YAFGP.. Yet another f'ing girlfriend problem Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Ok so I've not been in very many relationships; This is my second 'proper' one.

TBH I'm strugling to write this, I don't even know how I feel about this girl, sometimes I really like her and other times I feel like I can't even be bothered to go and see her; although I generally leave feeling happy when I do. I've met all of her immediate family and she's met mine plus a few grandparents.

When I kissed my ex, even though I regard her technique to be much poorer, I felt something much stronger than with my current girlfriend.

We've been going out for just over a month, both virgins though have seen each other almost completley naked, slept in the same bed once (too early in to do much beyond touch) etc. I think it lacks passion, she's always really tired and rarely makes the first 'move'. I don't feel like it's going anywhere? I've had one or two dreams & just random thoughts throughout the day about kissing random other people or more (Which I always feel really guilty about, even though it's not 'cheating' or anything)

Anyway we're going to a party soon and she's sleeping at mine, my parents are out so I have an empty house. I don't know what to do anymore, I'd like to get more intimate with her but don't know if I should whilst I question the relationship.

Might be worth adding that I met her by full-on kissing without even knowing each others names.
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Malsy
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#2
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I think that you may only have a physical relationship more than an emotionally connected one-which isnt great, but not seriously bad.

Don't just think it's all about physical things otherwise it won't last.

I would say get out, end it ,as it's a bit obvious it won't hurt you that much as your not exactly emotional together yet I suggest that would be best whether that it is for the best or not is for you to decide as only you know how you feel-and how you would feel without her anymore.

Good Luck

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Anonymous #1
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I think, and I appreciate how selfish this is, but I only want a physical relationship; I'm going to uni soon and can't see this lasting LD, but I do think that she wants more than that?
Would it to be selfish to keep this going for the sake of sexual experience then end it before I leave?
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Anonymous #1
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I'm not certain what I want, at all, tbh.
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Beckieee
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#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think, and I appreciate how selfish this is, but I only want a physical relationship; I'm going to uni soon and can't see this lasting LD, but I do think that she wants more than that?
Would it to be selfish to keep this going for the sake of sexual experience then end it before I leave?
:rolleyes:
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GemmyMonster
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think, and I appreciate how selfish this is, but I only want a physical relationship; I'm going to uni soon and can't see this lasting LD, but I do think that she wants more than that?
Would it to be selfish to keep this going for the sake of sexual experience then end it before I leave?

I don't think you even need to be told the answer to that.

If you want that, warn her of what you want.
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Redpanda91
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Leave her... it'll only be worse the longer you leave it. you may only want a physical relationship but she may want something more serious - if it doesn't look like it's gonna go anywhere and you're going off to uni and don't see it lasting, I suggest splitting
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username124534
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you'll get plenty of other opportunities for 'sexual experience' at uni.
your virginity isn't something branded across your forehead that you need to get rid of.
in fact, a girl's more likely to find it sweet that you're still a virgin, the next time you get into a relationship.

if she's just up for sex, then go for it, but discuss it with her first. you might be surprised. be tactful, though - "sorry babe, only up for a shag." isn't the best way to go about it, for example :P

if you can't bring it up with her, or she doesn't feel the same, then leave her. otherwise it'll only get complicated.

and she's still a virgin. have some heart. if she thinks you really love her, and then you sleep with her for your own sexual gratification, you'll always be her mistake.

y'know, the one that gets discussed at parties.

i think you care enough about her not to do that, though.
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mr-breaker
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think, and I appreciate how selfish this is, but I only want a physical relationship;
That's fine (and I encourage it), but how does that square with this:

Anyway we're going to a party soon and she's sleeping at mine, my parents are out so I have an empty house. I don't know what to do anymore
Isn't this a fist-pump snap-call let's-get-it-on situation here?

Would it to be selfish to keep this going for the sake of sexual experience then end it before I leave?
This is gonna depend on HER personality. She might be down for what YOU want. In fact if you "sell her the dream" she might say "let's have a nice summer........now let's do this!"

If she's somewhat fragile, and you think on the balance of probabilities she won't take it well, you're better off finding another chick.

A more amoral stance to take is; she's gonna have her heart broken someday, it may as well be from the best thing that's walked into her life so far!

YMMV
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mr-breaker)
That's fine (and I encourage it), but how does that square with this:

Isn't this a fist-pump snap-call let's-get-it-on situation here?
I don't particularly want to hurt her, she's too nice.

There's like 3 months until I go to uni, alot can change between now and then surely? Personality wise we're similar in what we like although opposite in terms of I like supprises and constant change where as she likes consistency and isn't very 'random' as much as I hate the word.
I don't think I want to break up with her, I'm not completley unattached emotionally... and there's not actually anything 'wrong' with the relationship, as such, I just know it could be much better or it's not what I want right now.

I think I'm gonna see what happens after the party, then have a 'talk' about what we both want from this.

Thanks for the replies.
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