Scared to go out Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Please keep anon.

Last September I was mugged quite close to my school and ever since, I've become paranoid to go anywhere, even going to the spot where I was mugged. I never liked taking the bus anywhere, but now I totally avoid using them unless I am with friends. I also generally do not like going out anywhere near my school and other areas (which are kind of rough, especially compared to the area where I live) for fear of something similar happening again. I used to be comfortable walking anywhere at midnight (with friends of course) but I just can't anymore. Yesterday I was in the park with my little brother and we saw this guy being surrounded by like 15 intimidating guys... We left and I told a police officer near by to check if he is okay... This happened just as I was starting to slowly lose my fear, but now it has all come back Now I just can't wait until I go to university... This incident has totally put me off staying in London, and now I want to go to somewhere safer I know every place has their share of crime, but some places are better than here.

This is really affecting me, and it's also affecting my social life as I don't like going rough places with my friends so I just don't go with them.

I just wanted to post this as I wanted to get it out and I don't really feel comfortable telling this to anyone I know.
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Spire
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#2
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You could just wait for uni, I know how its like living in london (east london :mad: ) and most places are bound to be safer than here. I think you shouldn't just stay in all the time, just go out once in a while to sort of remain in control, otherwise you might develop an extreme phobia of not going out.
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Bagration
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#3
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Buy a knife and learn how to use it. Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice.
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Ruthie!
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#4
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Have you talked to your gp? You could get referred to a psychiatrist, I'm not saying your crazy or a nut job or anthing, but it can be very hard to get over things like this without professional help.
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aniiiiiiii
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#5
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same thing happened to me.. i was mugged around 3 years ago at 14ish. Yeah its a little scary walking past the exact spot, but I got over it in like a week, and was back to normal. You cant stop going out and ruining your fun just because some idiots decided to mug you.. dont let them spoil it for you. If you go out in big groups im sure it'll be fine, as there will be loads of you. And remember, even though you do hear about a lot of muggings etc in london, doesnt neccessarily mean it WILL happen to you, however there is a chance (maybe a higher chance if you live in certain areas)..you cant hide away forever! Just go out and enjoy yourself xx
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Youngs
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#6
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I know it's easy for me to say but the best thing is to get out there again and confront your fears. Getting mugged or assualted is always going to be a difficult experience to deal with, it's a very personal crime. What you do need to remember is this has only happened to you once(I presume), it's unlikely to happen again. I know it seems silly but how about getting a cab to a pub, having a few drinks with friends and then get the bus back? The dutch courage might help.

Also can I ask which bit of London you live in? Just to help get a bit of a better picture.
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Fillette
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#7
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I would definitely go and see a counsellor about it; you'll be able to properly deal with your fear about going out. You don't want to feel in a paranoid state especially as its summer time and you want to be out and about now there's no school! I would contact a counsellor asap!
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charlotte_1989
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#8
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i don't think people should be encouraging knife violence
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Laura_Dora
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#9
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I was in a similar situation, about 4 years ago i was walking home from school, i wasnt mugged, but had a knife held to my throat (i guess they just did it for kicks...). I got really scared to go to school/go out etc... it stayed that way for 2 years because i didnt push myself, its only when i met my boyfriend that it got a bit better. Hes a no nonsence guy, and didnt see why i should be scared (which was quite frustrating at times) but in the end, going out with him to places, meant that after a few times id try it on my own etc..

So basically my advice is try going out these places that scare you with someone you feel safe with, do it a few times until you feel yourself relax a bit , then have a go on your own (go to places within reason - no going down dark alleyways on your own etc...)

If you stay in the house for a long time, believe me its gets very depressing and lonely.
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Danny the Geezer
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(Original post by Bagration)
Buy a knife and learn how to use it. Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice.

Violence breeds violence. :mad:
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Collingwood
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Bagration's advice is somewhat illegal and so should probably be disregarded, but it does make one wonder what proportion of people who are convicted of the crime of carrying an 'offensive weapon' in public actually intended to use it to perpetrate a crime, and what proportion we have locked up having intended only to exercise their (legal) right to self defence, if it became necessary.
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I_used_to_love_H.E.R
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#12
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Well in london this is always going to happen nowhere is really safe.
But you have to conquer your fears, at first you feel abit paranoid but soon you have to go back to the same place.
If this happens again you should try avoid this as much as possible.
I suggest walking home with alot of friends, thats what i done, nothing happens. you could also fight back because most of them tend to back up, but my situation was diffferent tho, but i dont know where you live and 2day anything could happen. So you shouldnt fight fire with fire for your own safety.
But i understand it could take a couple of days to get over this, it cool its natural but you what have to understand is brother that you mustnt let this stop you living ur life.
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Toy Soldier
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(Original post by Collingwood)
Bagration's advice is somewhat illegal and so should probably be disregarded, but it does make one wonder what proportion of people who are convicted of the crime of carrying an 'offensive weapon' in public actually intended to use it to perpetrate a crime, and what proportion we have locked up having intended only to exercise their (legal) right to self defence, if it became necessary.
Legal right to self defense? In the UK? You must be hjoking. You don't have one. Beat up a mugger and you'll find yourself on an assault charge. Stab someone who's trying to knife you and you'll likely be up for GBH / manslaughter. It's ridiculous, but it's how it is in this country.

[edit] It might be "assault with a deadly weapon", not GBH. Hmm. Or both. My point stands anyway.
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Bagration
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(Original post by jaydoh)
Violence breeds violence. :mad:
That's why the police have batons and the army has guns, right :rolleyes:
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Collingwood
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#15
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(Original post by Toy Soldier)
Legal right to self defense? In the UK? You must be hjoking. You don't have one. Beat up a mugger and you'll find yourself on an assault charge. Stab someone who's trying to knife you and you'll likely be up for GBH / manslaughter. It's ridiculous, but it's how it is in this country.
I don't know how true this is in practice, but in principle self defence is still a valid legal defence against those sorts of charges.

I think a lot if it is due to police arrest targets. Innocent people don't run away or try to cover up what they did, so they're easy arrest statistics.
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