The Student Room Group

Poem, please review, urgent

......
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by Ashley456
Some deluded by a fatal misconception;
Some tricked by a concealed deception,
The pernicious death is an expectation;
But then it’s all about the perception,

Depends on what heart and mind faintly discern,
Is there fear embedded in your frontal concern?
From the fallen, their mistakes, we see and learn,
Don’t we all have a little from each other to earn?

Our different characters, we should play and admire,
But the innocents are burning, stuck in the cruel’s crossfire,
But together, our differences, we can use to inspire,
And help all our neighbors, get out of this hellfire.

We live with aspirations, of increasing our merit;
Because for some, wealth isn’t something we inherit.
Freedom, with humility, we fought hard for it;
Hoping, one day, we won’t need to be this desperate.

Hope, still being an emotion, in small quantities we carry;
Maybe one day, with water and mud, this fire we could bury.
The numbers of the accepting, are growing larger then the adversary.
Each of us, are slowly steering away from the cemetery;


As each family, are losing, one less heart, one less life.
Less of us, have to despise the need to carry small pocket knifes.
Vigorous efforts of day and night, showing results but for the better, we still strife
Garden of flowers, now availed to all, as we stand,taking in a breath of this new life

It's really moving to read, it's good :biggrin:

Is this for school/college?
Original post by Hazzabear
It's really moving to read, it's good :biggrin:

Is this for school/college?

It’s for my school assembly, thank you for review honestly, I was starting to think it was really bad 😂
Original post by Ashley456
It’s for my school assembly, thank you for review honestly, I was starting to think it was really bad 😂


Not bad at all!

Whens the school assembly?
Original post by Hazzabear
Not bad at all!

Whens the school assembly?

The approval of the assembly by the principle is tomorrow, then for the assembly a government body, kind of its hard to explain, are gonna attend the main assembly

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