how to meet new people in 2nd year of uni Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
I need some knowledge/advice on how I can meet new people in my second year of uni. My uni is in Liverpool and everywhere I go (walking along the corridors/the canteen/library etc) everyone is in friendship groups, everyone is happy, smiling and enjoying themselves. Whilst I'm miserable just wanting to have at least one person/friend around me. When we first started I got on well with one girl on my course simply because of similar interests etc and we instantly clicked, everything fell apart when she left uni earlier this year. Feel like I've been completely distance to those around me and no one wants to initiate anything. I'm now left with my course mates, our classes have gone smaller this year because most people have left, and everyone is fixed with their own circle of friends/groups on the course. And I'm left like an outcast. My course mates are not typically my type of people neither do they connect well with me, and it's the same, I don't connect well with them either. We have no similar interests and no genuine connection at all, even when I try to initiate conversations it feels forced and I know it's forced, I can tell by their facial experiences that they don't want to talk to me. And it makes me uncomfortable. I have been trying since the beginning to connect with them but it's just not working, which I have accepted. The only time we connect is when we are forced todo group projects/assignments together.
I really want my own circle of friends and it's so hard. I have been trying. I lived in the uni halls of for my first year and didn't really connect with my flatmates either but regardless I still managed to interact with them, even if it was for 2 minutes in the kitchen, it was still something. Its a new term and all and I still feel so alone because I'm like hanging by a thread trying to be amongst a group. I have nowhere to go during my breaks and I don't want to be even more alone if I was to be myself so I'm with my course mates everyday which is so miserable. I can observe and see who gets along with each other in the group because they seem so happy talking etc and I'm left like I don't exist even when I contribute to discussions. Because of this, I moved into halls again for my second year and thought it would be a lot more positive and different. Now I don't even see my flatmates, it's very rare to at least see them opening or locking their door or in fact in the kitchen. I live with two girls and it's a shame that I haven't got to know them properly. I'm thinking of just taking matters into my own hands and just arranging something for us to do together, so I can get the opportunity to know them more. I feel so alone because I'm putting in all of this effort and I feel like no one is acceptance or willing todo the same. I even joined a cultural society last week and met some new people, got on well with the girl sitting beside me that we ended up exchanging details and spend our breaks on Thursday together last week. I'm not planning on rushing anything because I want it to be a genuine friendship, and I want it to last. But what I ideally want is a friendship group of people I truly get along with etc, and I have not found them. It really makes me so upset and I don't know how to go about it.
How I can meet new people in 2nd year of uni?
The other societies in my uni are so uninteresting and seem so boring that I can't even imagine forcing myself to go to just for the sake of it, the sports ones are eh, tried it before - people have no time for interactions, they just want to get straight into playing the game.
I want a range of friends, those who study different courses to me, those who are friendly, nice and genuine, those who come from all sorts of backgrounds and ethnic minorities, those with similar interests/connections and etc.
What can I do? Help me please
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Bellbird_19
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#2
Report 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I need some knowledge/advice on how I can meet new people in my second year of uni. My uni is in Liverpool and everywhere I go (walking along the corridors/the canteen/library etc) everyone is in friendship groups, everyone is happy, smiling and enjoying themselves. Whilst I'm miserable just wanting to have at least one person/friend around me. When we first started I got on well with one girl on my course simply because of similar interests etc and we instantly clicked, everything fell apart when she left uni earlier this year. Feel like I've been completely distance to those around me and no one wants to initiate anything. I'm now left with my course mates, our classes have gone smaller this year because most people have left, and everyone is fixed with their own circle of friends/groups on the course. And I'm left like an outcast. My course mates are not typically my type of people neither do they connect well with me, and it's the same, I don't connect well with them either. We have no similar interests and no genuine connection at all, even when I try to initiate conversations it feels forced and I know it's forced, I can tell by their facial experiences that they don't want to talk to me. And it makes me uncomfortable. I have been trying since the beginning to connect with them but it's just not working, which I have accepted. The only time we connect is when we are forced todo group projects/assignments together.
I really want my own circle of friends and it's so hard. I have been trying. I lived in the uni halls of for my first year and didn't really connect with my flatmates either but regardless I still managed to interact with them, even if it was for 2 minutes in the kitchen, it was still something. Its a new term and all and I still feel so alone because I'm like hanging by a thread trying to be amongst a group. I have nowhere to go during my breaks and I don't want to be even more alone if I was to be myself so I'm with my course mates everyday which is so miserable. I can observe and see who gets along with each other in the group because they seem so happy talking etc and I'm left like I don't exist even when I contribute to discussions. Because of this, I moved into halls again for my second year and thought it would be a lot more positive and different. Now I don't even see my flatmates, it's very rare to at least see them opening or locking their door or in fact in the kitchen. I live with two girls and it's a shame that I haven't got to know them properly. I'm thinking of just taking matters into my own hands and just arranging something for us to do together, so I can get the opportunity to know them more. I feel so alone because I'm putting in all of this effort and I feel like no one is acceptance or willing todo the same. I even joined a cultural society last week and met some new people, got on well with the girl sitting beside me that we ended up exchanging details and spend our breaks on Thursday together last week. I'm not planning on rushing anything because I want it to be a genuine friendship, and I want it to last. But what I ideally want is a friendship group of people I truly get along with etc, and I have not found them. It really makes me so upset and I don't know how to go about it.
How I can meet new people in 2nd year of uni?
The other societies in my uni are so uninteresting and seem so boring that I can't even imagine forcing myself to go to just for the sake of it, the sports ones are eh, tried it before - people have no time for interactions, they just want to get straight into playing the game.
I want a range of friends, those who study different courses to me, those who are friendly, nice and genuine, those who come from all sorts of backgrounds and ethnic minorities, those with similar interests/connections and etc.
What can I do? Help me please
Hi there,

I would suggest possibly moving house when it becomes possible to meet new people. Perhaps seek out a friendly and social house, and try to find a house with people from different courses to live with and a social house where it seems that people hang out together. It might not even be with students. I would also give clubs another go, you will find "your people" if you keep trying. Outdoors clubs like hiking/walking/camping are great as you are kind of forced to bond with people on trips. Also, give it time with the clubs, it might seem not that social at first but I am sure after a while you will get to know some people. If you are into team sports this is another way to make friends, even if you're not that good if you played any sport at school I am sure there must be a social league somewhere. Lastly, there are probably lots of other people in the same boat as you perhaps who moved from abroad or other parts of the country so hopefully you will find a chance to meet others in the same position soon.

Good luck!
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Liverpool Hope University
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#3
Report 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I need some knowledge/advice on how I can meet new people in my second year of uni. My uni is in Liverpool and everywhere I go (walking along the corridors/the canteen/library etc) everyone is in friendship groups, everyone is happy, smiling and enjoying themselves. Whilst I'm miserable just wanting to have at least one person/friend around me. When we first started I got on well with one girl on my course simply because of similar interests etc and we instantly clicked, everything fell apart when she left uni earlier this year. Feel like I've been completely distance to those around me and no one wants to initiate anything. I'm now left with my course mates, our classes have gone smaller this year because most people have left, and everyone is fixed with their own circle of friends/groups on the course. And I'm left like an outcast. My course mates are not typically my type of people neither do they connect well with me, and it's the same, I don't connect well with them either. We have no similar interests and no genuine connection at all, even when I try to initiate conversations it feels forced and I know it's forced, I can tell by their facial experiences that they don't want to talk to me. And it makes me uncomfortable. I have been trying since the beginning to connect with them but it's just not working, which I have accepted. The only time we connect is when we are forced todo group projects/assignments together.
I really want my own circle of friends and it's so hard. I have been trying. I lived in the uni halls of for my first year and didn't really connect with my flatmates either but regardless I still managed to interact with them, even if it was for 2 minutes in the kitchen, it was still something. Its a new term and all and I still feel so alone because I'm like hanging by a thread trying to be amongst a group. I have nowhere to go during my breaks and I don't want to be even more alone if I was to be myself so I'm with my course mates everyday which is so miserable. I can observe and see who gets along with each other in the group because they seem so happy talking etc and I'm left like I don't exist even when I contribute to discussions. Because of this, I moved into halls again for my second year and thought it would be a lot more positive and different. Now I don't even see my flatmates, it's very rare to at least see them opening or locking their door or in fact in the kitchen. I live with two girls and it's a shame that I haven't got to know them properly. I'm thinking of just taking matters into my own hands and just arranging something for us to do together, so I can get the opportunity to know them more. I feel so alone because I'm putting in all of this effort and I feel like no one is acceptance or willing todo the same. I even joined a cultural society last week and met some new people, got on well with the girl sitting beside me that we ended up exchanging details and spend our breaks on Thursday together last week. I'm not planning on rushing anything because I want it to be a genuine friendship, and I want it to last. But what I ideally want is a friendship group of people I truly get along with etc, and I have not found them. It really makes me so upset and I don't know how to go about it.
How I can meet new people in 2nd year of uni?
The other societies in my uni are so uninteresting and seem so boring that I can't even imagine forcing myself to go to just for the sake of it, the sports ones are eh, tried it before - people have no time for interactions, they just want to get straight into playing the game.
I want a range of friends, those who study different courses to me, those who are friendly, nice and genuine, those who come from all sorts of backgrounds and ethnic minorities, those with similar interests/connections and etc.
What can I do? Help me please
Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time at university.

I myself joined into a university course in the second year so I know what it is like to be amongst groups of people who are already settled. It isn't the easiest of tasks but in the end I did have a group that I could chat to and hang out with.

I think you have done the right thing so far looking at societies, chatting to flatmates and classmates. You could talk to your university about jobs, most likely they will have something like a careers/employability hub. It isn't always going to be the most social depending on the day but it allows you to meet more people who may have similar interests and study at the same university.

If the university doesn't have any jobs accessible at the time you can always look for jobs in the city.

It is a difficult task to undertake especially when people don't 'click' with you right away. If I can give a few pieces of advice the first would just be to not let the pursuit of a group of friends get you down, it is a difficult task to find people to connect with even in a large institution, in fact sometimes that makes it even more difficult so try to not let it affect your days/studies.

The second would be to try to be confident if that is something you are struggling with. It seems like you are a bold person but be sure to keep the confidence up, sometimes chipping away with bits of conversation can end up allowing conversation to naturally flow and spark a friendship.

The final suggestion would be that when you are chatting to people if you ask questions that are genuine and let them talk in tangents and get them talking it helps draw out conversation you can respond to rather than having the small talk that is commonly thrown around . Some people can be hard to get conversation out of but I personally find this helps. Even if it doesn't lead to a major friendship in the end its sometimes nice to just have a pleasant conversation with someone and I'm sure will make a difference to your time at university if you have to work with them or see them daily.

I hope all that is useful and makes sense!

Best of luck to you.

Patrick :lep:
Last edited by Liverpool Hope University; 4 weeks ago
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