Am I the only one who feels this way?

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Anonymous #1
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Everytime I look back and think about the choices I made a few weeks ago or a few months ago, I realise just how foolish they were. Yet during the time when I made those choices, I never once thought I was being stupid, in fact, I thought I was being very 'mature'. I am over 17 and yet I continue to make mistakes, when will this stop? How can I even trust my present self when it continues to disappoint me? Like I just...I am so frustrated because I continue to be silly, even though my intentions are good. I am just scared that I am going to be an adult soon one day and make mistakes, but under the illusion that I am being 'mature'.

I don't even know if this post makes sense.
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TheAlchemistress
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It does make sense, as right now I keep thinking back and realizing I handled situations wrong. Also, I keep thinking about how my actions were wrong and yes I keep making the same mistakes. If I were you I would try and stop and think before making an action and think whether you have responded in a good or bad manner.
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Anonymous #2
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No matter how old you are you are never immune to making mistakes both in life and relationships.
The trick is to learn from those mistakes .. put the things we did as children behind us and try and make more mature decisions about things .. try and forgive what others do to you, especially in the heat of a moment.. what people say is not always what they mean
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FakeNewsEditor
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I cringe hard at 50% of the things I've done in my life. I cringe so hard it physically hurts to think about 'em.

But it's really odd to think that there are people who don't make mistakes. Everyone does, some people just don't admit it, not even to themselves. At least you can see you're in the wrong, that's pretty good tbh?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Discrepancy)
It does make sense, as right now I keep thinking back and realizing I handled situations wrong. Also, I keep thinking about how my actions were wrong and yes I keep making the same mistakes. If I were you I would try and stop and think before making an action and think whether you have responded in a good or bad manner.
The problem is, the 'silly' stuff that I do isn't impulsive stuff. It happens over time. I think I am too emtional and I make decisions based on how I feel, as opposed to how I think. You are right, I really do need to think more often before I act.
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TheAlchemistress
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Honestly, I am the same. I think emotions make us act differently when we don't intend do. If you think you make a bad action, then pause and think and respond.
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username2393237
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That’s life. Everyone makes silly mistakes all the time and most people don’t really learn from them. Just try to do your best in the moment because striving for perfection will make you miserable. You’re going to make decisions based on emotions at times because you’re human.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by FakeNewsEditor)
I cringe hard at 50% of the things I've done in my life. I cringe so hard it physically hurts to think about 'em.

But it's really odd to think that there are people who don't make mistakes. Everyone does, some people just don't admit it, not even to themselves. At least you can see you're in the wrong, that's pretty good tbh?
Honestly! I cringe and sometimes I literally will want to slap the life out of myself for the things I have said/done. I don't know, I am not sure why I suffer so strongly from feelings of shame and self-disgust.

Thanks, that is reassuring. I don't know, I guess I was hoping too much, expecting too much from 'growing up'. I think parents don't often tell us that mistakes are inevitable and so I just.. I guess I am just realising how flawed I am and it isn't easy to accept that. lol
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Jaunty
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What kind or type of choices/mistakes?
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Anonnorth
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(Original post by Discrepancy)
Honestly, I am the same. I think emotions make us act differently when we don't intend do. If you think you make a bad action, then pause and think and respond.
One thing most of us are guilty of is being quick to respond to something that someone has said when arguing...rather than taking a while to think through what they have said before replying.
Also we forget to think about affect what we do or say has on those we are about most.
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Welshvisitor
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You live and learn. 17 is absolutely no age at all to think you’ve sussed life. Some never do. Go easy on yourself.
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FakeNewsEditor
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I can reassure you of this: you will screw up A LOT as an adult. Far more often than you did as a child because guess what, you've x10 times the responsibilities. There simply are plenty of ways to fail.

And parents make stupid mistakes all the time. They don't know ****, at least mine didn't.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Welshvisitor)
You live and learn. 17 is absolutely no age at all to think you’ve sussed life. Some never do. Go easy on yourself.
Thanks. It's just that I made myself a promise some time ago to behave and be more responsible but since then, I have screwed up a little and I am just disappointed in myself a little.
(Original post by Jaunty)
What kind or type of choices/mistakes?
They are a little personal. Vaguely I would say trusting the wrong people, making the wrong jokes at the wrong time, being too vulnerable. Being too trusting.
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elf03
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Hi Anon,

Yes, lots of people feel regret (or maybe not regret but foolish, like you've said) at choices they've made. You've said you're 'over 17' which I'm taking to mean just over - try not to worry about whether your choices are 'mature', not many people feel mature at your age or ever really lol! It might not reassure you to find out that you're always going to make mistakes but hopefully knowing that everyone will is a bit more reassuring! You've said that you feel a lot of 'shame and self-disgust' - it might be worth seeing if there's someone you can talk through these feelings with? A counsellor or someone like that? I realise that in itself might make you feel ashamed but there really is no reason to! These feelings are obviously impacting you a lot so I really think that it might be worth it :-) Especially if you're having to make big decisions in your life at the moment?

In the meantime, bear in mind that we always look back at our mistakes with hindsight. A few months or even a few weeks on from making what seemed like a considered choice, we can have learnt a lot more about a situation and have obviously experienced the consequences of that choice. Try to see these moments for what they are: a learning experience! We all make mistakes! :-)

Hope this helps a little :-)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by elf03)
Hi Anon,

Yes, lots of people feel regret (or maybe not regret but foolish, like you've said) at choices they've made. You've said you're 'over 17' which I'm taking to mean just over - try not to worry about whether your choices are 'mature', not many people feel mature at your age or ever really lol! It might not reassure you to find out that you're always going to make mistakes but hopefully knowing that everyone will is a bit more reassuring! You've said that you feel a lot of 'shame and self-disgust' - it might be worth seeing if there's someone you can talk through these feelings with? A counsellor or someone like that? I realise that in itself might make you feel ashamed but there really is no reason to! These feelings are obviously impacting you a lot so I really think that it might be worth it :-) Especially if you're having to make big decisions in your life at the moment?

In the meantime, bear in mind that we always look back at our mistakes with hindsight. A few months or even a few weeks on from making what seemed like a considered choice, we can have learnt a lot more about a situation and have obviously experienced the consequences of that choice. Try to see these moments for what they are: a learning experience! We all make mistakes! :-)

Hope this helps a little :-)
Thank you for your response!
I wouldn't say feelings of self-disgust or shame have a massive impact on my life. I hardly think about the past, just sometimes I remember a thing I said or a situation in which I was clumsy and I cringe, I cringe, oh God, I cringe so badly. I would talk to a counsellor except I don't think my issues are that serious. And if I am honest, I am too private to want to talk about my feelings with someone so openly irl. lol
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elf03
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You're welcome! Okay that's fair enough, sorry if I overstepped I think maybe I related a little too hard to what you've said about cringing and so projected a little on to your situation lol! It's totally normal to feel like that sometimes as long it's not getting in the way of you making decisions and going about your daily life :-)
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MidgetFever
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Everyone makes dumb mistakes regardless of whether we're adults or not. It's just part of life and the learning experience. If we didn't make mistakes then we probably wouldn't be the people we are today.
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Jaunty
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At least those are quite noble and you don't mean any harm. Don't beat yourself up just look up info on how to avoid it. Being too vulnerable and trusting is a thing many learn the hard way, make people earn it first.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Jaunty)
At least those are quite noble and you don't mean any harm. Don't beat yourself up just look up info on how to avoid it. Being too vulnerable and trusting is a thing many learn the hard way, make people earn it first.
Yeah, figured this out some time ago lol thank you
(Original post by elf03)
You're welcome! Okay that's fair enough, sorry if I overstepped I think maybe I related a little too hard to what you've said about cringing and so projected a little on to your situation lol! It's totally normal to feel like that sometimes as long it's not getting in the way of you making decisions and going about your daily life :-)
Of course not! I appreciate your advice and thank you so much for helping.
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