Confused About Him? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Well a few weeks before the end of term, I was "seeing" this guy - which amounted to 3 dates within the last week. We got on really well and everything and he said that he'd try and see me over summer.

Now, I know he's going away on the 9th July until September, so there really isn't much chance to see him. He was going to come and see me a few weeks back, but then his plans changed and he couldnt make it, fair enough. Then this week, he was meant to be going back to uni for a few days, and I said that I'd come and see him (I don't live too far away). His plans changed again.

By that point I was getting really paranoid (cos I'm a girl) and I text him to ask him whether it was me, and that he could really just say no and it would be fine. He then said that he didn't want anything serious before he went away, which is fair enough, and exactly what I expected. I explained to him that I was just wanting to see him so that maybe when he came back he would remember me and possibly want to go out again and then at the end I said "nevermind I guess." He then replies- "I didn't say that I didnt want to see you, I should be up at the weekend. Its up to you." I'm already going to get my keys at the weekend, so I said that I'd see him.

Now the thing that I really dont get is this.... he first acted all sweet and kind when we were together saying that he wanted to see me, then his plans kept on changing and he couldnt see me, he then said that he doesn't want anything serious, but still wants to see me?

What does he want? I don't want to go up there and for him to win me over and sleep with me (yes, I know, I'm a "slut" for doing it so early on) just because he can, and then just forget. Should I even go and see him? Or should I just go fully with the intention to tell him exactly what I wanted out of this, and just see what he says?
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fairycakes
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#2
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#2
no one can answer the question of what he wants for sure cos we're not him.

i think you have nothing really to lose. just go with an open mind of how he feels about you, and a plan of how you want to play things before you go. i don't think you should immediately start outlining exactly what you want and get all serious, cos that might scare him away, even if he did want something potentially serious with you when he gets back. just keep it casual and laid back. but if you are worried about him using you for sex, don't sleep with him!
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yhal
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#3
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I think you should go and see him, like fairycakes said, youve nothing to lose. Dont sleep with him though if itd bother you if nothing else happened after summer and youd regret doing it.

Just see what happens. I was in a vaguely similar situation - saw him a bit at end of term, plans to see me before he went home for summer which didnt happen, didnt wanna start anything serious etc but we met up near the start of summer when he came back for a bit and been with him for nearly a month now...
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Strictly Business
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#4
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Christen your new crib.
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fairycakes
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#5
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yeah, like yhal, i was in a similar situation. i started seeing this guy a couple weeks before i was going to go to china for 2 months. i was also wndering what he wanted and if he was just using me for sex - not that i slept with him. he told me he didn't want anything serious and wasn't looking for a gf. because of that, i was like ok, and took things as they came, found a guy i liked in china and started goig out with him (he was from england), and turned out the first guy still liked me when i got back. and eventually we started going out, and we've been together now for 8 months!
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Desperate Prayer
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#6
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Ask him!
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Anonymous #1
#7
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Awesome replies people. Especially fairycake's first one. I was planning on seeing him and saying to him something like "I don't want to hold you back over Summer, but we get on really well and I thought that maybe you'd like to see me after summer" - but this was before he said that he doesn't want anything serious. I guess I'll just go with the flow and see where the conversation turns.
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