I am a giant Union Jack wearing toy bulldog AMA! Watch

Reality Check
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#41
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#41
(Original post by londonmyst)
Stuff in it your mouth, then morph into the big bad wolf and pretend you are little red riding hood's nana.
I usually prefer my meat meals cooked and served with sauce.
:rofl:
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londonmyst
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#42
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#42
(Original post by Glaz)
:eviltongue: insolent *****
Temper temper, human bean! :giggle:
Now which cake shall I eat first?
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londonmyst
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#43
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#43
Chocolate fudge or one of the 3 cream cakes...:eating:

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Glaz
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#44
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#44
(Original post by londonmyst)
Temper temper, human bean! :giggle:
I'm a cat
(Original post by londonmyst)
Now which cake shall I eat first?
*chomp*
oh..
whoops...
looks like i ate them all
oh no...
:teehee:
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londonmyst
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#45
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#45
(Original post by Glaz)
I'm a cat

*chomp*
oh..
whoops...
looks like i ate them all
oh no...
:teehee:
I've never found a house cat smart enough to type.
You must be one of the MEOW-MEOW intelligence agents.
I hear that after a few years of intensive training: they can type, hiss and have nightmares about bath-time simultaneously.

My favourite little snack is feline chop suet.
Tastier than foie gras, contains more calories than a happy meal and more juice on the bone than beef steak.
Pleased to EAT you.
I mean MEAT YOU!
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BlueIndigoViolet
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#46
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#46
Thoughts on the SNP?
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Glaz
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#47
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#47
(Original post by londonmyst)
I've never found a house cat smart enough to type.
Well I'm very smart, thank you very much
Much smarter than you at least

(Original post by londonmyst)
You must be one of the MEOW-MEOW intelligence agents.
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you :007:

(Original post by londonmyst)
I hear that after a few years of intensive training: they can type,
Clearly

(Original post by londonmyst)
hiss
*hiss spit scratch*

(Original post by londonmyst)
and have nightmares about bath-time simultaneously.
Only when the water is cold :afraid:

(Original post by londonmyst)
My favourite little snack is feline chop suet.
Tastier than foie gras, contains more calories than a happy meal and more juice on the bone than beef steak.
Pleased to EAT you.
I mean MEAT YOU!
I'm going to eat you if you don't shut up :yawn:
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londonmyst
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#48
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#48
(Original post by BlueIndigoViolet)
Thoughts on the SNP?
Absolutely horrifying- the very thought of them almost makes me choke on my usual St Andrew's Day feast of deep fried mars bars and haggis.
The political party, membership and minority government- whole lot of them give me the shivers.
They try to change my clothes, dress me in the The Saltire and snarl at me to support more referendums.

No Scottish independence!
Brexit means Brexit!
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Reality Check
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#49
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#49
If Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees Mogg simultaneously went to take one of your burgers off you, which hand would you bite first?
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londonmyst
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#50
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#50
(Original post by Glaz)
Well I'm very smart, thank you very much
Much smarter than you at least


I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you :007:


Clearly


*hiss spit scratch*


Only when the water is cold :afraid:


I'm going to eat you if you don't shut up :yawn:
I hear when rats kill mice and then self identify as cats to avoid starting a rodent civil war, the average iq levels of all three species increase.
You are welcome to have a nice long wash in my deep fat fryer, free bath-salts and a very warm temperature guaranteed.

I'm debating whether to MEAT you into a steak&kidney pie, weekend roast or margarita pizza topping. :ahee:
Maybe you'd also make a good Christmas novelty crisp flavour or kebab wrap.
Kindly avoid consuming any fish or green veg- I prefer not to include them in my meal plans.
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Glaz
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#51
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#51
(Original post by londonmyst)
I hear when rats kill mice and then self identify as cats to avoid starting a rodent civil war, the average iq levels of all three species increase.
You are welcome to have a nice long wash in my deep fat fryer, free bath-salts and a very warm temperature guaranteed.

I'm debating whether to MEAT you into a steak&kidney pie, weekend roast or margarita pizza topping. :ahee:
Maybe you'd also make a good Christmas novelty crisp flavour or kebab wrap.
Kindly avoid consuming any fish or green veg- I prefer not to include them in my meal plans.
You're annoying. Give me a nice lil puppy hug before I claw you to death
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londonmyst
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#52
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#52
I've guzzled the chocolate fudge slice!
Now it is time to choose between the cream cakes.

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londonmyst
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#53
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#53
(Original post by Reality Check)
If Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees Mogg simultaneously went to take one of your burgers off you, which hand would you bite first?
Got to be Boris, I'm desperate to get a taste of him before election day.
Need to figure out if he's my kind of Tory.
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Reality Check
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#54
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#54
(Original post by londonmyst)
Got to be Boris, I'm desperate to get a taste of him before election day.
Need to figure out if he's my kind of Tory.
I think he might be quite fatty. An unhealthy cut. Mind you, that should suit you. :laugh:
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londonmyst
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#55
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#55
I've found another tea time treat. :yeah:
It's another cream cake- with extra strawberry flavour.
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londonmyst
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#56
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#56
(Original post by Reality Check)
I think he might be quite fatty. An unhealthy cut. Mind you, that should suit you. :laugh:
Sounds delicious.
My favourite takeaways are always: very oily, contain lots of salt, filled with saturated fats, quite boozy and with sugar levels give Jamie Oliver sky high blood pressure.
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londonmyst
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#57
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#57
I'm 1/3 of the way through a very tasty strawberry cream cake. :yum:

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londonmyst
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#58
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#58
(Original post by Glaz)
You're annoying. Give me a nice lil puppy hug before I claw you to death
Patience cat-food, I've nearly finished my tea.
Soon it will be dinner time!

How would you like your name written on my menu?
Filet mignon le félin?
Purr-fect pizza?
Kitty kebab?


Don't forget to type out your will. :ciao:
Plus record a video note for the rest of MEOW-MEOW, letting them know that you are approaching the end of all nine lives.
It takes a long time for feline intelligence to train a new cat how to multitask, maintaining a basic level of feline functionality whilst also whimpering in terror at the thought of a wash. :rofl3:
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Glaz
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#59
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#59
(Original post by londonmyst)
Patience cat-food, I've nearly finished my tea.
Soon it will be dinner time!

How would you like your name written on my menu?
Filet mignon le félin?
Purr-fect pizza?
Kitty kebab?


Don't forget to type out your will. :ciao:
Plus record a video note for the rest of MEOW-MEOW, letting them know that you are approaching the end of all nine lives.
It takes a long time for feline intelligence to train a new cat how to multitask, maintaining a basic level of feline functionality whilst also whimpering in terror at the thought of a wash. :rofl3:
Would you prefer to be clawed to death or bitten to death?
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londonmyst
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#60
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#60
(Original post by Glaz)
Would you prefer to be clawed to death or bitten to death?
Careful not to snap your claws off or bite off more than you can chew.
It's a dog eat dog world.
One taste of a Union Jack wearing bulldog can be fatal to felines, remainers and members of the snp.
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