Good Friend (gay) reveals feelings for me, we messed around and idk what to do Watch

Megatron123
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Hello i guess, finally sober enough to make this post

I've got 2 roommates who I've known and been friends with for a very long time and one of them recently told me he was gay, really genuinely likes me, has liked me for a long time and has finally been able to explain his feelings to me, we both are introverts so that is very unexpected. I had recently finally severed ties with my on again off again girlfriend who'd i'd blindly been following. I wasn't in the happiest of moods and slightly intoxicated and chilling out ended up with him giving me a Bj. I haven't spoken to him now in two days because i've been avoiding him but mainly I've been very drunk. I dont think im gay and im unsure how to deal with his feelings since I think he actually feels for me which is a new feeling and looking back over the years ive known him i think ive just been oblivious to when he has been slightly flirty and ive have a few suspicions but I didn't that he liked me in this way. Its a strange feeling because no one has ever really "like liked" (cringe) me to my knowledge and the first person to do was him. Im a selfish and arrogant and very shy + introverted which has definitely contributed to my lack of fans and for him to see past that and still like me in that way is confusing. I enjoyed the bj for sure but i dont think im mentally gay (is that a thing) idk, strange times indeed.

I dont know why i messed around with him but now I feel a bit ****ty since ive acted like a **** and really idk what to do or say

Sorry for the below standard grammar.
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Megatron123)
Hello i guess, finally sober enough to make this post

I've got 2 roommates who I've known and been friends with for a very long time and one of them recently told me he was gay, really genuinely likes me, has liked me for a long time and has finally been able to explain his feelings to me, we both are introverts so that is very unexpected. I had recently finally severed ties with my on again off again girlfriend who'd i'd blindly been following. I wasn't in the happiest of moods and slightly intoxicated and chilling out ended up with him giving me a Bj. I haven't spoken to him now in two days because i've been avoiding him but mainly I've been very drunk. I dont think im gay and im unsure how to deal with his feelings since I think he actually feels for me which is a new feeling and looking back over the years ive known him i think ive just been oblivious to when he has been slightly flirty and ive have a few suspicions but I didn't that he liked me in this way. Its a strange feeling because no one has ever really "like liked" (cringe) me to my knowledge and the first person to do was him. Im a selfish and arrogant and very shy + introverted which has definitely contributed to my lack of fans and for him to see past that and still like me in that way is confusing. I enjoyed the bj for sure but i dont think im mentally gay (is that a thing) idk, strange times indeed.

I dont know why i messed around with him but now I feel a bit ****ty since ive acted like a **** and really idk what to do or say

Sorry for the below standard grammar.
Just because you had one gay sexual experience doesn't necessarily mean you're gay, so if you're questioning yourself try not to get too wrapped up in it.

You definitely need to just push through the awkward and chat about what happened. You've been under the influence of alcohol which has affected your decisions, so you need to make him aware of that in case he is expecting anything to come of this encounter you had with him.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Megatron123)
Hello i guess, finally sober enough to make this post

I've got 2 roommates who I've known and been friends with for a very long time and one of them recently told me he was gay, really genuinely likes me, has liked me for a long time and has finally been able to explain his feelings to me, we both are introverts so that is very unexpected. I had recently finally severed ties with my on again off again girlfriend who'd i'd blindly been following. I wasn't in the happiest of moods and slightly intoxicated and chilling out ended up with him giving me a Bj. I haven't spoken to him now in two days because i've been avoiding him but mainly I've been very drunk. I dont think im gay and im unsure how to deal with his feelings since I think he actually feels for me which is a new feeling and looking back over the years ive known him i think ive just been oblivious to when he has been slightly flirty and ive have a few suspicions but I didn't that he liked me in this way. Its a strange feeling because no one has ever really "like liked" (cringe) me to my knowledge and the first person to do was him. Im a selfish and arrogant and very shy + introverted which has definitely contributed to my lack of fans and for him to see past that and still like me in that way is confusing. I enjoyed the bj for sure but i dont think im mentally gay (is that a thing) idk, strange times indeed.

I dont know why i messed around with him but now I feel a bit ****ty since ive acted like a **** and really idk what to do or say

Sorry for the below standard grammar.
Give it whirl and see if you like more than just a bj from a man.
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HoldThisL
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the rules of being gay in 2019 allow for a 'no homo' to cover previous actions IF said within 7 days of the event
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Megatron123
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
Just because you had one gay sexual experience doesn't necessarily mean you're gay, so if you're questioning yourself try not to get too wrapped up in it.

You definitely need to just push through the awkward and chat about what happened. You've been under the influence of alcohol which has affected your decisions, so you need to make him aware of that in case he is expecting anything to come of this encounter you had with him.
Pushing through the awkward, going to have the chat and finding what to say in the chat are extremely different challenges, its difficult to word that at the time i liked the Bj but I don't think i'm gay. As said I was slightly intoxicated at the start but I was able to know and recall what i was doing. I don't really want to hurt his feelings but idk how to resolve it with minimal damage. I am unsure how not to word it constructively without coming across as a massive ****.
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Megatron123
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(Original post by HoldThisL)
the rules of being gay in 2019 allow for a 'no homo' to cover previous actions IF said within 7 days of the event
I wish things were that easy.
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(Original post by Megatron123)
Hello i guess, finally sober enough to make this post

I've got 2 roommates who I've known and been friends with for a very long time and one of them recently told me he was gay, really genuinely likes me, has liked me for a long time and has finally been able to explain his feelings to me, we both are introverts so that is very unexpected. I had recently finally severed ties with my on again off again girlfriend who'd i'd blindly been following. I wasn't in the happiest of moods and slightly intoxicated and chilling out ended up with him giving me a Bj. I haven't spoken to him now in two days because i've been avoiding him but mainly I've been very drunk. I dont think im gay and im unsure how to deal with his feelings since I think he actually feels for me which is a new feeling and looking back over the years ive known him i think ive just been oblivious to when he has been slightly flirty and ive have a few suspicions but I didn't that he liked me in this way. Its a strange feeling because no one has ever really "like liked" (cringe) me to my knowledge and the first person to do was him. Im a selfish and arrogant and very shy + introverted which has definitely contributed to my lack of fans and for him to see past that and still like me in that way is confusing. I enjoyed the bj for sure but i dont think im mentally gay (is that a thing) idk, strange times indeed.

I dont know why i messed around with him but now I feel a bit ****ty since ive acted like a **** and really idk what to do or say

Sorry for the below standard grammar.
What happened at the end? Did you finish in his mouth? Or, did you guys stop the bj before finishing?

He might feel like he took advantage of you while you were drunk. Or, he might also think you could be gay but that you're in denial. I'm certain that among you both it's him that's conflicted the most considering that he's had such strong feelings for you all these years.

By the way, messing around with a guy doesn't mean you're gay. You had a bit of fun, that's fine. You can choose to have more fun or not but that's all it is - fun. It doesn't matter because you'd rather settle with a girl. Just make sure you don't hurt your friend who most certainly is gay and would like to settle with a guy.
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.unknown
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You might be bisexual
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Welshvisitor
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I think you’ll need to work it through with a counsellor as there’s a lot to it and consequences for your friendship. At some point you’re going to come fade to face with your room mate and will need to talk to him about it. It’ll be embarrassing but it needs to be done. How do you feel about him now your sober, would you let him blow you again? Or does that thought appall you? Take strength to have a chat with him.
Last edited by Welshvisitor; 3 days ago
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AdviceGiver69420
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Honestly bro i think you should just take the L and just take him out for a spin. Besides it might now be gay, cuz it could be a Brojob.
Also, how much is he packing?
Just curious
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fat__boy
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I have had a few sexual encounters with guys, but am not gay. At a sexual level it is fun, exciting, and different, and very enjoyable, but I dont love guys in the way I do girls, if you know what I mean. So my advice is to enjoy yourself and dont put a label on, remember, there are no rules!
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Bio 7
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You can be heteroromantic and bisexual they are not exclusive. You don't need to conform to anything though, just know that sexual and romantic attractions are complicated and can take years to work out.
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Megatron123
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What happened at the end? Did you finish in his mouth? Or, did you guys stop the bj before finishing?

He might feel like he took advantage of you while you were drunk. Or, he might also think you could be gay but that you're in denial. I'm certain that among you both it's him that's conflicted the most considering that he's had such strong feelings for you all these years.

By the way, messing around with a guy doesn't mean you're gay. You had a bit of fun, that's fine. You can choose to have more fun or not but that's all it is - fun. It doesn't matter because you'd rather settle with a girl. Just make sure you don't hurt your friend who most certainly is gay and would like to settle with a guy.
Does where and if i finished make a difference? I don't think he took advantage of me since I was sober enough to know what I was doing at the time. I'm unsure on how to go forward since I don't want to hurt a friend
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Megatron123
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(Original post by Welshvisitor)
I think you’ll need to work it through with a counsellor as there’s a lot to it and consequences for your friendship. At some point you’re going to come fade to face with your room mate and will need to talk to him about it. It’ll be embarrassing but it needs to be done. How do you feel about him now your sober, would you let him blow you again? Or does that thought appall you? Take strength to have a chat with him.
Idk i got conflicting feelings. Never been attracted to guys and still not attracted to guys or him, however I enjoy bjs and i don't receive them as often as I would like. Very conflicting feelings and I also dont want to say or do anything to hurt him since he's a good friend. Its also very difficult to have that chat and very difficult to explain my feelings
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fat__boy
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(Original post by Megatron123)
Does where and if i finished make a difference? I don't think he took advantage of me since I was sober enough to know what I was doing at the time. I'm unsure on how to go forward since I don't want to hurt a friend
He is more worried he has offended you, because you are avoiding him, and arent gay. Talk to him, tell him what happened isnt a big deal, just one of those things between friends and that you still really like him as a friend.
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TdS2019
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(Original post by Megatron123)
Hello i guess, finally sober enough to make this post

I've got 2 roommates who I've known and been friends with for a very long time and one of them recently told me he was gay, really genuinely likes me, has liked me for a long time and has finally been able to explain his feelings to me, we both are introverts so that is very unexpected. I had recently finally severed ties with my on again off again girlfriend who'd i'd blindly been following. I wasn't in the happiest of moods and slightly intoxicated and chilling out ended up with him giving me a Bj. I haven't spoken to him now in two days because i've been avoiding him but mainly I've been very drunk. I dont think im gay and im unsure how to deal with his feelings since I think he actually feels for me which is a new feeling and looking back over the years ive known him i think ive just been oblivious to when he has been slightly flirty and ive have a few suspicions but I didn't that he liked me in this way. Its a strange feeling because no one has ever really "like liked" (cringe) me to my knowledge and the first person to do was him. Im a selfish and arrogant and very shy + introverted which has definitely contributed to my lack of fans and for him to see past that and still like me in that way is confusing. I enjoyed the bj for sure but i dont think im mentally gay (is that a thing) idk, strange times indeed.

I dont know why i messed around with him but now I feel a bit ****ty since ive acted like a **** and really idk what to do or say
Quick question, was that other guy drunk too?
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by Megatron123)
Idk i got conflicting feelings. Never been attracted to guys and still not attracted to guys or him, however I enjoy bjs and i don't receive them as often as I would like. Very conflicting feelings and I also dont want to say or do anything to hurt him since he's a good friend. Its also very difficult to have that chat and very difficult to explain my feelings
You literally just explained your feelings; it's that simple. You don't know what his response will be and it's completely understandable to be worried, and it's THAT that's stopping you from talking to him, not any difficulty in explaining how you feel.

The way you're treating him now - avoiding him when previously you were good friends - is certainly more hurtful to him than explaining how you feel ever could be. Just get it over with!
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cheerIeader
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how could you....

it's easier to forgive an enemy than it is a friend.
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Welshvisitor
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(Original post by Megatron123)
Idk i got conflicting feelings. Never been attracted to guys and still not attracted to guys or him, however I enjoy bjs and i don't receive them as often as I would like. Very conflicting feelings and I also dont want to say or do anything to hurt him since he's a good friend. Its also very difficult to have that chat and very difficult to explain my feelings
He’s probably feeing bad right now. Explain your thoughts and feelings to him. If you like BJs and he can put romantic feelings aside I don’t see why you couldn’t have more.
Last edited by Welshvisitor; 2 days ago
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Megatron123
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
You literally just explained your feelings; it's that simple. You don't know what his response will be and it's completely understandable to be worried, and it's THAT that's stopping you from talking to him, not any difficulty in explaining how you feel.

The way you're treating him now - avoiding him when previously you were good friends - is certainly more hurtful to him than explaining how you feel ever could be. Just get it over with!
I guess its difficult to explain it to his face and awkward as well. Getting it over with is immensely difficult.
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