Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
I have been in university for almost a month now (first year) and still have not managed to make any friends. I will say hi to people in corridors and lectures and stuff, and there is one or two people I might stop and talk to, but beyond that my social interaction with others is basically non existent. I've tried not to let it bother me as everyone says to just give it time and I'll make friends eventually, but it is hard not to let it get to me as I am always sitting alone while others seem to have made pretty close groups already. It's gotten to the point where I can go days and hardly speak to anyone at all (other than on the phone) and the loneliness is really starting to get to me. I just feel so sad and isolated and I really dont know what to do. It's not that I haven't tried; I went to all the freshers events there were and spoke to some people but none of them developed into friendships and they have their own new friends now. I've also tried talking to my flatmates but again most of them seemed to have formed a group without me as we have a lack of common interest; they're all the type of people who like to go out drinking and clubbing etc and I'm really not. I've tried speaking to people on my course as well but again I just don't seem to click with anyone. I still will try to talk to new people whenever I can but I feel as ig my attempts are becoming more and more meaningless given that we've been in uni for nearly a month and people have passed the whole introducing themselves phase. I feel as if I am building a reputation for myself as a loner, and I really don't want to be one. I've never struggled making friends before and I love being social! This makes it all the more upsetting for me that i can't seem to make friends now at uni, where everyone says you will make friends for life. I can't even go home as I live quite far away, so I am constantly just stuck in my room, by myself, feeling lonely and depressed. It's gotten to the point where I'm already considering dropping out, even though I like the course I can't bear just not speaking to anyone for days on end. I am a social person who likes to talk to people generally, but again I just can't seem to click with anyone and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
Is it still possible to make friends at uni considering everyone already seens to had settled into groups? How long did it take you to make friends at uni? And what other things can I do to make friends? I would appreciate any advice
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Cheesybread
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Yes of course you can still make friends. If you're finding it hard, think about what things like or are into. Most uni's have a society for that. Lets say you like gaming, i'm sure they have a games society. Keep your head up, it can be hard at uni, i never became close mates with my flatmates but i did with a coursemate who introduced me to her friend and so on, that's how i got in a good group. Tutorials/seminars are good places to make friends too as often you are made to interact with people, just speak to the person sitting next to you.
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Anonymous #2
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I'm the same as you. There's so many times I've just been a total loner in the beginning of the year. I can't seem to make friends from the get go ever, but I always make them in the end. I guess you have to keep your hopes up and just chat to your old friends online or find some way to socialise like maybe on this website maybe, or watch youtube to replace the feeling and wait and pray for something good to happen.
Also the people that meet you late I feel are going to be the closest to you, as it happened numerous times to me.
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Jords2011
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have been in university for almost a month now (first year) and still have not managed to make any friends. I will say hi to people in corridors and lectures and stuff, and there is one or two people I might stop and talk to, but beyond that my social interaction with others is basically non existent. I've tried not to let it bother me as everyone says to just give it time and I'll make friends eventually, but it is hard not to let it get to me as I am always sitting alone while others seem to have made pretty close groups already. It's gotten to the point where I can go days and hardly speak to anyone at all (other than on the phone) and the loneliness is really starting to get to me. I just feel so sad and isolated and I really dont know what to do. It's not that I haven't tried; I went to all the freshers events there were and spoke to some people but none of them developed into friendships and they have their own new friends now. I've also tried talking to my flatmates but again most of them seemed to have formed a group without me as we have a lack of common interest; they're all the type of people who like to go out drinking and clubbing etc and I'm really not. I've tried speaking to people on my course as well but again I just don't seem to click with anyone. I still will try to talk to new people whenever I can but I feel as ig my attempts are becoming more and more meaningless given that we've been in uni for nearly a month and people have passed the whole introducing themselves phase. I feel as if I am building a reputation for myself as a loner, and I really don't want to be one. I've never struggled making friends before and I love being social! This makes it all the more upsetting for me that i can't seem to make friends now at uni, where everyone says you will make friends for life. I can't even go home as I live quite far away, so I am constantly just stuck in my room, by myself, feeling lonely and depressed. It's gotten to the point where I'm already considering dropping out, even though I like the course I can't bear just not speaking to anyone for days on end. I am a social person who likes to talk to people generally, but again I just can't seem to click with anyone and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
Is it still possible to make friends at uni considering everyone already seens to had settled into groups? How long did it take you to make friends at uni? And what other things can I do to make friends? I would appreciate any advice
Sorry to hear this, I think that you should maybe try and get to know people on the same floor as you in your accomodation or your neighbours. Try and talk to as many of them as you can, don't force it just let it be natural and say hello how are you or nod when you go past them. Maybe you could invite one of them round to chill or eat or watch football or somin or ask one of them if they want to go out. Just try and put yourself out there a bit more. Saying that, remember that you dis initially go to uni for the degree, and to better your future. There is a whole city where you are, if you can't hit it off with people at your uni then makw friends in the city.
Last edited by Jords2011; 1 year ago
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