Winterfell01
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#1
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Growing up my parents were very strict about not swearing... So I never swore as a child, I was always told to be polite and just generally kind. All very well when I was a kid, it meant my parents could brag to friends that I was well behaved, and teachers would reward me for being kind... Except now I'm 18 and I feel like I'm just extremely boring. Not growing up swearing means I can't swear now, it just doesnt feel right. So that restricts me a lot in conversation, I can't joke around as much with people and laugh like "p*** off!" While friendly punching their arm, or just be all like "f*** I forgot this!" I never know how to express emotion in a way that sounds cool, just saying "oh no!" all the time instead of swearing makes me seem so childish and unconfident. People around me are so full of sarcasm and fun personalities, but because I was brought up to just be polite, I'm no fun at all. I just smile and be polite, I want to make fun of people in a joking way like everyone else does to get closer to other people, but I'm always just stuck at small talk forever because I never know what to say. I'm always stuck in my head wondering how to respond when someone says something funny, but I can never really say anything because the only good comebacks involve a bit of swearing... And everyone has already branded me "the nice girl" which I HATE. I get comments all the time like "you're so lovely" and "you're such a nice girl" "you're so innocent" and I get that they're meant to be compliments but I really hate myself because of this. I just feel like such a child, I just politely smile at people and I'm too shy to tell any funny stories or anything like that. I just wish I was brought up with a bit of tolerance to swearing... Then maybe I'd be more interesting. All the loud and "naughty children" around me when I was younger have grown up to be really cool, funny and nice people. Because growing up they had confidence. Sure as kids they used to be a bit rude but they still had the freedom to express themselves. Every time I tried to be sassy as a kid I'd get punished, and I completely lost that about myself. I can't be sassy, I would love to be like that but I just feel so restricted now that everyone has already branded me "the nice girl", saying anything sassy would just be completely out of character... I don't even know how to talk like that with ease and confidence, how do people come up with such amazing things to say straight from the top of their heads in a matter of seconds? When people try to talk to me I just freeze and anxiously try to say something that makes sense. I go through so many phrases that might be funny, but nothing seems to be funny without swearing! Swearing just makes everything so much funnier, and it makes the atmosphere so much more comfortable... You know when two people are very close when they can easily swear at each other and not get offended like "sup b****". I just don't think I'll ever get to that stage in a relationship with anyone because I dont swear... I know its easy to just say the words, but I seriously grew up very strictly when it came to swearing. I just feel like I had no personality growing up... I was like a doll on display, just told to be nice all the time and thats it. It was so dull! My parents would proudly show me off to other relatives and lap up all the compliments like "you've raised such a good girl" etc etc. And now I'm an adult I feel like a child, literally nobody I know is just nice. Everyone else has a cool and unique personality... I just sit and smile, compliment and help out. Which are good enough traits but not when thats ALL I am... It gets boring. Very quickly. People get bored of me easily and after a while people just stop talking to me because I get very repetitive. The same "how are you doing?" every day... In my head I keep trying to think of fun things to say but I never know how to phrase things when I'm feeling anxious, and I just always feel anxious. And so many times I can think of cool quick things I can say in a conversation, but I can't say them because they involve swearing... and I could say something instead of the swear word like "oh fudge!" But that just makes me seem like a child again... When theres a silence I always just tend to yawn and say "wow sorry, I dont know why I'm so tired!" Just to start a conversation. "I'm tired" is my go to phrase... But even then, once the conversation begins like "yeah same, didn't get much sleep last night" "oh no you need to sleep more" etc... The conversation dies so fast... And this conversation is something I repeat wayyy too often. Then its just silence as I try to think of some other way to start a conversation in a way that isn't just "I'm tired" or "how are you?" Everyone else is so good at it, naturally just coming up with things to say on the spot. Swearing clears the atmosphere and makes everyone laugh, but I can never do that and its a nightmare! Growing up "the nice girl" has made me SO socially awkward and all the kids who grew up always getting in trouble are now amazing sociably, lots of friends, full of confidence and great personalities.
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thelocalkid
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#2
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You think swearing is cool thing? and you said ''I want to make fun of people in a joking way like everyone else does to get closer to other people' you think that is cool also? Just live your life, you don't have to copy someone else's life. Be your own version. They might be good making jokes or swearing but you might be good for making something creative. As i can see, you grew up with the right family so be thankful. Discipline is something which is very essential, don't mess that up. Now your focus and energy is with people and how to make them like you, Imagine if you shift those focus and put into something better such as making something creative. Once your brain gets busy, trust me, you don't have time for this kind of stuff.
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Winterfell01
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(Original post by thelocalkid)
You think swearing is cool thing? and you said ''I want to make fun of people in a joking way like everyone else does to get closer to other people' you think that is cool also? Just live your life, you don't have to copy someone else's life. Be your own version. They might be good making jokes or swearing but you might be good for making something creative. As i can see, you grew up with the right family so be thankful. Discipline is something which is very essential, don't mess that up. Now your focus and energy is with people and how to make them like you, Imagine if you shift those focus and put into something better such as making something creative. Once your brain gets busy, trust me, you don't have time for this kind of stuff.
I guess you might be right... I just find it so hard to talk to people casually, everyone seems to swear, not in a mean way but in like a funny way that makes everyone laugh. Not swearing makes it so hard for me to fit into social groups and it just gets pretty lonely. Discipline is obviously an important thing and I’m glad it was such an important part of my childhood, but I just feel like discipline is ALL I ever developed growing up. I’m just all politeness, that literally all I am. And nobody finds that kind of thing fun, sure people like me because I’m nice but nobody enjoys talking to me for long. They always get bored of me and move on to have funny conversations with people who are good to talk to. I’ve found the best people to talk to, the most confident people, swear from time to time to immediately stop just boring politeness and move the conversation into something more memorable. I just want to get better at talking to people without being really dull... Hearing everyone laughing in groups around me really hurts because I know I can never make anyone laugh that much.
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thelocalkid
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#4
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(Original post by Winterfell01)
I guess you might be right... I just find it so hard to talk to people casually, everyone seems to swear, not in a mean way but in like a funny way that makes everyone laugh. Not swearing makes it so hard for me to fit into social groups and it just gets pretty lonely. Discipline is obviously an important thing and I’m glad it was such an important part of my childhood, but I just feel like discipline is ALL I ever developed growing up. I’m just all politeness, that literally all I am. And nobody finds that kind of thing fun, sure people like me because I’m nice but nobody enjoys talking to me for long. They always get bored of me and move on to have funny conversations with people who are good to talk to. I’ve found the best people to talk to, the most confident people, swear from time to time to immediately stop just boring politeness and move the conversation into something more memorable. I just want to get better at talking to people without being really dull... Hearing everyone laughing in groups around me really hurts because I know I can never make anyone laugh that much.
It’s very kind of you that you want to make other people laugh and smile. Humor is a medicine. You can make other people laugh without swearing. Drop a random joke whenever you get a chance. Sometimes you gotta remember your jokes may hurt someone or someone may get offended. Those are the sensitive ones and they’re always everywhere. Those friends who don’t talk to you for long, maybe you have small in common and that’s definitely fine, you don’t need to change or be like them so that they can talk to you long. You need friends that you share common things together and then you will see how the conversation goes long.
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