I think I need a break from my relationship Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
Hello all,
We have been together 2 years. We both love each other very much though I feel as if something is missing. It is both our first serious relationship, and we are both in our early 20’s.
I am so torn. We have a perfect future together including marriage children and a home. We are saving for a home deposit now. Though part of me is always wondering. I feel like I didn’t experience life before meeting him. I have this urge that something is missing from our relationship too.
I risk throwing away everything for such uncertainty and I hate that. But I wish I had done my partying, had my summer flings before settling down into a committed relationship.
I guess I just need advice on what to do. Would I be so stupid to say goodbye and risk never finding someone as genuine and as loving as him? Or is it necessary to feel as if you are ready to find a long term partner to settle down AFTER you have experienced the world on your own and find out who you truely are?
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David B
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#2
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Summer flings? So you miss the fact you never slept with people before him?

Honestly you don't sound like you love him very much with thoughts like this. You say you're torn which would imply that you're 50/50 on the matter. If you loved someone then it would be an obvious answer.
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YaliaV
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Risk throwing what away? I think you’re crazy to be planning marriage and kids at your age. If you want to sow your wild oats, then you’ll resent him if you move in and get married. I think the relationship is over.
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Welshvisitor
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Yes, this isn’t uncommon. You can’t put your finger on it, it’s just something feels out of place. A loss of a right of passage that leads to eventually settling down once life’s been lived a little. It’s a hard call with much at risk. What is it exactly that’s missing ? Excitement, impulsivity, passion, freedom? It might be one or more of many things. Your gut is speaking to you so it’s best to listen. Maybe put the plans on hold for a family/house and do new things with him like going travelling together for a few months for instance. Perhaps you envisage a dull future. You’re still young, Seeing a counsellor to unpack all of this might be a beneficial exercise for you. Good luck 😉
Last edited by Welshvisitor; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #2
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This sounds like a common "is the grass greener the other side of the fence:

In practice it is very rarely is .. usually it is something regretted after ...but can never go back to once you let go.

Some say you are too young at your age, maybe but by your age most people your parents age were already married and starting families.. and in relationship that lasted lifetimes.
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello all,
We have been together 2 years. We both love each other very much though I feel as if something is missing. It is both our first serious relationship, and we are both in our early 20’s.
I am so torn. We have a perfect future together including marriage children and a home. We are saving for a home deposit now. Though part of me is always wondering. I feel like I didn’t experience life before meeting him. I have this urge that something is missing from our relationship too.
I risk throwing away everything for such uncertainty and I hate that. But I wish I had done my partying, had my summer flings before settling down into a committed relationship.
I guess I just need advice on what to do. Would I be so stupid to say goodbye and risk never finding someone as genuine and as loving as him? Or is it necessary to feel as if you are ready to find a long term partner to settle down AFTER you have experienced the world on your own and find out who you truely are?
You either want to be with him or not, going on a break is just a softer version of a break up. He don't deserve that, if you want to sleep with other people, be completely single but he would be a mug to take you back after
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Anonymous #3
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What you sow is what you reap. So think twice thrice b fore you take any step.
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CrazyKittenLady
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(Original post by Welshvisitor)
Yes, this isn’t uncommon. You can’t put your finger on it, it’s just something feels out of place. A loss of a right of passage that leads to eventually settling down once life’s been lived a little. It’s a hard call with much at risk. What is it exactly that’s missing ? Excitement, impulsivity, passion, freedom? It might be one or more of many things. Your gut is speaking to you so it’s best to listen. Maybe put the plans on hold for a family/house and do new things with him like going travelling together for a few months for instance. Perhaps you envisage a dull future. You’re still young, Seeing a counsellor to unpack all of this might be a beneficial exercise for you. Good luck 😉
You took the words right out of my mouth <3 I completely agree, I think before considering ending a good relationship try to spice up your relationship more and also try some new hobbies and activities by your self so you can establish more of your own identity. xxx
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Anonymous #4
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This exact thing happened to 2 of my really good friends. They then broke up and one of them went off travelling before they realised that they wanted to be together and now they are a couple again.
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Surnia
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The early excitement and spontaneity of a relationship can wear off after a while and you become comfortable with each other. That doesn't mean necessarily that something is missing, you've just settled down and got to know what works between you. You could go off and do all kinds of interesting things and get back with your current boyfriend or find someone else, but if a house and children are in your future how passionate do you think couples are when discussing who is putting the bins out or changing a nappy or mopping up vomit or doing the washing-up? Sometimes things will be mundane, but there's still scope for nice surprises and romance. You just need to decide what you want from life and from a partner, but be realistic about your expectations.
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Anonymous #5
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Hi i think u should experiance what u want do otherwise u will regret it in the future amd will not b happy
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