I have just come off the phone to my boyfriend and he said some things that began to put me down. It started when he was talking about how I was grumpy with him one night and 'taking things out on him', and then I tried to explain that I only had a couple days left in a job I hated. I was also sexually assaulted in that job (which he knows about), meaning that I found it difficult to continue working my last couple shifts and the thought of going back to work really got me down. I didn't take anything out on him, I was just a bit upset and fed up. But he seemed to have completely disregarded all that and tried to turn himself into the victim.
This part is going to sound long-winded and I apologise in advance. We were on the topic of TV shows and movies, and he asked me what TV I like to watch and I said: 'I don't really watch much TV or films, and if I do I like to watch light-hearted things'. It just isn't a hobby of mine. He started to call me uncultured and bragged about he watches all these long, complicated symbolic plays and how I 'don't do anything'. He said I'm incapable of reflecting on a piece of work like a play or a movie and analysing how it reflects problems in wider society, basically saying I'm an idiot and incapable of abstract thinking. I'm going to study Sociology at university and I studied Religious Studies, Sociology, and French at A-level - all of which are very analytical subjects (yes, including French - I had to analyse multiple pieces of French literature... in French).
He then proceeded to say how he's the only person I talk to, how I don't go out and don't have any friends. All of which is untrue - I'm very reserved and I don't feel the need to talk about everything I do that doesn't involve him.
After a while I told him to stop talking during the call, and I told him how he made me feel and he said 'I didn't even realise I was doing it'. He's done this kind of thing before by making comments about certain aspects of my appearance and personality, and it has even been one of the reasons why we've broken up before. Before anyone says: 'you need to talk about it with him' - we've had this conversation multiple times, and every time we do he's always fine for a while, be very apologetic and then he'll start again. I personally would never make comments of that calibre to him because I know how they make me feel, and I wouldn't want him to feel the same.
On top of this, he always talks about how he misses me (we live around 2hrs away from each other, not a massive distance but long enough for us not to see each other often), but never seems to make much of an effort to make time for me. He doesn't take much interest in what I do (another reason why I don't tell him a lot about what I do in my free time is because I know what his reaction will be: a simple 'ok' and then move on from the subject).
I'm probably being over-sensitive and can't take a joke, but I tend to know when people are having a laugh, and when they're actively trying to rip shreds into me. Not really asking a question here, just wanted to share.