Why are people so mean
I'm old enough to not let other people affect me when They are being nasty and underhand to me but sometimes I really get fed up with it and think its so unfair that people can be so cruel to other people especially when it's unjustified. I'm always advising other people to ignore bullies and not let it affect you and thats what I've been doing myself but sometimes it just really gets to me and i feel so angry about how I'm being treated at work. My colleagues arr so lovely appreciative of how hard i work and they respect me as their manager and know how much i respect and appreciate them but my own managers treat me like **** and take advantage of me all day long. They know I'm pushed to the limit work wise but still pile on more work and almost want me to fail. My team have been so amaz ing and are supporting me so much but my line managers are literally breaking me. I know work isn't everything but i like to do a good job and I like to feel secure at work. I don't like people taking advantage of me and lying about me but I have no control whatsoever about that. It really frustrates me. I'm not your typical manager as I'm not hard nosed and desperate to shout about how "great I am at this and that and how I came up with the idea of this and that" I'm not that desperate and needy for approval that I make other people look bad to make myself feel good so I don't get why other people want to do that to me. It's really getting me down and I'm having to go into work knowing management are taking the piss out of me and discrediting me. I'm.still going on smilling and acting as though i don't know but inside I feel like crying and calling them out on it. I'm not a confrontational person so when im being belittled and patronized at work I've just acted dumb while they're all having a good laugh at my expense. They know they can get away with it because I'm too professional to "kick off" or cause a scene but I do want them to realise that I'm a person, I work hard and I'm really upset with how cruel they are being towards to me. Am I doing the right thing in ignoring it or is it time I spoke up myself and fought my corner. I just wish everyone could be nice to eachother
Original post by gjd800
You don't need to kick off to stand up for yourself to arsey managers, and i really think that ye owe it to yourself to do that if you think they are taking the mickey
Don't let them get away with it
Don't let them get away with it
How do I let them know in a way that maintains my self respect. It's so tough
Original post by Fruits125
How do I let them know in a way that maintains my self respect. It's so tough
You can ask them for a quiet word and firmly but politely put across to them that you do not appreciate the way that they are treating you for x, y, z reasons
It is hard to do the first time, but once you have done it, it gets much easier the next time
Original post by gjd800
You can ask them for a quiet word and firmly but politely put across to them that you do not appreciate the way that they are treating you for x, y, z reasons
It is hard to do the first time, but once you have done it, it gets much easier the next time
It is hard to do the first time, but once you have done it, it gets much easier the next time
I think i need to say something but so scared it will cause me more problems. They are all friends and I'm the outsider. I just hate that they think it's ok to treat people like this.
Original post by Fruits125
I think i need to say something but so scared it will cause me more problems. They are all friends and I'm the outsider. I just hate that they think it's ok to treat people like this.
You could collate some evidence and go over their heads to a higher manager, or even to HR?
Original post by Fruits125
Yes I've done this. I've kept a diary and documented everything that's been happening over the last few weeks. Just need to find the guts to raise it. Thanks so much for replying
That is a really good step towards getting this fixed. I'm not sure what the complaints procedure is where you work, but you should be able to approach someone that is completely detached form the situation (and so does not know these other people and could not conspire with them) to mediate this. In my previous jobs, this route has always been facilitated via someone in HR
I hope that you get sorted, best of luck
Original post by gjd800
That is a really good step towards getting this fixed. I'm not sure what the complaints procedure is where you work, but you should be able to approach someone that is completely detached form the situation (and so does not know these other people and could not conspire with them) to mediate this. In my previous jobs, this route has always been facilitated via someone in HR
I hope that you get sorted, best of luck
I hope that you get sorted, best of luck
Thank you so much! Xxx
Original post by Fruits125
How do I let them know in a way that maintains my self respect. It's so tough
Its only tough because you are fearful of standing up for yourself. You say that you defend people against bullies but you don't apply that to yourself! Why not? The first thing to do is to be honest with yourself: you seek approval from everyone - including those who are determined to disrespect you in a variety of ways! So the answer is always the same in these situations: answer bacj, dtand up for yourself, don't laugh off things that inwardly make up want to cry! Refuse unreasonable workloads as well ,regardless of the psychological abuse that they will threaten you with . Life starts with courage!
Original post by Fruits125
I think i need to say something but so scared it will cause me more problems. They are all friends and I'm the outsider. I just hate that they think it's ok to treat people like this.
Well ,there is your answer. You are too scared to stand up for yourself because they"are all friends". Can you now see how bullies get away with bulls..t!?? Why, also, do you allow yourself to suffer by expecting everyone else, especially at work, to have the same respect morals as you? Its not about what goes on in their minds that really matters; it is how you allow yourself to be treated. That is actually the real issue.
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