I have No friends at uni
Hi there, I'm a guy,19 ,took a gap year and went to newcastle univeristy. When I arrived at my halls everyone else had already been there a day and some more for pre season. One girl made an effort to talk to me and invited me out. I felt quite awkward but it was okay. During freshers week I didn't see half my flat for the first 4 days. I haven't got to know many of them yet and I've been at uni for 3 weeks, the only time I see them is in the kitchen. Everyone in my halls went to private school which is weird, but as a result they had so many connections from boarding schools that they only hanged out with their school friends. So I am not yet mates with them. As a result I go to dinner and breakfast alone every day. I have joined a couple of societies and made a few friends but not ones that I feel comfortable asking to the pub. I'm in a mixed flat, but there are lots of all guy and girl flats, where the guys go to dinner together and so do the girls, people are already talking about who they are living with next year and I feel like I don't know anyone well enough to message.. I used to suffer with social anxiety so I am not as outgoing as I'd like, I am somewhat extroverted and like going out, but not on my own that's the worst feeling in the world. I go to the gym 5 times a week but have no regular activities. I have ADHD so organising my life is really difficult and it is hard for me to remember things like social events. I would say I have a really decent personality, I'm kind, good humoured, humble and fun, but I'm yet to find my group of people . My course is mostly guys and they seem alright and I've kind of tried to move into a group, but I'm not sure I'm in 'with the lads ' just yet .Should I move flat? , how do I improve this? And is anyone experiencing this too?
Original post by Lostguy0147
Hi there, I'm a guy,19 ,took a gap year and went to newcastle univeristy. When I arrived at my halls everyone else had already been there a day and some more for pre season. One girl made an effort to talk to me and invited me out. I felt quite awkward but it was okay. During freshers week I didn't see half my flat for the first 4 days. I haven't got to know many of them yet and I've been at uni for 3 weeks, the only time I see them is in the kitchen. Everyone in my halls went to private school which is weird, but as a result they had so many connections from boarding schools that they only hanged out with their school friends. So I am not yet mates with them. As a result I go to dinner and breakfast alone every day. I have joined a couple of societies and made a few friends but not ones that I feel comfortable asking to the pub. I'm in a mixed flat, but there are lots of all guy and girl flats, where the guys go to dinner together and so do the girls, people are already talking about who they are living with next year and I feel like I don't know anyone well enough to message.. I used to suffer with social anxiety so I am not as outgoing as I'd like, I am somewhat extroverted and like going out, but not on my own that's the worst feeling in the world. I go to the gym 5 times a week but have no regular activities. I have ADHD so organising my life is really difficult and it is hard for me to remember things like social events. I would say I have a really decent personality, I'm kind, good humoured, humble and fun, but I'm yet to find my group of people . My course is mostly guys and they seem alright and I've kind of tried to move into a group, but I'm not sure I'm in 'with the lads ' just yet .Should I move flat? , how do I improve this? And is anyone experiencing this too?
Hi there! I’m a 2nd year at Bristol. So sorry to hear it’s taking you a while to find the right people. I myself am a quiet and introverted person and found it really hard to find my group of friends in first year. My advice is to just keep talking to your flatmates whenever you run into them and just ask them about the societies they’ve joined as well. If you’re interested in any of those, say you’ll tag along with them for a session. I know especially with social anxiety, we tend to overthink every little thing that we say or do in front of others. But just try to relax and have a fun time and your personality should come out on it’s own. Even though freshers is over, there should still be a few pub crawls or socials that you can head to. You don’t have to be directly invited. Just tag along with a coursemate or someone you’ve met and see how it goes. Although a lot of ppl maybe talking about moving in together next year, a lot of these plans fall apart so don’t let it pressurise you to find your friends group asap. Just let it come to you and be yourself and be patient.
I know it can feel really lonely and frustrating when students tend to group together and leave people out but uni is such a big place and it’s ok to branch out and find friends in a different course/society that you wouldn’t have normally considered joining. You don’t have to be best friends with your flatmates; I definitely wasn’t but we still remained civil towards each other. That’s pretty much all you need. Always remember that you can go out alone and still meet new people; you just need to be brave enough to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit. I hope things work out for you.
If you need any help, just drop me a message
But other than that, just wait it out and try new societies out to find your crowd! And most importantly. Try to enjoy first year
Try joining your uni course society and it will help you to connect with the people on your course better. As you will have something in common to talk about and arrange to meet up.
By the way I’m at Newcastle uni and I took gap year as well. You will be fine!!
By the way I’m at Newcastle uni and I took gap year as well. You will be fine!!
I have no friends either. I've been in uni for over a year. Currently in second year and I just want it to be over.
Such a tiring, miserable and boring experience.
Such a tiring, miserable and boring experience.
Original post by FavUniStudent678
I too have no friends. I have been told that making imaginary friends can help. I have a mate called Jimmy. I let him do things that aren't allowed to be said on here. You should do the same 
These are like the First signs of schizophrenia.
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