intimated by their bodies. The other girls will have forgotten all about the experience. Have a word with your girlfriend if you like about it. She will have had no idea you were embarrassed. Next time in the sauna you can always wear a bowler hat, a three piece pinstriped suit and carry a copy of the Times to display your British credentials.
2
reply
karl pilkington
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#19
Report 1 week ago
#19
I don't understand are you a guy? All her friends are female the whole thing is kind of weird but maybe they treat nudity differently over there.
0
reply
zedius
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#20
Report 1 week ago
#20
n̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶i̶m̶ ̶g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶h̶o̶l̶i̶d̶a̶y̶
3
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Would you turn to a teacher if you were being bullied?

Yes (38)
26.03%
No (108)
73.97%

Watched Threads

View All