Severe anxiety in sixth formWatch this thread
Fast forward to sixth form and things have really taken a toll for the worst. I keep questioning whether what subjects I have picked are right for me (even though they are ones I performed best at GCSE) which has led me to get jittery and start getting panic attacks. They also cause me to overthink everything leading me to be even more anxious. Most of my overthinking I’d say is questions that usually start with “what if?”. I wouldn’t say the panic attacks are severe but on the basis that I’ve never had them before, it’s just scary.
I’m doing Biology, Chemistry, Psychology and Applied General Business at school and I constantly question whether picking these was the right choice. At the start of the year I kind of wanted to do something medicine based, but it wasn’t a burning desire or anything, i just had nothing else there. Now I have progressed a little through my A levels I would like to study Psychology at uni (or maybe criminology) as this is just something I find interesting. Chemistry is my constant cause of anxiety as I am really struggling with the maths side of it, the theory is fine, it’s just the long worded maths ones I find difficult to process with my dyslexia. I want to drop this but the Applied A level is basically a BTEC so my parents aren’t very happy about it and I don’t want it to hinder my chances at university. People keep telling me to contact individual universities, which I will do eventually, but I know that if even one of those universities comes back and says “sorry we don’t accept a BTEC” I will panic again.
I have exams after half term and I feel like I constantly need to be working. Doing so well at GCSE has turned me into a big perfectionist so I am never happy. When I’m not studying I panic because I feel that I should be studying and I’ll fail if I don’t study. I’ve tried taking more time to myself and I recently picked up drawing again (which was originally ruined for me because of the pressure of GCSE art) but when I draw I feel I need to be studying. The same if I’m watching something on TV in the evening with my family. School work (especially working for chemistry) has really taken over my life and I feel that if I don’t get A*s at the end everyone around me will be disappointed, but yet my motivation to do things is lower then ever. I struggle to get up in the morning because my whole life just revolves around school. I just feel exhausted because I overthink in bed so then I don’t sleep. This means I get tired, which triggers the panicking and overthinking more and it’s just an endless cycle.
To add to this stress, I haven’t had a period since July and so am being tested for all sorts by the doctor which also increases my anxiety because I tend to see the worst outcome. Just last night I only got 2 hours of sleep because my thoughts were crowded with the idea that I could have early menopause or something else really bad. I’ve started seeing the worst side of things and if anything goes wrong I panic. I tried confiding in my mum but she just tells me to “get a grip”, so I no longer try to ask for help. I have started to see my school counsellor every Wednesday and even though this I’d say, helps a little, it doesn’t help me to stop any panic and overthinking when it gets bad. I just feel that when I do panic I have nobody to confide in. I also see my school Chaplin twice a week to help with mindfulness but again, it only works on some occasions. It doesn’t stop my overthinking or my panicking once it’s arrived.
I just don’t know what to do. I have a meditation app called Insight timer but I only use it before bed to try and distract myself, it never addresses the underlying issue.
If you’ve read this far I really appreciate it, and I appreciate any feedback anyone has to offer. I know I need help and I don’t know how much longer I’ll last under all this pressure.
(I think I managed to get everything off of my chest, but I may edit/ add things later to the thread as I am working on 2 hours sleep and I feel exhausted).
please give yourself a break, i know it’s teally hard right now but i’m sending love and hoping things look up for you