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Obscenely trivial problem

Hi everyone, just wanted some advice about a fairly trivial matter. It's about someone who used to be a really good friend two years ago. He's on TSR but doesn't come on H&R (and I don't think he even knows that I use the forum) so no need for Anon for once, huzzah!

Anyways, this friend was really important to me and helped me through a rough patch. We spent a fair amount of time together, then I found out he had a crush on me and that was why he'd made friends with me. I didn't worry about it because he now had a girlfriend (he'd fancied her for years) so I figured that since we were good friends now it didn't matter how that had come to pass.

About six months later I went away to uni and we stopped talking apart from sporadically on MSN. The last time was about a year ago and he said he missed me and wanted to stay in touch. Then he vanished and hasn't been back on. A month ago he added me on Facebook, but refuses to answer the couple of messages I left.

I just don't get it. Common sense says that he doesn't want to talk to me, but if so why bother adding me? I know it's Facebook and it's stupid to get worked up about it, but I sort of miss this guy and would really like to talk to him again. I'm still in touch with my other friends so don't know why this one has gone strange on me!

I'd quite like some guesses on why he's acting so oddly, if anyone can help I'd appreciate it! Thank you. :smile:

Reply 1

Harv616

9

Maybe he secretly had more feelings for you than you thought?

Best way to get over someone is to cut off all contact

Facebook does have a autoadd option which adds everyone from your MSN list to facebook, he might not have known he sent you the invite!

Reply 2

x-x-xamyx-x-x

Maybe he still likes your or is worried his feelings might develop again if they had dissipated?

Or maybe he's worried things will be different between you because it's been a while since you made proper contact?

There's a million and one reasons :p:

Reply 3

Phantom Phoenix

OP

13

Nah, he was there first and requested to add me a few days after I joined. I don't really do the Facebook thing much (added it to talk to my brother more, who never has phone credit!) but I understand that was deliberate?

Plus I sent him a message which he ignored. I don't see the point in adding then ignoring. I mean, I've just ignored a few people that I don't really want to talk to. It's really peculiar. Or there's a really simple answer that I haven't thought of. :p:

Edit: Sorry, that was to Harv. Amy, I know there's loads of reasons, that's why it's annoying me so much - nothing's ever bloody simple!

Reply 4

mollymustard

14

Yes, maybe he added you in order to have a sneaky peak at how you are and what you are up to. That doesnt neccesarily mean he wants to get back in touch with you.

There is a good chance that he is avoiding replying to your messages because it upsets him to talk to you because of his past feelings.

I wouldnt worry yourself too much over it. If he may come around and contact you soon anyway.

Reply 5

x-x-xamyx-x-x

Phantom Phoenix

Edit: Sorry, that was to Harv. Amy, I know there's loads of reasons, that's why it's annoying me so much - nothing's ever bloody simple!

Is there any other way for you to contact him? Maybe you should leave it a while, (you never know his internet could have died for a few days or something) and then contact him again on Facebook or by other means if you have other ways.

Reply 6

Phantom Phoenix

OP

13

x-x-xamyx-x-x

Is there any other way for you to contact him? Maybe you should leave it a while, (you never know his internet could have died for a few days or something) and then contact him again on Facebook or by other means if you have other ways.

I know he's been online because he's been doing Facebook stuff, just not talking to me! :puppyeyes:

I could contact him again on Facebook, but to be honest I don't want to look like a desperate clingy freak. Unfortunately the only way to talk to him is to be a desperate clingy freak. I suppose I could hassle him through his TSR account. :creep:

Reply 7

x-x-xamyx-x-x

Phantom Phoenix

I know he's been online because he's been doing Facebook stuff, just not talking to me! :puppyeyes:

I could contact him again on Facebook, but to be honest I don't want to look like a desperate clingy freak. Unfortunately the only way to talk to him is to be a desperate clingy freak. I suppose I could hassle him through his TSR account. :creep:

Hmmm well he is being very odd indeed then :s-smilie:

I still think you should leave it a few days and see if he decides to reply or not. Then perhaps have another go at contacting him and if he still ignores you then I would say he's not worth talking to anymore, if he can't make the effort to re-establish contact. :frown:

Reply 8

rummang

1

He couldn't beat the Friendzone game the first time round, so he's not up for having another go.

Reply 9

Phantom Phoenix

OP

13

rummang

He couldn't beat the Friendzone game the first time round, so he's not up for having another go.

I don't think he was trying, though. He'd just got with this girl who he'd fancied for 7 straight years, seems a little unlikely that he would care about a crush on me! They're still together as well, so it wasn't a bad relationship or anything. I did wonder if maybe his girlfriend doesn't like me. Wouldn't surprise me, if she knew about the crush-thing from before.

Reply 10

Phantom Phoenix

OP

13

Okay, well thanks a lot for advice everyone, but I think on reflection that I'm going to let it go. If he wanted to talk to me he would've. He's had no trouble keeping in touch with his other friends; guess I just didn't mean all that much to him after all. :frown:

Many thanks for help everyone :smile:

Obscenely trivial problem

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