Wish I could swear Watch
You think swearing is cool thing? and you said ''I want to make fun of people in a joking way like everyone else does to get closer to other people' you think that is cool also? Just live your life, you don't have to copy someone else's life. Be your own version. They might be good making jokes or swearing but you might be good for making something creative. As i can see, you grew up with the right family so be thankful. Discipline is something which is very essential, don't mess that up. Now your focus and energy is with people and how to make them like you, Imagine if you shift those focus and put into something better such as making something creative. Once your brain gets busy, trust me, you don't have time for this kind of stuff.
I guess you might be right... I just find it so hard to talk to people casually, everyone seems to swear, not in a mean way but in like a funny way that makes everyone laugh. Not swearing makes it so hard for me to fit into social groups and it just gets pretty lonely. Discipline is obviously an important thing and I’m glad it was such an important part of my childhood, but I just feel like discipline is ALL I ever developed growing up. I’m just all politeness, that literally all I am. And nobody finds that kind of thing fun, sure people like me because I’m nice but nobody enjoys talking to me for long. They always get bored of me and move on to have funny conversations with people who are good to talk to. I’ve found the best people to talk to, the most confident people, swear from time to time to immediately stop just boring politeness and move the conversation into something more memorable. I just want to get better at talking to people without being really dull... Hearing everyone laughing in groups around me really hurts because I know I can never make anyone laugh that much.