Please can you help me reach out to friends? Watch

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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
I have had a bereavement this year, and I have put on four stone since June. I am sorry for posting this on here - I am just miserable and have no friends to talk to, and I have completely shut myself off. I have Aspergers and am having trouble reaching out to my friends from University. I have shut myself off so much recently, and just want to speak to some of my friends - many of which say to me that they are 'always there' to talk/even meet up. I, however, always have so much difficulty in reaching out to them, as I don't know how to initiate the conversation.

I am lonely and have no friends to talk to at the moment. Please could you help me write a message to help me reach out to friends and be able to speak to them? What I normally end up writing when I get this lonely/down is that 'I am lonely and I have no friends', something that those who I send it too always rebutte when I send it to them (as they say they are friends). I just want to find a way to initiate conversation with them *before* I reach that point, as I imagine that I am annoying them when I get there and denying that they are my friend.

For instance, I would like to invite one or my friends from University to play football or frisbee with me when I next visit London. I would like to play Frisbee with my friends in Green Park, if they would (I am afraid that a dog could take the frisbee though!)

I have messaged this friend before (when I have been feeling like this), and they have said to me ' [My name is Redacted] you can always talk to me and i dont know of anyone who hates you you're such a lovely person. I think you just need to gain perspective on the situation you feel you're in. Has something made you feel this way today? Because like i've said before, i dont know anyone that hates you. There are lots of people who care about you and want you to be ok'.

This friend, when they came back up to University to visit, invited me to play frisbee with them last year, and I enjoyed it and talking to/catching up with them.

I am thinking of writing a message such as:

Hi [Name Redacted],

How are you doing? I miss speaking to my friends a lot. I was just wondering if you ever wanted to meet up again to play frisbee or football and talk? I wish that I could meet with you to play with the frisbee again when I next come to London.

Please could you help me write a message to reach out to my friends, both the one I want to play frisbee with, and my other friends too? I do not have my mentor support worker available to help me at the moment (as she normally would), as my normal support mentor is currently on leave, and I have yet to be allocated a replacement.

I miss my friends, and really want to play frisbee with this one again and talk to my them and my other again. Please could you all help me write a message that will help me, as I have Aspergers, and no support workers available to help me. I miss my friends so much. I am lonely - please help me reach out. Please help me. I have never felt so down and isolated after this bereavement. Please.
Badges: 15
Report 4 weeks ago
Do you contact them on Instant Messaging platforms? The tone suggests its a more formal way?

I don't think mentioning "I miss speaking to my friends a lot." helps too much as it makes you sound desperate, while it might be true, it sort of feel a bit like fishing for sympathy.

You can go back to DSA and request a new company to facilitate mentoring if the current ones are playing you about.

I'd just be direct and to the point (if I had the confidence to send the message in the first place):

Hi [Name],

Hope you are well, I was wondering if you like to meet up and do [activity] at some point?
[Perhaps insert personal anecdote here]


If however it's instant messaging platforms, a simple "Hi" might start the ball rolling

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